choose

Finally, a full six years have passed since this story happened.

I've fantasized countless times about this moment, that is, when this book is so important to me that I publish the commemorative edition and hardcover edition, what kind of mood and what kind of writing will I use to write this preface.

I used to think that I would write thousands of words and talk endlessly, but at the moment, I really don't know where to start, I just feel that there are a lot of things I want to say and emotions that I want to express, but I don't know where to put pen to paper.

In 2009, the contract for this story has expired, but those who are familiar with me know that I have always been confused, and it is a great luck that I didn't lose myself every time I went out, so the copyright of "Liangsheng, Can We Not Be Sad 1" and "Liangsheng, Can We Not Be Sad 2" have never signed contracts with other publishing houses, and have been kept in my hands like this.

In the period from 2009 to April 2012, there were no reprints, commemorative editions, or collector's editions of these two books.

For three years, he was like a quiet child, silently by my side. In this quiet time, he belongs to me and I belong to him.

Finally, in April 2012, I delivered him to you again.

2012 is probably a good opportunity.

Originally, I didn't plan to write anymore, but because of too many coincidences, I still returned to this circle, which is later in the preface, and I will mention the reason.

During my quiet time, it happened that the contracts of six or seven books I had worked with three companies in the past had expired, and most of them had expired for a year, and the copyright of "Liangsheng" had expired for three years.

I'm really a snail, not only slow to write, but also slow enough to take care of my books, which is why a lot of rice complains to me: rice big, happy mouse, snail rice, chicken wings...... Why can't we buy your books?

The simple reason is that these books have been on contract for more than a year. Everyone in the circle understands that after the contract of a book expires, the copyright returns to the author, the publisher can no longer print and publish, and even the inventory in the contract period can only be sold out within half a year of the expiration of the contract according to the contract.

This is out of respect and protection for the author.

Therefore, it is not surprising at all why many readers can no longer buy the previous "Liangsheng" series, "Duan Qingyi" series and "Wutong So Hurts......

Continue to return to the above topic, because this is 2012, and because the copyright of these books happens to expire, so I hope to plan the future days and works in a unified way, and I don't want to write slowly, and be called "snail rice" by you anxiously and hatefully. Therefore, the works in the future (except for the previously contracted ones) will no longer be scattered among several publishing companies, but will be delivered and placed in one place.

It is my heart that is delivered, and what is placed is my youth.

After that, it was my decision and choice to write quietly and live simply.

Six years

I don't know if readers were still reading the story I wrote when the book was first published in 2006.

If she is still there, then she must be my antique reader. I think that in front of her, in addition to being happy, I was more moved, and even a little shy.

In 2005, I started writing in earnest. At that time, I gave myself the pen name "Le Xiaomi", just hoping that I could be satisfied and happy with the slightest thing.

At that time, I started contributing to a forum called Clover, and at that time, there was also a magazine called Starlight Girl. Because of that magazine, because of that forum, I met two mentors and friends in my writing career, and I always called them Du Du and Ruoruo, just as they called me Xiaomi. At that time, I was a small writer, they were a small editor, and we walked together with our simple love for this industry, and we got tired of being together.

In 2005, my first manuscript fee for "Starlight Girl" was 62 yuan. At that time, when I was still a freshman, I silently planned: Well, if I can write 8 manuscripts a month, I can earn 500 yuan, so that I can solve a month's living expenses, and I don't have to reach out to my parents, how wonderful.

In 2005, Du Du and Ruoruo were still small editors with a basic salary of only about 600 yuan. Du Du said that she didn't know anything at that time, she didn't go to meet the editor-in-chief, she didn't cater to big-name writers, she would only look for the motivation that could warm her, encourage her, and support her in the industry in the mountains of readers' letters, or look through the countless forum submissions to find the children she thought the story was well written.

And I'm the lucky kid she picked up from a pile of words.

At that time, in addition to our love for this circle, we also had a little selfish thought-

Du Du: Well, this little guy is good, the pass rate of the manuscript is relatively good, and I can earn more page fees!

Mimi: Uh-huh! It's good to follow this edit, there is meat to eat, there is meat to eat! Please bless me for making 62 bucks a few more times!

- Yes, that's all we had in the beginning, no one would have predicted who would become, no one would have thought about who would be pushed to what heights, and no one would even think that anyone would have achieved whom.

Because, we are all from the most grassroots places, and there is no envy to the point that your eyes are red. In this way, we are quietly, self-care, with humble little selfishness and small distractions, happily doing this work that makes our youth gradually have a vivid color.

In 2006, a magazine called "Fireworks" began to be born in the hands of Du Du. So, she removed one of my manuscripts published on the Clover Forum, called "Lost in Spring" - at that time, neither she nor I knew whether this manuscript could pass the final review of the editor-in-chief.

