That day, I cried for a long, long time, and in the end I cried without tears, without sound, without consciousness.

For the next few days and nights, I was haunted by nightmares and fell seriously ill. Every day in my mind is the scene of my mother stabbing people with a knife, my dreams are like being haunted by demons, I always feel like someone is holding my neck, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, and then I wake up in pain, and when I wake up, I think of my mother being insulted and my mother stabbed with a knife, and it has been a vicious circle. I can't escape, and I can't break free from this huge shadow.

When I finally regained a trace of consciousness, my heart began to ache again, it hurt very much, I don't know how to describe that feeling, as if there were thousands of emotions blocking my heart at the same time, guilt, despair, loneliness, pain, regret, sadness, fear, desolation...

Since I was a child, I have always lived in a greenhouse, my mother gave me the best living environment, gave me everything, I was used to comfort, I was used to relying on my mother, so when I experienced that terrible thing myself, when my mother left me in that way, my spirit completely collapsed, my world also fell into darkness, and I never got out of this magic barrier.

A few days later, when I finally woke up from the chaos, I realized that the person who had taken care of me in the past few days was Zhang Yi.

Zhang Yi is my mother's assistant and my mother's confidant at work, she followed my mother just after graduating from college, and now she is thirty years old, she still follows my mother wholeheartedly. Maybe because the two have a good personality, they are both cold and strong and hate men, so outside of work, the two are still good sisters. Zhang Yi is also celibate, and has never had a boyfriend since she was thirty years old.

When I saw Zhang Yi, my first reaction was to ask her, "How is my mother?" ”

Zhang Yi saw that I had returned to normal, and immediately became excited, she said to me with some excitement: "You finally woke up, but it scared me, what happened to you, I don't know how to explain it to your mother!" ”

I looked at Zhang Yi in a daze, and asked again: "Please tell me, how is my mother?" ”

Zhang Yi restrained her expression and told me about my mother very seriously. She told me that my mother is still being held in the detention center, and that the four men who kidnapped my mother ended up killing and injuring two, although my mother was originally a victim, but because the consequences were too serious, my mother's nature became excessive defense, but the final punishment result still has to wait for the court's verdict. Zhang Yi said that she had hired the best lawyer for my mother, so I should not worry too much.

How can I not be worried, my mother will not be able to escape from prison this time no matter what, for my sake, she killed someone, she will go to prison, how can I bear this pain!

Again, there are countless emotions that have spread in my heart, and my whole being is wrapped in darkness, this fact is too cruel, I don't want to accept it, I don't want to face it, if all this is just a dream, how nice it would be!

Zhang Yi continued to talk to me, but I didn't listen anymore, and I didn't say anything more, just immersed in endless dark pain.

For a long time after that, I was running away, escaping from reality, escaping from this terrible truth, and I was living in a state of emptiness, losing my soul. I have never been back to the home where the murder occurred, and that home has so horrible memories that I dare not go or face it. Even, I didn't have any contact with anyone again, except for Zhang Yi.

Zhang Yi was specially entrusted by my mother to take care of me, and she did her best to take care of me. She took me to her house and treated me like her own child, except that I didn't take her well, I just kept shrinking into this house and living a life of the walking dead. I don't speak, I never have an expression on my face, and I don't take a step out of the house, like a turtle with a shrunken head, running away in despair, and spending my life in vain.

A month later, my mother's sentence was confirmed, and she was sentenced to ten years in prison, and this result made me collapse again, my expressionless face was once again covered with endless pain, and my heart was constantly filled with guilt and self-blame. I hate myself, blame myself, I hurt my mother, I caused her to be burdened, she could have lived her independent and stable happy life, but now she has to stay in a dark and terrible prison for ten years, this kind of taste, teach her how to bear it!

I can't forgive myself, I can't live a happy life knowing that my mother is suffering, I can't accept the fact that my mother left me, she is gone, my faith has completely collapsed, I have no courage to live, I have no right to be happy. I was in self-isolation, constantly languishing, constantly depressed, I seemed to have become a real vegetative person, just staying in the room every day, not saying a word.

Zhang Yi persuaded me and explained me, but I never heard it, I was stubbornly immersed in a decadent world, and I couldn't extricate myself!

Time is like a plate of sand, passing in a hurry between the fingers, and before I know it, two months have passed. Finally, one day, Zhang Yi couldn't stand it anymore, her patience was exhausted by me, and she rushed into my room almost with overwhelming anger and forcibly pulled me up from the bed.

I was still like a dead body, motionless. Zhang Yi was furious, slapped me in the face directly, and scolded: "This slap, I beat you for your mother, you are too useless, your mother is desperate to protect you, do you repay her like this?" Are you still human? ”

Suddenly, I only felt a burning pain in my face, and my heart felt like I had been pricked by a needle, and it suddenly became very painful. It's just that my eyes were still blank, I looked at Zhang Yi blankly, and said in a dumb voice: "What can I do?" ”

Zhang Yi grabbed my shoulder, shook it twice, and said angrily: "You cheer me up, live well, fight for your mother!" ”

I was a little dizzy by her shaking head, and my heart became more and more bitter, I smiled bitterly and said: "Fight, how can I fight, as long as I don't affect my mother!" ”

Hearing my words, Zhang Yi became even more angry, her eyes were red, she gritted her teeth and shouted angrily at me: "Su Yan, you are a coward, how long do you want to be decadent?" Do you want to be like this for the rest of your life? ”

I took a deep breath, and then said sadly to Zhang Yi: "No, ten years is enough, when my mother comes out, I will be fine!" ”

This is the truest thought in my heart, since my mother is suffering in prison, I have to silence myself to accompany her, my life, there will never be any more laughter, and I don't want to make myself better. Only when my mom is released from prison can I follow her to a new life.

