lion

It's not what we thought it would be.

Oh, that's not what I said, it's my alien friend, Michi.

(I forgot to state in advance, I'm not an earthling, I'm from Leon.) )

This quote comes from a paper written by Michi while traveling around the world. On a sudden Wednesday morning, Michi suddenly became interested in lions, and on the television set in front of him, a lion stood on the top of a hill, and countless people below shouted: "Long live the king!" Long live the King! ”

Michi thought quickly in his mind, among all the cats, lions can neither fight alone in the dangerous jungle like tigers, nor can they fly among dense tree trunks like leopards, all they can do is bully zebras in the hot and boring savannah, and all that remains is to walk and walk," ah-" yawned...... Also, isn't the long hair on their faces a bit exaggerated?

So, a huge suspicion came to Michi's heart, and in order to uncover the mystery in his heart, Michi spent three years playing the role of a giant stupid college student and began to study lions. In the end, he finally came to an astonishing conclusion: all of us have been deceived by lions!

Soon, he solemnly posted a post on the university forum, which read:

"Survival is never easy for any kind of creature, and the same is true for lions. Just like a cat has to bow over when it fights, like an ostrich with its wings open when it fights, the ancestors of lions have realized that they should look stronger! In the end, they succeeded quite successfully, looking at the flamboyant mane around their faces, the unnecessary fat they were all over, and the roars that they themselves found unpleasant...... The lions feel more and more happy, and the animals they used to be afraid of are starting to fear themselves! Finally, one day, a lion frightened a group of zebras next to him with an extremely bloody exaggerated eating action, and since then, the lions have been recognized as the king of the grassland, the king of beasts! Power, majesty, power, and bravery have become their symbols! They celebrate this amazing secret with a group dance every day. But, wise earthlings, when you meet a lion on the street, don't you think you should give it a punch?

If it were me, I wouldn't hesitate to punch it!

I know that not many people will take my word for it, and that my doctrine has turned the image of the lion in your mind upside down. But what I want to make is that please think about the predation process of lions: why do such "powerful" animals always cringe and twist when they hunt? One of the important reasons for this is that they have to work together to fence the zebras in the face of much more powerful zebras, and then engage in an hour-long mental intimidation that will wait until any zebra is overly frightened, schizophrenic, and running away with hooves that don't listen to their heads...... Of course, the lions still have to pretend to be bloody and ferocious when they eat to be full of deterrence...... Dear friends of Earth, you may not believe Michi, but you must not believe the eyes of a scientist from the Great Hoof! ”

Unfortunately, the post was blocked shortly after it was posted, and Michi was almost expelled from school for talking nonsense! Of course, if he didn't say that last sentence, his post would have really caught some people's attention.

Luckily, there is one more person on Earth who understands him, and that is Sean, the same scientist from Big Hoof as him. The difference is that Sean is not studying lions, he is more interested in the sign of leo. He found that the constellation of Leo has a wonderful geometric connection with the earth, and if the totem of Leo is converted into an inverse hyperbola using the plane rotation algorithm, then the X-coordinate value of the earth is just the inverse hyperbolic sine value of Leo! In addition, he found that there is a slight chance that Leo's Ethnographic sigil will be imprinted on the body of certain earthlings, and these people will also be the ones who will constantly surprise or panic us.

Yes, Sean feels that he knows Leo well enough, he can easily calculate how friendly every Leo person is to everyone, he knows every little movement of Leo people well, and even, he can accurately describe Leo people's sleeping actions:

When an unprepared Leo Earthlings lie in bed ready for bed, they will initially try to find a comfortable position, until finally stable, they will lean to the right and lean towards the bed, their lower hands will go around their chin and reach their backs, while the upper hands will be placed vertically on their chests just to protect their hearts, their upper legs will be placed behind the heels of the other leg, and the lower legs will be as flat as possible...... Until the end, they put together a perfect Leo totem to commemorate their heroic and great ancestors. Although they don't know that they are commemorating their ancestors. But when this time comes, the old men on the main planet of Leo begin to laugh merrily, intoxicated by the wonderful psychic currents generated by the gathering of many totems...... However, there is no official certification as to whether Sean's account is accurate.

Sean also founded an organization called the Sean'Family Party, which launched an operation called the Human Improvement Project. The purpose of the action is to help improve all defective human races. According to reliable sources, the party's power has grown to Earth; There are more reliable sources that they stayed in a place called "China......

These are two of the best friends I've ever met on Big Hoof.

I really highly recommend everyone to travel to the Big Hoof Star Brigade, because the sky there is so beautiful, and there are thousands of sheep running and flying high in the air every day......

