To hate, or not to hate. Dust↑緣↓Literature ↙? Net

For Xia Chuxin, do I hate it?

If it had been placed before, I would have answered without hesitation, I hate her. She was the fuse, triggered Yang Xin's cruel abuse of me, she pretended to be high-minded, looked down on me from the bottom of her heart, she didn't know right from wrong, misunderstood that I drugged her, she was indifferent and selfish, she saw me being burned by the fire and didn't care, she witnessed Yang Xin destroy me and my family. All of this made me hate her to the core. As soon as I think of Xia Chuxin, I feel a wave of anger and resentment rushing into my mind, and my hatred for her is really deep.

However, since the last time I crossed paths with her in Dali, my opinion of her has changed somewhat, at least, I know that she is not a cold-blooded and cruel person. I still remember clearly that night she stood by the window to watch Dali's night, her expression was deep and depressed, I could feel the unspeakable pain in her heart, and later, she also told me that she was because of her misunderstanding of me, and I was not saved from death, so that she felt guilty and self-blame, this emotion haunted her like a demon, so that she couldn't sleep at night, and she didn't know how to eat. So, when she knew that I was still alive, her first thought was to make amends to me, and for this reason, she did not hesitate to give me the heart of the desert that she cherished as her life.

I got the Heart of the Desert, and I was naturally grateful to her, and the most important thing is that when I saw her like this, I knew that she was not a cold-blooded animal, and she also knew how to feel guilty, and she also knew that she would blame herself, and she would make up for her mistakes. It's just that some mistakes are made, not that it doesn't exist after making up for it, Xia Chuxin, no matter what, she will remind me of the fact that I was burned, and that tragic battle. Her demons are lifted, but my demons are still there, I will never forget, the tragedy of the nightmare, I will always remember the indifferent and selfish side of Xia Chuchu. That's right, she's not a heinous bad person, and her heart is also made of flesh, but I always feel that she is not a good woman, she is selfish and cold after all. There are some things that I have a hard time putting myself in her shoes.

After pondering for a long time, after all, I still looked at Xia Chuxin, and replied honestly: "Xia Chuxin, I admit that you also have a good side, you have helped me, I will be grateful to my heart, I will not take revenge on you." However, if you say, have I completely let go of the knot in my heart for you, sorry, I can only tell you that I haven't completely let go! ”

My words are sincere, but they are also sharp and ruthless, piercing people's hearts.

Xia Chuxin listened, her face sank significantly, her eyes became obviously gloomy, she naturally heard it, I haven't forgiven her yet, the trauma of the past has caused me too deep, I can't easily forget, my face still has post-traumatic marks, these are also indelible. I can answer her like this, at least it shows that I mean what I said, and I didn't use false words to perfunctory her. But often, the truth is the most hurtful, Xia Chuxin's heart is not an iron wall, and she will hurt if she is poked by me like this.

The huge office became silent, and the atmosphere was a little strange for a moment, Xia Chuxin lowered her head and drank the tea in the cup silently, she hid her emotions, and buried her face in the cup. I couldn't see her eyes, but I knew that there must be a sour feeling in her heart, and she was trying to calm herself.

Time passed silently, and finally, Xia Chuxin raised her head, she looked at me deeply, and forced a smile: "Thank you for answering truthfully!" ”

Xia Chuxin's voice was very steady, and her face had regained its calmness, but her slight smile was obviously bitter. When I saw her like this, I had an indescribable feeling in my heart, as if I was a cruel executioner, and cut off her expectations with my own hands. But, since I have promised her to answer truthfully, then I should say what I should say according to my own heart, although it is a little cruel, but I know that it is the right thing to do!

After listening to her words, I didn't make a fool of myself, and immediately said politely to her: "So now, it's time for you to get down to business, right?" ”

The two of us are being honest with each other now, so I think it's better to be honest and honest, and I can't wait to see what she has to say to me.

When Xia Chuxin heard this, she directly put down the teacup in her hand, and then, she looked at me and went straight to the point: "I know that you want to continue to grow the power of the beggar gang, and finally confront the prosperous world." However, I hope you can grow the development of the beggar gang to Jiangbei and stop! ”

Hearing Xia Chuxin's words, I was instantly unhappy in my heart, she came over on purpose, just to persuade me not to go against Yang Xin? She knew that my determination to take revenge could not be changed, but she still asked me to stop in Jiangbei, she just asked me not to take revenge?

