Lecture 1 - Relationship Maintenance (Time Expenditure and Management)

No ink, dry goods.

First of all, I would like to tell you a concept that can be used not only to maintain feelings - the theory of maximizing the value of personal time.

The so-called personal time value maximization theory can be understood as how much time you use in exchange for other people's time, and how well your time is earned.

Five-star annotation: The feelings between people, to put it bluntly, are governed by satisfaction, and after excluding the influence of hormones (dopamine, etc.), nine out of nine cases, as long as your time benefit is greater than the expenditure, you will report the feeling of "satisfaction" to that thing (or person), and ensuring high satisfaction of both parties has become the real password to maintain the relationship between you and your man/woman.

So the question is, what is time budgeting?

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Here I will give you a simple example of net loss versus net gain – your boyfriend/girlfriend helped you with a massage for an hour.

During the hour, the other party is in a net loss and you are in a net gain.

As a result, your satisfaction increases, while your man/woman goes down even if he or she doesn't say it.

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The above example is easy to understand, right? But that's just the simplest one-way win-loss pattern.

What we are more exposed to in our daily lives is actually a win-win model.

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Another example - a triple-A game may take a top team of 100 people 300 days to craft, but players will mostly need less than 100 hours to enjoy it.

In the above example, in terms of individual players, his time is greater than "expenses", after all, it only took 100 hours to hedge the work time of hundreds of people for two years - 300*8-100, and made a lot of satisfaction worth 2300 hours.

But if we look at it from the perspective of the R&D team, an individual involved in the development of a game that has spent 2,400 hours making a game only needs more than 2,400 players to clear the game to offset the cost of his previous time expenditure, and each additional player after that will increase his time revenue by 1 hour.

If the game had sold millions of copies, his net time income would have reached a staggering 999,760 hours — roughly the equivalent of 114 years of satisfaction earned by blood.

The above principle applies to almost all entertainment works, good works are a win-win situation, and bad works are a lose-lose situation - good works can achieve the ultimate win-win, and the greater the satisfaction brought to both parties, the more it can enhance the impact and reputation of the work.

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In short, humans are selfish animals after all, and everything we do is to earn the time of others to gain satisfaction.

It's just that the successful will choose an efficient win-win way to get satisfaction, while the stupid person will choose an inefficient win-win way to get satisfaction, and that's it.

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Okay, I'm sure you've thoroughly understood the theory I wrote earlier, so let's move on to today's topic:

How can I use time management to maintain my relationship with my partner?

- The answer is actually very simple, in the life of your partner, try to choose to do more win-win activities, not single-win activities.

Win-win categories include, but are not limited to: kissing, exercising, finding common hobbies, chatting about happy topics that interest the other party, and taking a moment to give the other person a common and long-lasting gift (such as razors, game consoles, underwear, high-end jewelry, etc.).

Win-win categories include: letting the other person do the laundry and washing the dishes (so the washer/dishwasher is really important), having the other person wait downstairs, chatting about topics that the other person is not interested in, complaining about their own unhappiness, etc.

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The above content is the experience of poor iron, please think carefully and then implement it in combination with your own actual situation.

Dialectical understanding is much better than rote memorization or disdain, I hope your emotional path can be smoother because of this little lesson of mine, good luck!

PS: This is the first lecture of "Lu's Spring and Autumn" promised to you, and I will try to update one of the more than 30 lectures every week in the readership, and students in need can join the group and wait for updates.

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