Xu should have wanted to scold me, she has endured it, first, she is a dignified and decent lady, and then maybe she remembers that I once took care of her, although it was just a gesture, but she should not be such an ungrateful person.

When I saw her today, I saw her dressed in plain manuscripts, and I was very sad. Look at my eyes, they are also full of hatred. I paused a little puzzled, and then continued to walk forward, she stood straight, and when I got to her, she didn't salute me, and I didn't want to bother with her, and the two of us stood face to face, and she clicked on the lacquered wooden box at hand.

The black red lacquer box is a very good box, the opening of the box is made of copper locks, I look at the lock on it, it has become smooth because of the friction, it seems that this lock has been some years.

"What is this?" Raised her head and looked at Xu Yuan'er.

"This is what he told you before he left." She reached out and tried to open the box, but her hand hung down halfway through, "This is for you, I won't touch it." ”

With that, she turned and left the room, and I looked at the closed door and reached out to open the box.

There was a letter in the box, and after I picked it up, I saw that there was a jade hairpin broken in half, a sachet that had only been embroidered on one side, only a word was written, a plum blossom that had dried up, a handkerchief...

It's all mine, this jade hairpin, the one I dropped in the back garden of King Yu's mansion when the two of us met for the first time.

This half-embroidered sachet was his birthday one year, and I was going to give him a birthday present, but my hands were too clumsy, so I only made half of it, and his birthday arrived. I said you should wear it first and make it up for you next year, but I didn't do it.

The plum blossom and half of the words written, there was a heavy snow in Jinling, when we went to the cage mountain to enjoy the plum blossoms, we met a group of readers who were there to set up a poetry club, I thought for a long time, only wrote a rhyme.

Then I turned over the page, and on the other side was Rong Tan's handwriting, and he wrote the next rhyme of the poem.

And this handkerchief, I thought about it for a long time before I remembered, it was one year, I suddenly had a whim, when I went to his house to find him, I left it in the house, and the next day we were married, I don't like this handkerchief very much, and then look at this handkerchief, embroidered with lilac May snow. May snow is a kind of tung flower, most of them are white, but only on the back mountain outside the palace of King Yu, there is a large area of lilac May snow, when I am in the eastern capital, I have to go over to see it every spring. Those days were really good days, and they were all days that I will never forget in my life.

I put the items I took out into the box one by one, which is clearly a box of memories between us. Finally I opened the letter, and when I saw the first few words, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.

"Yun'e I love, it's the first time I've called you like this, and it's the first time I've let myself be so presumptuous, but I know this is the last time. Yun'e, don't cry, I've suffered too much, and now it's a relief. Or maybe because the first half of my life was too smooth, that's why I lost my love and died early. I remember that in the letter you wrote to me, there was such a sentence, you told me to take care of myself and look ahead and live. I've been thinking about this sentence, but I haven't lived up to a single word in it. Every day, I endure the severe pain of losing you, and I can't look ahead, and in the end, I still can't accept another person. Yun'e, I think writing your name is a great happiness, but for me, this happiness needs to be restrained, not excessive, and insurmountable. Yun'e, have you had a smooth life in this life? This is the first thing that comes to mind when I realize that I can't stay with you for a long time, that is, I want you to be safe and smooth in this life, and now I can't ask you personally, so I want you to ask yourself, you have me and Your Majesty in this life, so far, or until you close your eyes, is it still going well? If you think it's okay, then I should be dead and blind. Yun'e, when you came to see me that day, you were very angry, angry that Your Majesty treated me like this, and angry that Your Majesty treated you like this, but every word you said was Your Majesty, and every expression of your anger was angry with Your Majesty. You didn't even give me a long look. So I diverted the topic and deliberately angered you, but I found that you were not angry, and you were more relieved. Well, you have been snatched by His Majesty, and you should have been snatched by him before we met. I remember, it was in the Fairy Building, a total of four crab roe lion heads, the little crab roe on the top of the head was all given to you, in the future, I have always looked forward to it, there will always be the best things around you and in front of you. But I have overlooked one point, and that is that the person who gave you this is not me, but Your Majesty. Indeed, he gave you the best with all his might. Yun'e, when I wrote this, I really couldn't hold back my sadness. Because I found out that you didn't really love me at all. I'm just trapped in my own wishful thinking, and somehow become a stumbling block between you. That year, there was a wind in the mountains, blowing your long hair, and flowers and leaves passed through your hair, and you were like a fairy among the flowers. That year, there was snow in the mountains, and you were dressed in a goose-yellow coat, and there were large red plums on your head, like a fairy in the snow. Sometimes you just need to be in the yard, skirt fluttering around in the clearing, and your laughter is like heaven. It's a pity, you fairy, you can't be in my yard. I'm gone, there is wind and snow in the mountains, and there is fog in the forest, but with your laughter, and that little bit of memory that supports my life, I am indeed able to close my eyes. Yun'e, if there is an afterlife, we don't want to meet again, maybe there are regrets, but I realized that even in the next life, you still want to be with him, so I won't come to be your hindrance. Rongtan"

The door was opened again, and Xu Shi heard my crying, and couldn't hold back his emotions anymore, so he rushed in, "Didn't he tell you not to cry?" You don't have him in your heart, why are you crying? Aren't you against your will? You've taken advantage of him all your life, are you still going to fake here? Chai Yun'e, you are really a disgusting woman! ”