Well, Alex has sunk to the bottom.

Ah, Alex has sunk to the bottom!

What to do? What to do?

It is said that the protagonist of the story generally does not die.

Who said! Why don't we let Alex really die?

Ay? No, I flipped through it, so far, my book is only more than 20,000 words in total, if you switch to a movie, I'm afraid it will only be ten minutes, no, it's too short, it's not enough energy.

So, Alex can't die.

However, I was too slow! Alex has sunk!

You know, as a lion, I have long hair and wings that are afraid of moisture, so I get goosebumps all over my body when I touch water! Alas, Alex, why are you so unlucky? What to do? What to do? I flew anxiously across the water.

Alas, my hero, he drowned!

It's not that I didn't save him, it's that he just ran too fast!

Alas, ladies and gentlemen, go home. Due to my negligence, Alex, the protagonist of this novel, has tragically drowned. Whew- Alex is so pathetic! Alas, what a failure in my life! Let's go back, everyone.

What a failure!

"Hey, Little Flying Lion!"

Suddenly, I heard a familiar, gruff, stupid voice.

When I turned my head, there was nothing on the surface of the sea except a foam board.

What the hell!

Suddenly, the foam board shouted, "Wow, it's Daniel!" I'm Michi! Mi Chi! Michi! ”

I looked at the foam board in amazement and suddenly realized, "Oh! Oh! Mi Chi! A classmate from college - Mi Chi! I looked at the foam board in amazement and said, "Hey, Michi, what are you doing here?" ”

Mi Chi opened his mouth and said, "I'm doing scientific research here. ”

"Hmm, that's a cool job!"

"Hehe, I'm disguised as a foam board to keep an eye on this shark directly below me. Hey man, I made an amazing discovery: sharks are smaller than lions! They heard from other fish that there is an animal called a cat that kills fish without blinking, so they are afraid of cats too! ……”

I felt a little angry, and I said, "Hi, Michi, I read your paper on lions, and I feel that you are deliberately belittling the image of our lion stars?" Lions have always been powerful and invincible! ”

Mi Chi's eyes rolled upwards and said, "Powerful and invincible? Hmph, that's funny, will the water bite you? Of course not, but you're not even afraid of water......"

"Stop! It's ridiculous! Does the fact that the lion star people are afraid of water mean that they are timid? ”

"And you're afraid of phone calls......"

"Uh, this and this ......"

"I'm still afraid of mice."

"Uh, this ......"

"I'm still afraid of the water glass."

"Oh, stop! Okay, okay, let's talk about something else. Alas, you know what, I accidentally killed my protagonist while writing a novel! He's ...... underwater right now."

Mi Chi looked inside: "Oh, I see, is it the one that the shark is biting?" ”

"What?" I was taken aback, "The shark is biting him!" OMG! ”

I was about to cry: "Poor Alex! He's so pathetic! Look how pitiful he is today! Ahh

"Hey, man, stop crying, or let me scare the shark away?"

"Scare away?" I looked at him, "Can you do it?" ”

Mi Chi took out the horn and shouted into the water:

"Meow—"

Suddenly, the shark fled without a trace!

I looked at Mi Chi in extreme surprise: "They are really afraid of cats......"

Michi nodded smugly at me.

I said, "But, but, Alex is dead!" ”

"And he's got tangled in a fishing net......" Michi said sympathetically, "or don't give him my ointment of life!"

I was overjoyed: "What? You have the ointment of life! Why didn't you say it earlier? ”

"I bought it in the orc store, 100 yuan!"

"Is it the kind that can be used three times in a jar?"

"Hmm."

"I didn't think of that! Ah, Michi, you are amazing! Let's get Alex to the rescue! ”

"But, 100 yuan for a vat of medicine! It takes 33 to say less once. 3 yuan, plus transportation expenses, storage fees......"

"50 pieces!"

"Deal!" Michi said happily, "He is now entangled in a fishing net, but the fishing net belongs to that boat." ”

"So we're just going to get to that boat and catch the nets, right?"

"Yes."

"Wow, let's go!" I put Michi under my armpit and flew happily towards the boat.

It was a small fishing boat, floating on the blue sea. Four young men were sitting around the deck playing cards, and an old man was fishing in the stern of the boat.

"Hey, guys!" I greeted the people on the boat, and the crew jumped into the water screaming, and then swam desperately into the distance, leaving only an old man in his 50s sitting in the stern of the boat, fishing, unmoving.

"Hey!" I shouted to the old man.