As soon as Zhang Yi heard what I said, she laughed angrily, laughed twice, she returned to seriousness, she looked at me very solemnly, and said word by word: "Listen, Su Yan, I just went to visit your mother today, I told her about your situation, your mother said, if you don't cheer up, if you live up to her expectations, she will never see you, even if she is released from prison, she will not see you!" ”

After listening to Zhang Yi's words, my heart trembled, and my brain seemed to be hit hard by a heavy hammer, I know very well that with my mother's personality, she can do what she says, if I keep sinking, she will really never see me.

Suddenly, I remembered the last thing my mother said to me before leaving, she squeezed my hand so hard and told me to be strong and tough in the future. But what about me, what did I take her words for, not only did I not become strong, but I collapsed, which is simply to live up to my mother's expectations, and waste my mother's dedication to me!

As a son, I didn't pay half a point for my mother, but even caused her to go to prison, but it's like this, I still let my mother worry about me, and I still live up to her hard work, am I still human? How can I only think about myself and not be considerate of my mother? What has happened can't be changed, time can never be turned back, my mother has no regrets to pay for me, she doesn't expect my return, she just wants me to live well in the future, I can't even meet this request?

If cheering up is something I can do for my mom, I have to cheer up, at least, I can't let her worry about me anymore. The reason why my mother ended up so miserably is because of my weakness and incompetence, so from now on, I must not continue to be cowardly, I want to hold my head high and be a man, in the future, I must rely on myself to go on, only strong, only hard, I can live decently.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but be shocked, and my eyes finally returned to clear, I looked at Zhang Yi firmly, and said very seriously: "Aunt Zhang, what else did my mother say?" ”

Zhang Yi also seemed to see the difference in my expression, her expression suddenly became relieved, and then, she shouted a sonorous sentence to me: "Your mother hopes that you will cheer up, study hard, get admitted to a good university, and become a useful talent!" ”

I know this, since I was a child, my mother has pinned her hopes on me, hoping that I will study hard and get ahead, so I will go on according to her wishes. Without hesitation, I said firmly: "Okay, I'll go to school!" ”

When Zhang Yi heard this, her spirit immediately became vibrant, her previous anger dissipated, and the whole person became excited, she said to me happily: "Really? That's great, by the way, Xiaoyan, do you need to change schools? If you need to, I'll put you in touch with the new school! ”

I knew what Zhang Yi meant, she wanted me to get rid of the past, go to a new environment, and study again, but I refused without hesitation: "No need, just the original school!" ”

Where I fell, I got up, and I will no longer flinch or run away. Besides, there's one person I have to meet, she's the one who caused all this, and I'm going to see her again anyway!

Xu Mo, wait for me!

At this moment, all the emotions in my heart were hidden in the depths, and the only thing that filled them was firmness.

Zhang Yi saw that I was resolute, and I didn't say much, she was a resolute person, and on the same day, she started to handle the resumption of school for me.

Two days later, at 1:50 p.m., the sky was cloudless, and the sun was shining and bustling. I wore a peaked cap, a black tracksuit, and red sneakers, and came to the gate of the No. 1 Middle School in the city.

In front of the gate, I stopped for a few seconds, the campus did not change, the people did not change, the people changed, and maybe only my mentality. At this moment, I suddenly remembered that I ran home crying to find my mother when I encountered something before, and such cowardice made me feel sad and ridiculous.

From now on, the sky is falling, and I will be on my own!

With a firm heart, I took a step and walked into the school.

As soon as I arrived at the school building, someone recognized me, and the discussion exploded: "Look, isn't that the son of a murderer?" ”

"Yes, yes, it's him, he's the coward who only calls his mother for help when something happens, and ends up putting his mother in jail!"

"Haha, I really didn't expect that this coward would dare to come to school, his face is really thick!"

"I'm most disgusted with this kind of shit!"

......

As these voices rang out, more and more people gathered around me, pointing at me and scolding.

In the past, because of my tough mother, no one in the school dared to laugh at me blatantly, but now, my mother is in prison, and those people ride on my head one by one as if they have been released, and humiliate me unscrupulously.

My mother's thing is the wound in my heart, the wound has not scabbed, and now it has been re-cut, and it will inevitably hurt. It's just that this pain is nothing, even if I am cut by a thousand knives, I can't cry my nose anymore, all I can do is carry it. So, I just pretended to be okay and continued to walk to my class.

When I walked to the corridor outside the classroom, I realized that the crowd was about to crowd the corridor, especially the familiar classmates in my class, who looked at me with strange eyes like monkeys. I continued to ignore and keep walking, and just as I was about to reach the door of the classroom, a boy suddenly burst out and blocked my way.

I raised my head slightly, looked at the person who came, and found that he was a thorn in the head of my class, named Li Shufeng. This person is a master who bullies the weak and is afraid of the hard, usually likes to show off his power in the class, and regards himself as the boss of the class, since Xu Mo came, he didn't dare to argue with Xu Mo, and immediately became Xu Mo's dog's leg, continued to bully others, and used Xu Mo as a shield to blackmail me a few times, what I hate the most is this kind of despicable villain.

However, he seemed to be very familiar with me today, and as soon as he appeared, he smiled at me all over his face, and patted me on the shoulder and said affectionately: "Classmate Su Yan, you are back, I miss you to death!" I heard that your mother was imprisoned for murder, and you were still there at the time, watching your mother being molested but indifferent, can you tell us about it, I really want to hear it! ”

Seeing his hypocritical smirk, I felt a gunpowder explode in my heart, and with a sudden, I waved off his paw on my shoulder and roared, "Get out! "To find this site, please search for "6 Mao" or enter the URL:.