Everything was lucky, as if I was destined to be discovered by her and Ruoruo at the Clover Forum in 2005, and that manuscript finally passed the final review of the editor-in-chief.

Many times, I often think, if it weren't for the Clover Forum at that time, without Du Du and Ruoruo, and without the smooth final review of the editor-in-chief, what kind of career would I be doing now, what kind of life would I be experiencing now?

I think I'll still be safe and well, but I won't meet you, the ones who have given me the strength to keep going in the midst of countless silent nights.

I'm a lazy author, and although I planned to write 8 short stories a month in the 62 oceans era, it turned out that I was able to write one a month, and it was a source of inspiration.

So, there is some truth to you calling me a snail.

Since then, in my writing career, every time I can't write, when I am anxious because of trivial matters, and when I am scolded by readers for writing stories that are incomprehensible and lost...... It's the warm messages you have on the post bar and on QQ that give me the courage and motivation to continue writing. Because, I know that in this world, there is still a group of people who are determined to like me.

So, I have to keep writing, because that's where my happiness lies, and that's where a lot of people wait.

In the summer of 2006, Du Du said to me, Mimi, write a story of about 20,000 words.

I said, OK!

So, I obediently finished writing and delivering.

After reading it, Du Du said, your sister! You made such a moving and perfect beginning, and wrote such a hasty dog-tail-like ending, don't you want to be mixed!

Then, she said, you write slowly, you don't have to think about the word count, just finish the story in its entirety.

So, this story is what appeared in front of your eyes later on Christmas Eve in 2006 - "Liangsheng, Can We Not Be Sad 1".

On Christmas Eve that year, I went to Changsha for the first time, and for the first time I saw the "living" Du Du and Ruoruo, as well as Yanran and Xuan.

In the pedestrian street where people come and go, in the dense crowd, I, a myopia of more than 600 degrees, actually picked up 50 yuan!!

Dudu said that this was my lucky start.

On Christmas Eve that year, she bought me a bunch of water chestnuts to eat.

The night in Changsha is very noisy; At night, I was very greedy; And the string of water chestnuts that Du Du gave me was very sweet.

So, even after so many years and so much time, on this quiet night in Qingdao, I still seem to be able to feel the sweetness of the string of water chestnuts she gave me that night.

Between the lips and teeth, there is still a lingering fragrance.

On Christmas Eve, Ruoruo and I slept in the same room, and Du Du hung out with Yan and Yanran.

At that time, Ruoruo had long black and straight hair, and after taking a shower in the hotel, she wore a white bathrobe and poured me water to drink.

She's the most swaying woman I've ever seen wearing high heels and floral dresses. Because of her, I learned to wear makeup, I learned to use perfume, I learned to wear high heels like a woman......

She was the most "cruel" to me of all the editors, because she was a very serious person about her editorial work.

In my life, almost all the manuscripts that have been shot have come from her clutches - and of course, it is because of her that I have learned to be cautious and never to be complacent and proud.

Later on, I also met more close companions who were careful and dedicated to accompanying me in my future.

The thing I'm most sorry for is that during the days of making "Qingcheng II", our queen wooden children's shoes caused the American editor to work overtime non-stop.

I'm not a good author, but someone is willing to spoil me like this.

I told Queen Mu that I would be obedient in the future and resolutely not procrastinate......

Queen Mu also posted a Weibo for this screenshot.

Ruoruo also told me, saying, in the future, follow Amu's life, don't be as free and loose as before. You have to follow the rhythm of everyone's work, otherwise, many people will work overtime for one of your books.

Yes, over the years, every book you have waited for me, or every author's book, it is not only due to the hard work of one author, but also a bunch of people who are busy and paying for it in those links of typesetting, revision, and editing.

In time, you only see us in front of the spotlight, but you can't see these partners behind the scenes.

guts

I've always wanted to write every story well and get you to like it.

Not because of how much I want to please you, but as I said before, I was a grassroots girl who was crawling through this dream circle with my dear grassroots editors. Most of the children who first read my story were from the grassroots, just like me.

From their letters, I know that many middle and high school readers have saved money for breakfast and bought magazines and stories with my name on them.

This kind of thing will not touch a person's heart small.

Of course, six or seven years have passed, and perhaps today's readers are no longer what they used to be. They're better off, but I still remember the letters the editor told me.

That's it, I hope I can write every story well and not let you down.

Because I know that there are people who want to go hungry to read my stories, I can't let readers go hungry and read works that I am not satisfied with.

So, that's why over the years, I've published a relatively small number of short articles in magazines.

Less, because I want to write every story well; I concentrated on a few fixed magazines because I didn't want readers to spend more money on magazines that had all my work.

Okay, I'm a little embarrassed to write this, how do I feel so virgin!

