"Walk through and miss, don't pass by~"

I got into the groove recklessly, making inconsistency jokes.

To tell the truth, two years ago, when the short video software was not completely rich, I almost sold blood because I was poor, so I worked in a live broadcast for a period of time on an online voice chat platform that was not in the stream, and cheated a lunch money, although my understanding of the live broadcast industry is not too deep, but I know a little bit about it.

To do this, you either have special skills, or you can brag.

I don't have any great skills, and bragging is really the best.

"It's braised pork bowl."

I picked up the bowl with one hand, pointed to the pork in the bowl, and bragged: "The food in front of me may come from the distant sea and mountains."

"For thousands of years, food has been moving and changing with people's footsteps, no matter how far the footsteps go, in people's minds, only the taste of hometown is familiar and stubborn, he is like a taste positioning system, one end locks a different place thousands of miles away, and the other end is forever tied to the hometown in the depths of memory." I burst into tears and recited the most popular food program of the year, next to my distant hometown, and the delicious but inseparable nostalgia was close at hand, far away in the sky.

I picked up a piece of braised pork with chopsticks: "This meat is the old sow raised in the rural areas of Northeast China, the meat is fat and fresh, eat it in one bite, it is the big Yangge of the hometown that echoes in the taste buds, it is the hot kang head under the snow in the hometown, it is the old waist bent by the parents of the hometown when the autumn harvest is busy, and it is the bottle of big green sticks that the hometown drinks into the stomach for the New Year, and it is the home is the memory."

"Here, the four seasons have a pair of hands~ a wanderer in a foreign land~ Don't forget the two-pot head of grandpa's house. The more you drink dumplings with wine, the more you eat meat with rice, the more you eat!"

I only ate the braised pork in my mouth after boasting, and I must maintain an unpretentious expression at this time, eat the feeling of homesickness, and express that I am really tasting the food.

"Let's chirp~"

I can't do my best.

The number of viewers in the live broadcast room reached 30.

Someone has already started to send barrages.

"The big brother who started the live broadcast, is he a fellow from the Northeast? Did you die in the Northeast? I'm also in the Northeast, I've been dead for too many years, and I've forgotten what sauerkraut stuffed dumplings taste like, so let's eat sauerkraut stuffed dumplings next time you start broadcasting! I'll give you the money!"

The first barrage is particularly harmonious, without too much sarcasm, and it also reveals that these viewers don't know that I am a living person.

"Don't you chirp when you eat, is it still called eating? How do you become a mukbang? ”

The second barrage, at a glance, you know that it is full of food and provoking trouble.

"Eat it, it's so old that I want to be reincarnated."

The third barrage is cute at the end of the conversation with a crying Minion emoji.

"it!"

I saw this third barrage, it was really panicked, people Yama Wangye risked the cold to play routines, I don't want you to be reincarnated, if I give you all the reincarnation, I don't need to kill me with my mother, Yama directly draws a stroke in the book of life and death. In the cool night, I miss the river, and properly drop Songdong Er's cremation and death.

"This rice ......"

The barrage sent by the audience affects the anchor's mood the most, more and more viewers, more and more gossip barrage comments, so that I can't speak a little, and the next routine is also folded.

"This rice ......"

My head was buzzing, and I repeated the opening sentence in a cold sweat.

"I can't talk and start a live broadcast!"

"Down! Broadcast down!"

"It's really boring, it's hard to eat, don't look at it! Lao Tzu wants to be reincarnated!"

"Substitution! Substitution!"

"Lord Hades fools the little ghost! Don't take ghosts as ghosts!"

rhythmic, swearing, swearing, brainless requests for substitutions, filled the barrage in the live broadcast room, as if I faced the so-called online violence, and my mood was even more sluggish.

"What to do...... What to do......"

I stiffened my movements, my eyes searching for the visual range, hoping that something would come out of nowhere.