The old man turned his head to look at me, and then said disdainfully, "Oh, you young people like to dress strangely!" ”

I was glad he didn't run away, so I stood on deck and said to him, "Hello, my name is Daniel and I'm from Lion Star. ”

The old man glared at me and said angrily, "My name is Andrew, and I'm from Tiger Star!" ”

He smiled coldly after saying that, it was obvious that it was a joke.

I was pleasantly surprised and said, "Wow, Tiger Star! Right next to the Lion Star, we're neighbors! ”

"Neighbors?" He muttered, "Oh, that's fun......"

I asked, "Where's the captain?" ”

Andrew pointed to himself and said, "I am." ”

"Great!" I said, "My foamboard friend told me that your nets are entangled in one of my friends, so can you catch them now?" ”

"Foamboard friends?" Andrew's eyebrows are high on one side and lower on the other.

I held up my Michi in my hand to him.

He laughed and coughed: "Hehehe...... Don't tell me that the friend you're trying to save is a jellyfish! ”

"It's not a jellyfish, it's a person!"

"People? Is he dead? ”

"He's dead, but I want to revive him."

Andrew coughed again, and he said, "My father is also dead, and I want to revive him too." ”

"But it's expensive!"

"Expensive?"

"50 bucks!"

Andrew finally couldn't take it anymore and yelled, "Hey, boy, have you had enough?" I'm so busy right now that I don't have time to talk to you! If you're bored, play cards and fish by yourself, I don't have time to spare! And your clothes, ugly to death, don't take them off quickly, be careful of heat stroke! ”

After saying that, Andrew continued to catch his fish, looking very angry.

"Well, he doesn't believe me......" I said to Michi. At first glance, Mi Chi turned out to be in a coma!

"Hi Michi! Wake up, Michi! ”

"Ahhh......h Ah......h Just plugged my nostrils! I'm suffocating! ”

"Oh, I'm sorry! Judging from the current situation, we can only catch the nets ourselves......"

Michi said, "Oh. ”

So I went to the deck and started turning the wheel. By the way, it's called a wheel.

"What are you doing?!" Andrew walked over angrily, "Don't move that net, it's not time yet!" ”

"Old man, we're saving people!" Michi lay on the deck and shouted to Andrew.

"Ahh Andrew saw that there was a foam board talking to him, and immediately screamed and fainted on the deck.

Ah, I'm so tired, after ten minutes of hard work, the guy named Alex finally lay on the deck like a dead fish, still spitting bubbles in his mouth. I started applying ointment to him. Since the scene is a bit miserable, let's avoid it for a while! You know, he was a shark cookie just now!

……

All right! He's going to run out of health! I thought I was going to be a flashman, so I paid Mi Chi 50 yuan, threw Mi Chi into the water, and then flew away myself.

Okay, the camera is back on Alex.

Wow, the ointment works so well! Not only are all the wounds completely healed, but even Ali's clothes are back to new condition! Well, Ari's eyes began to roll.

"Hey, young man, wake up!" Andrew woke up first, and he slapped Alex's face with his big rough hand.

Alex opened his eyes, but the strong sunlight made him uncomfortable, and he looked at the kind, wise, gray-haired old man in front of him and the blue sky behind him.

Andrew said: "Young man, it's great to see you take off the pretense of life, throw away all false words, and welcome you here. ”

Alex looked at Andrew in bewilderment, and suddenly his eyes widened in surprise.

He couldn't wait to say, "Wow, wow, do you know where Brand Kenny and Mary King are?" ”

"Brand Kenny and Mary King?" Andrew asked rhetorically.

"Yes, Brand Kenny is an American man in his forties, with brown hair, a big nose, a tall man, short-sightedness, and a penchant for reading newspapers and playing with lawn mowers...... And Mary King, who is also in her forties, ......"

Andrew, who was confused, interrupted him and said, "Who the hell are you talking about?" ”

"It's my dad and mom."

Andrew angrily said, "Well, your dad and mom, how would I know where they are?!" ”

"No, you must know! On October 12, 2005, they came together! ”

Andrew was lost in thought, and he reminisced vigorously.

"No, no, I don't know ...... these two men," Andrew said, "but why are they here?" ”

"Because they're good people!"

Andrew is going crazy: "What? Good people have to come to me? What kind of logic is this? Alas, are you crazy or am I crazy? I thought you were a smart man, and you let a foam board speak, which really scared me, but now I'm disappointed to find that you haven't come to your senses yet! Alas, what the hell is today! ”

There is no doubt that both men are deeply confused.

What's going on?

Finally, Alex finally asked, puzzled:

"Aren't you God?"