I couldn't help but have a cold face, my eyes also became cold, I looked at Xia Chuxin, and said bluntly: "Xia Chuxin, about revenge, I think I have made it very clear to you in Dali, this is the belief that I live now, and it will never change." What do you mean by letting me stop when I reach Jiangbei now? Could it be that you have just gotten engaged and have not officially passed the door, and you have begun to worry about Yang Xin's safety? ”

Seeing that I suddenly said this, Xia Chuxin was stunned, she looked at me in disbelief, and asked suspiciously, "How do you know about my engagement to him?" ”

I'm not in the mood to explain this to her now, so I answered her angrily: "You don't have to worry about this, you just need to know, I won't agree to what you said!" ”

I thought that I had already made this clear enough in Dali, and I thought that Xia Chuxin listened to my words and at least would not oppose me again. Unexpectedly, she came all the way to persuade me not to work against Yang Xin, which couldn't help but make me suspect that it was because she was engaged to Yang Xin that she came to persuade me. The more I thought about it, the more unjust I felt, and my face became very bad.

Of course, Xia Chuxin saw that my attitude was not harmonious, so she also lowered her face, she looked at me coldly, and said in a firm tone: "Since you already know, then I don't need to hide it from you anymore, I'll tell you directly, Yang Xin has promised me that I will not blame you for your previous grievances with Shengshi, and even promised to let the entire Jiangbei develop for you, as long as you don't interfere with the rest of his territory, he won't trouble you again." ”

Hearing this, my whole person instantly stiffened, and my heart also set off turbulent waves, listening to Xia Chuxin's meaning, was it really guessed correctly by Doctor Xue, Xia Chuxin was engaged to Yang Xin for me? Otherwise, how could Yang Xin release me for no reason, and promised to give me full authority over Jiangbei Province? This is the condition for Xia Chuxin to agree to get engaged to him? Did Xia Chuxin really sacrifice the second half of his life to save my life? And she came thousands of miles to persuade me today, not for Yang Xin's sake, but for me?

Suddenly, my emotions erupted suddenly, my mood became extremely complicated, obviously before, I also promised Xia Chuxin to listen to her persuasion calmly and objectively, and listen to her words without prejudice, but in a blink of an eye, I threw these out of the clouds, as soon as I heard that she asked me to stop in Jiangbei, I thought she was standing on Yang Xin's side. But, in fact, she was silently engaged to Yang Xin for me, and she is now coming to me, also for my good, she is afraid that I will be poisoned by Yang Xin again, and I am afraid that I will waste her hard work in vain. She's always been thinking about me!

At this moment, I felt as if I had lost my voice, I couldn't say a word again, my body was also slumped in the chair, my expression stiffened for a long time, and my mind continued to echo and impact.

When Xia Chuxin saw my appearance, she couldn't help but continue to persuade me: "Su Yan, Yang Xin's power is really far beyond your imagination, no matter what, you can't fight him." I'm not belittling you, I'm just seeking truth from facts, I know that you are different now than before, but there are some things that you can't change if you don't change them, no matter how strong you are, you don't have Yang Xin's kind of background, these are unsurpassable. Now that you have a new identity, you can start over, and you can live like a normal person, why can't you let go of the past and face the reality? Do you still want to repeat the mistakes of the past and let all your beggars help all their brothers to accompany you to their lives again? I really don't want you to be planted in Yang Xin's hands again, when the time comes, no one will be able to save you! ”

I listened carefully to Xia Xinxin's words, this time, I am more sure that Xia Chuxin is thinking about me, what she said is right, no matter how hard I try, I can't have the same white background as Yang Xin, there are some things, I am destined to be unable to compare with him. Xia Chuxin saw this clearly, so he hoped that I could forget the past and hope that I could live well with a new identity. She can't bear to repeat the tragedy, so she would rather use her marriage as a bargaining chip to stop this war.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but take a deep breath, and then, I straightened up, looked at Xia Chuxin, and said solemnly: "I understand your kindness, and I also understand what you said." However, you must also know that I am burdened with the hatred of too many people, and before I take revenge, I am destined not to live with peace of mind like a normal person. I can't get past that level in my heart, and I can't forget the past. Although my current strength is far inferior to Yang Xin, this does not mean that I will just give up! ”

Hearing me express my attitude so resolutely, Xia Chuxin couldn't help but feel a little helpless, she said everything she should have said, but I was still stubborn, which made her not know what to do. She sighed inaudibly, and then, she stared at me tightly, and said slowly, "Is there no other solution to this matter?" ”

I nodded firmly, and said undoubtedly: "Yes, between me and him, we are destined to live only one!" ”

At this moment, Xia Chuxin was completely speechless, and her eyes were completely darkened. She slowly stood up, then looked down at me and sighed, "Okay, I see, in that case, I don't have much more to say!" "Don't do it, don't uncle, don't either.

With that, she turned around and walked towards the door of the office.

I sat in place, looking at the back of Xia Chu's lonely departure, and suddenly there was a strange feeling in my heart, I felt more and more that it was not a taste, and finally, I couldn't help it, before she opened the door, I suddenly spoke, facing her back, and asked cautiously: "Do you like him?" ”