"Huh? What is this box for? ”

I muttered to myself in a daze, put down the dishes and chopsticks, picked up the black box, no longer paid attention to the barrage, and turned the black box in my hand.

Touching the material, it should be golden silk nanmu, and it is especially like a miniature version of the land temple, and when I lift it twice, it seems that the box contains something, which is a little heavy.

Wait...... Wait a minute!

Isn't this a photo of my ID card taken when I was 16 years old? Why did it become black and white? Why is it in the box?

Don't...... Is this Nima an urn?

Crouch...... it!

I put down the urn in disbelief, then lifted the lid.

What caught my eye was a pile of white fine particles without large bone slag, like ashes, but it didn't look particularly like it on a closer look.

I realized in an instant, like grasping the hope of how to sow it.

"Come!"

I buckled the lid, clapped my hands on the broken jar, and shamelessly rushed the side with the black and white photo to the live camera on my phone.

"Have you all watched?"

I put my left hand on the lid, pointed to the camera with my right hand, and said viciously with wide eyes, "Do you see clearly?" This is my urn, this is my first time on the air, and I don't know anything, so I want to play a big game for you! Let everyone know what real bibimbap is!"

"Awesome!"

“666!”

"If you eat it, I'll give you a gift!"

"Are the ashes really fake? Where did you get it? ”

"Is this really picking up your own grave?"

……

The barrage covered half of the live broadcast room, and the number of ghosts broke through: 101.

"ZBC, Thunder Gaba! The self-produced and self-sold bone ashes are so high, you see that I am really unreal, and it will be over!" I used my thumb and forefinger to draw a 5 cm length, and then the lid of the box flew off the lid with a clatter, symbolizing my determination.

I grabbed the spoon and quickly pulled out a spoonful of ashes from the urn, then poured it on the surface of the rice bowl, and shouted hoarsely to the camera: "Ladies and gentlemen! You guys hold my Zhao cannon, today I eat ashes bibimbap, next time I play hearse drifting, and next time I will show you a show on your own grave, you see that I am not awesome and it will be over! ”

"Awesome!"

"Awesome!"

"Bragging!"

……

There are still miscellaneous fish in the barrage, which shows that the atmosphere is not in place.

I know very well that during the live broadcast, there is no BGM for the occasion, and the atmosphere will be a little worse, so it's just a death horizontal, just look through it from the tablet, and sure enough, there is software to play music.

"Senrifa, I want to take you to Karma, in this Mori Ye Bar, then him is really Karma!"

Less-than-standard Cantonese songs were played in the live broadcast room, and the sound quality was excellent, with no noise at all, which was perfect for setting off the atmosphere.

I shouted like a rabies attack until I broke out: "Irons! Double-tap the screen to light up the attention! The barrage is all commented on 666! The Artillery Army is established at this moment!"

"A cloud-piercing arrow! Thousands of troops are here to meet! Gift brushes up!"

I fought with the broken gong voice that I would have to eat tomorrow, and set off the atmosphere over and over again with the rhythm of the music, and added three spoonfuls of ashes to the rice bowl, mixing the ashes evenly like a wind and clouds, and sticking every grain of rice.

"One!"

"Two!"

"Three!"

"Second battalion commander! Where's your fucking Zhao cannon!"

My eyes were bleeding, I gritted my teeth and stomped my feet, took out a large spoonful of rice, and put it into my mouth without hesitation, chewing it slowly. After waiting for it to be gone, I deliberately opened my mouth to the camera, so that the audience could see that I was really swallowing, not vomiting!

Number of ghosts: 203.

The local tyrant entered and swiped three rockets worth 1000 banknotes in a row, with brilliant special effects that shone on the entire tablet screen.

I don't know much about the currency conversion rate between the underworld and the yang.

But I know the fear conversion rate! I earned 30 fear points all of a sudden, although I was tired, but it was worth it!

"Brothers and sisters! Use your rich little hands to give the cannon a little attention!"