A voice in my heart said, snail fat rice, you are obviously a foodie! A lazy bug! A wealth fan! Why are you so embarrassed to put gold on your face!!

But another voice in my heart told me that people need courage to face the ugliness in their hearts, and they also need more courage to face the goodness in their hearts! Because of the world, because of the warmth and coldness of people, some kindness will be considered false, and even you yourself are ashamed to believe it and dare not be sure.

Still, I have the cheekiness to write it, not to flaunt myself, but to commemorate the six years I have been with you, and to commemorate the readers who have saved money for breakfast to buy my stories.

I don't know if you're still reading my story, I don't know how you're doing now, but no matter how time changes, whether we can meet in this life or not, I will remember the first touches you gave me.

Maybe when you think back to that time, when you grew up at this time, you will smile and say that you were so stupid at that time.

But for me, no matter how old time passes, I am willing to believe and remember that you are still the same girl you were at the beginning, serious, stubborn, and lonely, and you have a lot of things on your mind but have nowhere to tell, so you can only communicate silently in the stories of me and countless writers like me.

Thank you for giving me this time.

I am also grateful for the tremendous courage that I have accumulated deep in my heart during this time, which I am not aware of, and it is this courage that allows me to face greater storms in the future.

yoke

It is often said that when you take something too seriously, you will be tired and hurt in the future.

I started writing because I liked it. I like the joys and sorrows expressed in words, I like the beauty of words, and gradually, I like the praise that words bring......

I remember when I first wrote the story of "Liangsheng 1", I never thought about what way, rhetoric, and technique I should use to please my readers, but in my mind, there was such a picturesque teenager, calm as water, quiet as a lotus.

He looked at me in the silence of time and space, at the world, and so, like a look, in my instinctive imagination, there was this story.

And it just so happens that this story I like, the boy I like, is also loved and liked by you.

This kind of beauty is no less than the love between men and women.

Later, gradually, because they cared about the reader's feelings, people became cautious, and wrote very few short stories, and the same is true for long stories, just hoping that everything they write can be liked by their readers.

Yes, I was deeply touched by the group of readers who saved their breakfast money to buy my books and magazines with my words. In this way, writing has gradually turned from a simple love to a kind of pressure, hoping to please your readers more.

This is a harmless responsibility, but once it is attached, people lose the simple pleasure of writing when they first liked to write, and they will always suffer from gains and losses - when they see criticism and dislike, they become cautious and silent, and more sad. I don't know if all authors have gone through this mental journey.

It's not what I like to be, and it's not who I am.

This feeling was especially obvious when writing "Liangsheng 2". I feel like I'm walking a tightrope, carefully trying to maintain the beauty of this story, but I know that it is difficult to satisfy everyone's aesthetics, and this feeling is a kind of torment for myself five years ago.

Later, many readers watched "Liangsheng 2" first before watching "Liangsheng 1", and then they said that they felt that "Liangsheng 1" was not as good as "Liangsheng 2", which was contrary to the opinions of some old readers of "Liangsheng 1...... That's when I realized that many preferences stem from people's habitual preconceived notions.

The harder you push and the more you care about something, the easier it is to go to extremes.

If writing is no longer a pleasure, why continue?

That's one of the reasons I stopped for three years.

Yes, if writing is no longer something I love, if it makes me depressed, if it makes me cautious, if it makes me walk on thin ice, why should I continue to do so?

For the so-called manuscript fee?

For the sake of so-called fame?

These don't seem to be that important to Aquarius people. For me, it seems to be more important for a girl to be happy when she has no worries about food and clothing.

And so, with a knot in the heart, and of course, there are other reasons, such as illness – both psychological and physical...... All things considered, I stopped writing and concentrated on living the peaceful life I wanted.

In those days, with your friends around you, no one cared that you were once an author, and you were once liked or sought after by many people. You're just a friend around them, you can cook, you're too greedy, you're careful, you're obsessed with looking at handsome guys, you're a little grumpy, you turn your face faster than you turn a book, you're a flashlight - you always look at other people's shortcomings but don't look at your own shortcomings, and you're a little bit of a money fan......

But it doesn't matter, it's not because you're beautiful that I like you – that's a friend.

Sometimes, people are always greedy, and I also hoped that such an unhappy self could also be accepted by you - for example, one day I wrote a story that I couldn't read, and then forced you to say in the QQ group, wow, Master Mi, it's so good-looking, you are simply possessed by Wenqu Xing.

Then, in reality, you cover your mouths and keep retching, hating to vomit out all the food you had last night, and then scold in your hearts - Le Snail, you bad guy who cheats money with code words!

I'm a narcissist......

In fact, whether it is leaving or spending time in this circle, there is one thing I miss very much - that is, I have met you, we have talked and chatted so freely on QQ and Tieba, and you have given me so much support and encouragement.

