His eyes were always so calm, there were no waves at all, not even a ripple. Well, he clearly doesn't like himself that much.

Or maybe he's a multiplicity person. Some men, instead of liking women, like men.

Butterflies really have such an illusion.

She had read her father's autobiography, which contained a chapter about her father's blue-faced partner, a young man from another city, who had a close relationship with his father, and the intimacy of that kind of soul mate even exceeded his relationship with his wife. Butterfly still saw the novel and suddenly realized that her father still had such a paragraph, cough cough, very wild experience.

So she sometimes has to think about whether Zhuang Yousheng next to her will also be such a number one person.

However, Butterfly is not taboo or disgusted with these, and she will not mind that this state of pseudo-marriage continues. On the contrary, if Zhuang Yousheng is generous and frank with herself, she will be very considerate. Perhaps, it could be more comfortable.

However, she really didn't have the courage to ask him. But these are not the key, the key is that getting along with him will not make Butterfly stressed, Butterfly does not have to face him deliberately, and he will not ask Butterfly to do many things that she can't do.

On the contrary, all the stress of butterflies' life since they got married has come from the kite.

He clings to the butterfly's body like an possessed body, and even his soul cannot be relaxed.

Maybe since he was a child, he felt that his mother didn't care about him very much, so he became very sensitive and anxious, and always seemed to be worried that the butterfly would suddenly stop wanting him one day.

Because he was worried about this day, he seemed very well-behaved, and he was afraid that there would be something that would make his mother unhappy and dislike him. He strives to do his best no matter what he does, and he tries to paint well every time he paints, and if he gets Zhuang Yousheng's praise, he will show her the painting in front of the butterfly, but the butterfly always looks at it casually, and then says, go, stop the kite, where is my mother busy.

Often, the little kite would hold the painting and stand there for a long time looking at the figure of the butterfly, and he didn't know how to get his mother's praise.

Butterfly felt that it was just a painting, there was nothing to praise, and besides, she never thought that he could paint anything famous, she felt that he only had to spend his life ordinary, and did not have much hope or desire for him.

The kite is like a huge magnet, eager to hold on to the butterfly, but the more it does, the more the butterfly wants to push away the traction. She longed for freedom all her life, but the kite had locked her up like a shackle for all these years, so that she had to imprison herself.

Deep down, she still longs for an unfettered life, which does not include the kite.

Part of the reason for the rejection of the kite is because she feels unspeakably uncomfortable as long as she thinks of the diving bird, and this child comes a little suddenly and helplessly. Although she has her own rash and reckless consequences, it is precisely because of this sense of guilt that she feels that giving birth to a kite is like a kind of atonement or that she deserves to be self-inflicted.

Atonement or shame, and therefore incomparably heavy and self-sinful.

Now that he is six years old, no matter how you look at it, his eyebrows and eyes are full of the charm of a diving bird, and his smile and smile are even more like. Looking at him from time to time, it seems that the diving bird is standing in front of him alive, talking to himself.

She couldn't tell the worry in her heart.

He was a sensitive child, of course he could feel his mother's heart, and he was trying to get rid of him and fly to a distant place, he was very frightened, very vulnerable, and subconsciously he wanted to hold his mother's hand firmly.

Sometimes I would wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, hold the hand of the butterfly, and say in a crying tone: Mom, I dreamed that you don't want me, you won't want me, right?

The butterfly looked at the pretty little face in surprise and said incomprehensibly: What nonsense? Mommy won't want you. Sleep! Isn't Mom right around? Must have been a nightmare. Don't be afraid!

Although he comforted the kite like this, he felt inexplicably sad in his heart, an indescribable sadness like losing his soul.

For Butterfly, the repressive feeling of being imprisoned has been greatly relieved since she went to kindergarten, because she doesn't have to guard the kite every moment of the day, and she finally has her own time and space, which is a full few hours.

She doesn't have to worry about his crying suddenly coming from the upstairs room, or the hoarse cry that calls her mother, and she doesn't have to worry about her little tail following wherever she goes, or staring at the butterfly's every move with a pair of clear little eyes, what does the butterfly do, he will ask curiously: Mom, why is this?

Not to mention the fact that he had an accident: he hit his forehead, fell down the stairs, or was stabbed with a sharp object in the garden...... All kinds of worries and uneasiness, you have to have eyes all over you, and wherever he runs, your eyes have to follow there.

Thinking of those past years, as long as she cried when she stopped kites, she was simply trembling, in fact, she was much better than other children, and it was not endless crying, but even so, the butterfly already felt that she was about to collapse.

After sending off their father and son every day, she felt that she could be quiet, then cleaned up the dining table, turned on the computer, and started working.

Walking down the hill, the terrain is a little gentler. Zhuang Yousheng said: If you weren't a reporter, we wouldn't know each other. Fortunately, you chose to be a journalist and did not become a teacher, otherwise we would never have met in this life.

The butterfly chewed on his words, and it tasted very good.

Butterfly hummed and said: I wouldn't choose to be a teacher, but when I came out of college, I really didn't know what kind of work I should do, and every day I just ran around the recruitment market, threw resumes everywhere, and even interviewed several companies that applied for salespeople.

Zhuang Yousheng said calmly: You are not suitable to be a salesman.

Butterfly was a little unconvinced, she felt that she was not a salesperson because she didn't like that kind of work, not because she was not suitable. Since she came into contact with ace salesmen like Fan Fan, she has become even more reluctant to this job. She didn't want to become like Fan Fan.

She didn't refute, she was silent.

Zhuang Yousheng said: My brother and sister-in-law are both in business, and you have seen them, and they are not the same kind of people as us. Don't say you're not suitable, and I'm not suitable. My sister-in-law is an absolutely powerful woman, and my brother's business acumen is not as good as hers. Today, the company is getting bigger and bigger, and it has expanded to Germany and Europe. It's rare to see them now, and you've been negotiating business in Europe this year. Several times on the phone, I said that I wanted to ask you out for a meal, but I always couldn't find the time.