She lay down on the cold hospital bed tiredly, and her forehead was gently pressed against Ye Lingchuan.

"Lingchuan, do you know," she stroked his hair gently, like a kind mother who tells bedtime stories to her children,

"Many years ago, I was as weak and timid as you, and I was often bullied badly, so when we first met, I hated you so much. For I often see in you my own shadow, the shadow that disgusts me, and desperately tries to erase it. ”

"But then I found out that you and I are different, even completely opposite. Because your weakness is full of warmth and cleanliness, and mine is nothing but meanness. That's why I hate myself when I'm weak, but I like you when you're weak. You who smile warmly and say that you want to be my family, you who cry for me in the heavy rain, you who take me away from the cold snail house, who stubbornly say that you like me, who carry me home on a snowy Christmas Eve, who stubbornly say that you want to accompany me through all the streets I walked alone, but who happily shed tears like a fool because of an ugly scarf. I like these different you so much, I like it so much that I forgot to promise to change you in the month...... Under the fireworks, what I said was sincere, I like Ye Lingchuan, I like it so much, if you can, I hope you will never change. I will always be by your side to protect you, and I will never let you lose the warmth that is more precious than anyone else, and I will not let you become cold and hard like me. ”。

"But...... I can't be with you anymore," she couldn't help but sob, her shoulders trembling helplessly,

"I can't let you know about the locomotive, I can't make you miserable, so I can only leave you, even if it's by making you hate me, at least to make you strong...... But I failed. Lingchuan, do you know, my biggest failure is not that I didn't change you in the end, but that I didn't even change myself until the end. I used to think that I had completely changed, that I had become strong, that I had become cold, that nothing in the world could hurt me anymore, that I was strong enough to protect everyone. But I was wrong, maybe you didn't realize it, after the death of the moon I was completely confused, I was very confused, I was scared, I was full of fear of the world again like four years ago. I was pained to find that I had been deceiving myself under the protection of the moon all these years. I lied to myself, to Yue, and to you. I lied to you that I had become indestructible, because you believed in me, and that is why I have fallen into such a miserable situation. It was my lies that killed Tsuki, and it was my lies that hurt you......"