I love that time, the time I used to meet you.

journey

I thought that this departure would be indefinite.

I thought I would never write a story again, even though there were so many faces in my mind and so many inspirations that I wanted to put into writing, but sadly, I didn't want to see my own words again.

In those days, I didn't go online, I didn't read the books I had written, and I tried to forget that I was once a girl who loved to write.

It's just that, occasionally looking at my hands, I will be inexplicably lost.

Because, I used it to play my favorite notes and passages in front of the computer like playing a piano.

This statement is hypocritical and literary enough!

Therefore, the country is easy to change, but the nature is difficult to change. Even if I'm not in the text circle anymore, I can still occasionally write a little bit of literature.

It wasn't until that spring, after I had "disappeared" for a long time, that Ruoruo and Du Du came to Qingdao almost from the sky and appeared beside me without warning.

I seemed to wake up from a self-conscious dream.

Hugs and tears are something that will never be missing between friends who have been reunited for a long time.

Actually, the days when I disappeared were with the book contracts of the same two companies - this is why you have waited so long for "Qingcheng II.", "Liangsheng 3" and "Phoenix Tour on the Phoenix Stage".

Now when I think of this, in addition to lamenting the tolerance and support of the two companies, I will also sigh to myself, such a money obsessed with myself, how lonely and brave I am, I don't even want my beloved, my favorite, my dear MONEY, and I insist on giving up writing without a sense of responsibility.

Of course, from this point of view, it can be imagined that when I decided to leave, I was indeed full of desire - if I continued, according to my physical and mental health, it is estimated that at this moment in three years, what you are waiting for is not my return, but my path to heaven.

Well, no kidding, in fact, writing a preface is a serious matter, and I always like to make serious things so unserious, I'm sorry.

Then wait two years, after my mind is stable, and when the collector's edition is released, I will write a steady and elegant preface, and give it to you, give it to myself.

The arrival of Ruoruo and Du Du back then gradually made my heart ripple.

Very light.

I know they're waiting for my return.

So I started thinking, can I still write? Can you still write? Still like to write?

Yes, and most importantly – do I still like to write?

The answer is yes.

I love to write, it's my hobby and my specialty – I also know how to cook, and I can open a private restaurant.

But even though the answer is so straightforward, I still hesitate - because I haven't woken up from this dream yet, I still love the real life in reality, the laughter is real, the language is real, the pain is real, the hate is real, everything is real.

For half a year, I was immersed in this thinking.

It wasn't until seven months later that a child named Mousheng appeared in front of me - at that moment, my world was truly touched!

She is my reader.

She's one of you.

She started reading my story when she was seventeen, and when she was twenty-one, she came to me.

I thought she would say, you dead snail, where are my "Liangsheng 3", my "Qingcheng II", and my "Phoenix Tour on the Phoenix Stage" dead!

So I hugged her and I said, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Her words to me were, it doesn't matter, it's important to see that you're good.

In those days, she was always by my side, quiet as a cat, not at all the obscene and mean appearance of us on the Internet.

She said, Xiaomi, if you don't like to write, don't write.

It really doesn't matter, she said.

Her arrival has taught me one thing, that is, some people may be waiting for the end of your story, while others are waiting for your news.

I looked at her as if I had seen those days many years ago – she was not my first reader, but she was also an "old reader" of mine.

From them, I seem to see the trajectory of my own growth.

When I first started writing, it was just because I loved writing – at that time, I didn't know that writing would bring me applause, support, encouragement, ......

All I know is that I like to write. When I was in high school, others were listening to lectures, but I was writing other people's stories and joys and sorrows on the text, and these original stories are still kept in many thick notebooks. A lazy person like me could fill so many thick notebooks; People as active as I am can sit in front of a computer for more than ten hours just to write a story.

……

In 2011, I think I finally saw myself clearly.

Because of a certain Sheng.

also because of the group of people behind a certain Sheng.

Because there are people waiting, I will have the courage to move forward.

In 2012, I started a new journey in my life.

I let go of the happiness and baggage you gave me, and just wanted to write the story I wanted to write like I did when I first wrote, and it just so happened that you liked it too.

Of course, you can also dislike it.

However, I must make myself like it.

Because, it's my hobby.

I still hope that every story will be liked by you, but I will no longer be obsessed with this luxury, just like my private restaurant, no one will think that I am the best chef.

Thanks to the past six years, after so many ups and downs, it doesn't matter whether you break out of the cocoon into a butterfly or a moth.

The important thing is that they all have the moment when they break out of their cocoons and fly.

I know that one day, I will grow old and the title of chicken wings girl will no longer belong to me. However, how hypocritically I hope that in all these times that belong to me and you, I will always be your chicken winged girl.

Like many, many years ago, when I first started writing.