I'm not sad.

But I'm not really happy either.

During the day I can smile and joke with others.

But sometimes, when I'm alone at night, I don't understand how I feel.

I'm fine, I think so.

Jiang Qian, I really think so.

Since when this began, he doesn't know.

Perhaps, it was the time when I sat at the head of the bed and smoked, from one o'clock in the afternoon to five o'clock in the evening, the cigarette butts on the ground, the dry and painful throat, and the state of not knowing what I was thinking.

Perhaps, it was those few times, I couldn't sleep with insomnia at night, but I was sleepy during the day, even if I slept for more than 20 hours, it was still not enough, it was the day when the night was reversed.

Perhaps, he had no hunger at all, and looked at his favorite kung pao chicken rice bowl, but after only one bite, he threw it all away, feeling full. Even at the end of the day, I only ate that bite of food, appetite.

In short, it's like an ordinary day, a step-by-step day, and an uninvited guest arrives.

It came in a hurry, it came quickly, but it changed a lot unconsciously.

Without Guan Fang Zhetong disagreeing, Jiang Qian began to talk to himself.

"Actually, my original job was to do finance in Shencheng. Traders, you know what? ”

"Clients trust me and they put money into their accounts, and we help them generate revenue. But, it seems, I'm too unlucky. ”

"In the early days of telemarketing and insurance, salesmen could get a large number of orders and commissions by flickering, exaggerating revenues, and exaggerating the content of insurance. And by the time I did this, I had already passed the stage of flickering, the regulations were very strict, the phone was recorded, and the income could not be deceived, but I went, and that's it. ”

"Then I turned into a trader, but the funny thing is that the peak of the bull market, after that, turned into a bear market, and the market fell below."

"The money invested by the customer is losing money every day, and I called to apologize, but they comforted me in turn, saying Xiaojiang, it's okay, it's normal to make and lose money on investment. Can you imagine that feeling? It was clear that I had caused them to lose money, but they comforted me in turn. ”

"Later, I changed careers again, and there was nothing I could do about the two industries that were sluggish. Then I was introduced by a colleague and came into contact with another kind of investment, what to do crude oil, asphalt trading, but I did it for half a month before I found out, it was a deceptive thing! ”

Jiang Qian picked up the teacup in front of him and drank it all, as if what he was drinking was not tea, but wine, and sorrow.

Fang Zhe listened quietly, full of vigilance, because he found that although the room was very bright, even if it was close to dusk, the light was still sufficient, but there was always a coldness in the room, as if something was drilling into his pores.

The person in front of him is unusual.

After drinking two cups of tea, both of them were drunk in one go, Jiang Qian continued: "I'll give it to you, tell me another story, my friend's." ”

Fang Zhe tilted his head slightly: "I'm not here to listen to the story. ”

"But my current profession is a writer, and all I have is stories, and the people I have to wait for have not yet come."

"If you want to do something to me, feel free, I don't have any ability, I can't resist at all, and I don't intend to resist."

Jiang Qian leaned back on the sofa, his eyes were as plain as water, and he didn't have any panic.

Fang Zhe cocked his legs and leaned forward slightly: "But you have influenced others, your next-door neighbor, my classmate, it is because of you that you climbed to the top floor of the school after the exam today and wanted to commit suicide." ”

"Is this to blame? Did I force her to jump off the building? Jiang Qian let out a shameful laugh, feeling a little inexplicable.

He continued to retort: "The biggest collapse of adults is not the emotional outburst under heavy pressure, but the outburst of bruises all over the body but still losing to reality. Do you really think that just by my words, grain will kill himself? ”

"Her father, who was unusually strict with her, called her a waste, and didn't care about her every move, the father and daughter would quarrel every once in a while. Plum grains have tended to get out of control. ”

Jiang Qian, that's right, Li Lili's father doesn't know whether he is patriarchal or plays the role of a strict father, and his step by step makes his daughter breathless at all.

Once, Li Lili went out to play with her classmates and came home at nine o'clock in the evening, which was not particularly late, but her father stood outside the door and then gave Li Lili a slap, saying how to teach such a shameless daughter.

Another time, Li Lili's mock test score was better than before, and as soon as she got home, she reported the good news to her father, but she got a lukewarm sentence, "Just this point, how can I have such a wasteful daughter as you?" ”

As a person out of control, as a neighbor, Jiang Qian could feel that Li Lili's emotions were very abnormal, and the magnetic field bands around her were becoming more and more violent and distorted.

Fang Zhe couldn't perceive this, because in a sense, he was not a runaway person, unless it was Xia Ran's personality, he could sense the magnetic field band about the runaway.

"So, you deliberately approached her, and then played up this depression for her, so that she couldn't think about it?"

After Fang Zhe raised his questions, he immediately spoke out and denied himself.

