I don't know how long I slept, and I don't even know if I'm asleep. The scene of lightning and thunder was always in front of me, the sea was churning and the waves were rushing towards the shore one after another, and the wind carried the cold rain to the bone. There were many corpses of people on the shore, and Yao Chan knew that they were dead, and many people were drowned and their bodies were here. Whose eyes are these? Yao Chan's consciousness was vague, but everything in front of him was clear, and this was not what he saw. It's like the legendary hell of Ahbi, where there is death and no life.

The eyes turned to the sea, the lightning disappeared, the wind stopped, and everything fell silent. He could only hear his own heartbeat, he hated the sound, every beat filled him with hatred, he hated why he was alive. Is there anyone else in the sea? Who is he waiting for? Who does he love when he hates himself?

Step by step into the sea, my eyes blurry and clear. The sea water rushed into his eyes, and he saw a golden light...

Yaocan woke up and stared at the ceiling in a daze, that dream was so strange, the scene he saw in the dream was so real. He covered his chest with his hands, the feeling in his dreams, the feeling of hating himself, was it himself?

Yao Can turned his head to see the light overflowing from under the door of Gong Ni's room, the warm pale yellow light swept away the haze of the dream, and there was a faint smile on the corner of his mouth. Outside the window was a black sky, and the lights of the city rushed into the sky to dye the sky with a faint glow, and no stars could be seen. The lights in Gong Ni's room went out, and Yao Chan remembered his grandfather. When he was a child, his grandfather would take him to pick up small shells on the beach, and also told him that the god of the sea had a necklace made of shells, but if the necklace was broken, whoever picked up the necklace shell of the god of the sea could make a wish, and the god of the sea would definitely help him realize his wish. Yao Chan picked up many, many shells, he didn't know which one belonged to the sea god, but he really wanted to make a wish, hoping to see 'grandpa' in his lifetime, and he hadn't thanked him properly to grow up with his father in those lonely days after he went to sea. He had never felt anything like this, and for the first time he felt the weight of home. The little haven behind him seemed to disappear overnight, and there were things he had to face.

I thought that my father's strong sideburns had already grown gray hair, and he was no longer young, and he began to age. The weight of this family should have been carried by himself a long time ago, but he was selfish and lived freely outside. Yao Chan silently wiped away her tears in the dark, Gong Ni popped a clam bubble, and Yao Chan felt funny and warm when she saw the clam swimming hard.

Gong Ni heard Yao Chan sobbing in the room. He is a slow-burning person, insensitive to parting, and will only explode when he realizes that his feelings will explode. Yao Chan is a gentle child, and gentle children don't like separation, but most of the memories are separation.

Two years ago, Yao Chan was a resident doctor in the Department of Surgery, and Yao Chan was called a 'genius doctor' when he was in school, and if he wasn't the first among his classmates, he would feel abnormal. When Yao Chan was interning, he could follow the doctor directly into the operating room without queuing, and the other students were watching the teaching system to learn and he could assist in the operating room. Everyone believes that Yaocan's career must be golden and bright, and the future is limitless, but no one could have imagined that the current Yaocan will not be able to enter the operating room.

How did it happen, Yao Chan still feels like a nightmare. But it is very difficult for man to remember dreams, whether good or bad, so it is not a dream because he wants to forget it, but he can't forget it anyway.

Yao Chan remembers that it was early autumn, and the weather was so good that people couldn't help but laugh. The sky is high and the wind is clear, the air smells of the sea damp, and the whole city is moist and refreshing. The operation came suddenly in the afternoon, and it seemed like he had been waiting for it all morning, and Yao Chan only saw one patient who had fallen and injured his ribs, which had pierced his lungs. He can almost perform such an operation, and the word talent is vividly expressed in Yao Can's body. Sometimes he could even hear the sound of blood running in his veins, a gift from heaven for a surgeon like that, and the operation went so smoothly that it was perfect, with every knife being flawless. It was such a beautiful day.

After eating at noon, the weather changed, Yao Chan looked at the gloomy weather, thinking that it was still sunny when he went out in the morning, and the windows at home were not closed, and if it rained, the things by the window would be wet.

The sound of the ambulance whistling was so harsh for some reason, and now that I think it was God's foreshadowing, I felt that the sound stinged my eardrums for the first time. The child was wearing a denim jacket covered in blood, and when Yao Chan saw him, the whole coat was stained with red blood.

His mother grabbed Yao Chan's hand and begged him to save her baby. This is a child who was hit by falling glass from a high altitude, and he was supposed to go to elementary school tomorrow. Yao Chan often imagines him carrying his schoolbag to school in the sun, running on the playground, and living him......

A piece of glass pierced his neck, and from the wound it didn't hurt the major artery, he just needed to take out the glass and stitch the wound up. Simple surgical disposition...... Yao Chan wondered why he had come to such a conclusion: 'simple surgical treatment'. Was it because the morning surgery went too well? Or is it because the windows are not closed...

Before entering the operating room, Yao Chan glanced at the children's families, young parents and their parents gathered at the door. This surgery should be very short. What can you do in 30 minutes? You can read a few pages of a book, you can swipe a few Tik Tok, you can listen to a few favorite songs, and you can save a child's life...... But Yao Chan missed, and the child died before he could finish stitching up the wound.

Sudden drop in blood pressure and cardiac arrest...... Thinking about the situation now, Yao Can still can't help but tremble. The heart-rending wails of the child's mother echoed in his ears for a long time, and the pain was endless. He didn't hide when the child's father lifted the chair and threw it at him, because he wanted to feel the pain to see if he was dreaming. The pain hit, and Yao Chan's tears flowed out, and he really hoped it was a dream......

The final conclusion of this matter is that it was an accident, and no one has anything to do with it. The child was born with superior vena cava stenosis, and a glass debris entered the blood vessel and punctured the narrowed blood vessel, causing excessive blood loss and death, which is less than 1 in 10 million. Since then, God has taken back the gift from heaven, and he can no longer hear the sound of blood flowing, nor can he hold a scalpel, as long as he touches the cold hilt, his hand will tremble, and he will not be able to get off the knife.

Later, they were transferred to the emergency department, ostensibly because they insisted on their own treatment plan, but in fact, the hospital gave him a step so that he would not be saddled with a reputation for being transferred due to medical malpractice.

How good is a dream, how good is a dream...... Every time I think of Yao Can, I hope it was just a dream, no one died, no one cried, no one resented him.