I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to stop crying, at least not in front of this woman, I regarded her as an enemy all my life, and I didn't want to be embarrassed in front of her, thinking that he was the same. But I couldn't do it, the cry was still not as I thought, it came out of my mouth, and the tears had already soaked the paper in my hand, "How can you understand?" You, how can you accuse us! ”

"He is my husband, and you are also the wife of His Majesty. It's because you frequently look back at other men, it's because he refuses to move forward even a step. That's how you're going to end up now. None of you will let go of yourself, so one of you deserves to be buried in the soil, and the other is full of guilt and does not know how to make amends. ”

"Xu Yuan'er, I think you're crazy. He is your husband, and he can be regarded as benevolent and righteous to you, you look at the entire Jinling City to see, which lady of a family has such a day as you? He has never taken a concubine in his life, takes care of you, loves his children, and is looking at your current resentment, what are you not satisfied with? He's done well enough. "I think I can say this because he really gave the best care to Xu and his three children.

"What do I want an empty shell for? He was indeed a good father, a good man, and even a good husband. But you didn't see the coldness in his eyes, and you must have felt that you were very qualified to say that he did the best, and that he did the best to you. But for me, every moment he was by my side was a torture for me, a sarcasm for me as a woman. Chai Yun'e, I don't lose to you in everything, why did you get Your Majesty's love and my husband's support, and you are still here ignorant and pretending to cry pitifully? Get out, get out of my house! Look at this box, when the fire first started, he had already climbed out, but when he got to the door, he turned back to bring this box out. He has lived by this box all his life, the day you got married, your birthday, the day you saw him for the first time, yours, all the days related to him, I remember it clearly, because this is the fixed day when he opened this box. Chai Yun'e, you, you robbed my husband, and you haven't given him happiness yet. I can let you snatch him away, but as a human being, at the very least, you can't let someone who is good to you leave like this. He has all kinds of regrets in his heart, he, he is indeed a good man, but I would rather never get involved in your affairs, and I hope that I came earlier, so that he will not be so sloppy and miserable in this life. ”

Xu Yuan'er has always been a gentle and silent person, but now her cheeks are red, angry and sad, and she can't get out of her previous emotions.

I picked up the box a little frustratedly and left. I don't have any face, in front of her, it is indeed as she said, as the murderer who harmed Rong Tan's life, I am not even qualified to cry, but I have no way to digest this sad emotion, and I can only cry all the way.

It was at this time. I bumped into the crescent moon head-on, and I realized that I was a little panicked and lost in the backyard.

The new moon grabbed me very embarrassed, took me to her room, poured me a cup of fragrant flower tea for me, I cried groggy, my mouth was dry, I took a sip, but I felt that the original cold heart, a little heat again.

"Mother, are you feeling better?" She looked at me and stopped her tears and asked me with a faint smile.

I looked at him, and finally couldn't hold back, and asked her about that. The question I've always wanted to know is, "My son, is there any deserving of you?" ”

She was stunned for a moment when she heard this, and then regained her faint smile, "Niangniang, I only learned today that you, aunt, uncle, and uncle have stories." So I want to ask you, do you think your uncle snatched you over, did he do the right thing? ”

"If he hadn't done this, would he have been like this?" Although I can't judge right or wrong, I still blame him from my heart, blame him for turning the situation like this, blame him for indirectly, and even directly kill Rong Tan.

"But from your uncle's point of view, if you were an uncle, do you think he was doing the right thing?"

I didn't speak, just listened to her continue, "If I were an uncle, I love someone deeply, not to mention that person is already someone else's fiancée, even if his heart is already someone else's, I will snatch her over." But His Royal Highness the Crown Prince gave up directly. I said I didn't want to give up, but he didn't think, why didn't I want to? It's hard to guess my thoughts, but if he were like Your Majesty, would I stay by his side now, like you? You also know that I have His Royal Highness in my heart, so if he doesn't make it to the second majesty, I will naturally not become the second mother. ”

"It's really retribution." Speaking of this, I smiled, "Your Majesty robbed your uncle's woman, your uncle's son, and robbed the woman Your Majesty's son likes." Crescent, you really are an awkward person. ”

"If you're with someone you don't love, it's torture for both parties. It's better not to be with this person you don't love in the first place. But people who love in their hearts, even if there is no way to be together, they have tried their best. His Royal Highness the Crown Prince didn't think of a solution, and neither did Niangniang. So those who really work hard, even if they don't have the heart and guard an empty shell, they can live this life. ”

"The Queen Mother always praises you for being a smart girl, I think you are very stupid, very stupid." With that, I stood up, reached out and touched Xinyue's hair, "Prince, I can't figure it out, I can't figure it out, he may not be worthy of you." ”

I returned to the palace, this box I held all the way, found a place to put it up, and finally I closed the cabinet, although this memory is precious, but it is indeed dusty.

The crescent moon has a saying that is very true, even if you guard an empty shell, you can live a lifetime.

I have to live my life.

When I learned of Zhao'er's death, I was lying on the bed, although I had fainted, I was still dreaming like a marquee, dreaming of his childhood, my own childhood, dreaming of my mother gently touching my hair, I touched Zhao'er's hair, that's it, I still have to live.

Your Majesty, Zhao'er, Rong Tan, my brother, my mother, and even the Queen Mother and Xu Yuan'er all appeared in my dreams. My life seems to be too long, so I think so, my life should also be a dream, but this damn cicada always makes me sleep uncomfortably.