"No, the problem is not in the words you say, it should be that people who are close to you will be infected by your emotions and have the same depressive thoughts. You are like a virus, a source of infection, but anyone who comes close to you will be infected. ”

After saying this, Fang Zhe stared at the other party closely, hesitating whether to call out Xia Ran.

"The source of infection? This adjective seems to be very apt. ”

Jiang Qian smiled, he felt that what the other party said was not wrong at all.

The songs in the master bedroom, still playing, have been looping in singles.

During this period, Jiang Qian changed the teacup with a new tea brew, and re-boiled the pot of hot water by the way.

Fang Zhe's eyes narrowed slightly, and he asked tentatively: "Similar to Li Lili's situation, it shouldn't be the first time you have done it, as the first-level investigator of the Processing Bureau, I need to ask you, how many times have you done this, and how many people have you harmed." ”

He's not threatening, he's not being compassionate, saying anything righteous.

He was just weighing whether he wanted to call Xia Ran or not, after all, he didn't know anything about the specific situation of the other party now.

And the other party mentioned that he was still waiting for someone, Fang Zhe intuitively thought that that person was known to him, so he didn't dare to make a move easily.

After all, once Xia Ran was called out, there would only be one more corpse in the house.

In case there is an oolong, the other party is your own person, it will be so fun.

Yang Haixin is in Licheng City, and there are people who are out of control who dare to be so blatantly presumptuous, except for Liu Liang before, it seems that I have never heard of anyone else.

Therefore, Jiang Qian and the others should be from the processing bureau.

Hearing the other party's righteous words, Jiang Qian smiled disdainfully and asked rhetorically, "Do you remember how many pieces of bread you have eaten?" ”

The implication is that he has done this countless times.

Fang Zhe thought about it carefully: "It's about eight pieces, I can't remember it clearly when I was a child, but I ate eight pieces when I grew up." I rarely eat bread. ”

“。。。”

Jiang Qian scratched his cheek with his fingers to ease the embarrassment: "I'm just a metaphor, no matter what you want to do next, I hope you can finish listening to my friend's story, okay?" ”

Fang Zhe was puzzled: "Why do you always want me to listen to stories, your friend's story is about my?" ”

"Because the person I'm waiting for hasn't come yet, don't tell stories to pass the time, I'm afraid you can't help but do it to me, I think you seem to hate me."

"Be confident, get rid of the seems."

"Hehe, let's hear me tell the story first."

Jiang Qian poured the hot water that had already been boiled into the tea cup, and then poured out the first tea soup of Tieguanyin. Then use tweezers to pour out Fang Zhe's cup of tea soup that had already been cold, and add a cup of hot one.

Fang Zhe looked at the other party's smooth operation, as well as the steaming teacup, smelling the fresh fragrance of tea, he still didn't pick up the teacup, and he didn't even bother to kowtow this time.

"When the tea is cold, it won't taste good." Jiang Qian stretched out his hand and pointed to the teacup.

"I'm afraid that the tea is poisonous, so if you want to tell a story, hurry up." Fang Zhe shook his head and continued to lean on the sofa, settling in a big man's sitting posture.

Jiang Qian smiled helplessly, and had no choice but to tell the story of his friend.

"I have very few friends, very few, maybe I'm special, and the people who come into contact with me don't end well."

As soon as he said this, Fang Zhe had the idea of leaving this room.

"Don't worry, I mean, long contact."

After Jiang Qian finished explaining, he continued.

"I had a good friend before, and you should have friends like this, like everyone will."

"The two of us, from chatting until two o'clock in the morning, to chatting for two hours a day, to only chatting for two minutes a day, to 'a week ago', to New Year's greetings, to no longer contact."

"Later, this friend, who was two years younger than me, heard that he had passed away."

"I'm quite sad, I didn't expect that the last sentence of fun with him really became the last sentence."

"Then, I decided to go and visit his grave, he is a person who loves to play games, and he also loves to eat KFC fried chicken legs, so I went to the paper shop and bought several notebooks of paper paste, and real fried chicken legs."

"Bright fake flowers wrap around the entire tombstone, and in the photo, he is still smiling, and there is only a short text on the tombstone, which is not at all different from other neat epitaphs around."

"I'm curious to see what this friend with an interesting soul will write."

"And when I looked closer, it was, 'Ask for a resurrection armor.'" ”

"I thought it was funny, but I wanted to laugh but didn't dare to take a picture, and it happened that the paper-based notebook was very light, and it accidentally slipped into the paper-burning bowl in front of the tomb, and the ashes were scattered all over the ground."

"I was a little embarrassed, and immediately stretched out my hand to clean it, but I accidentally saw a line of small characters engraved in the lower right corner of the stele."

"If not, forget it."