Many readers find it a little incredible after seeing the testimonials of the previous days.

Some readers even make up that I am a knowledgeable, near-perfect person. Some people even thought that I was a person with strong self-confidence, but they didn't expect that I was a person with extremely low self-esteem.

In the more than 30 years since I was born to today, the people who have been with me day and night in reality have been extremely disgusted with me.

The degree is about ten times that the heroine of "Fanghua" has been excluded. Then you can show it.

More than 95% of the people I get along with in elementary school, middle school, university, or workplace hate me. Even my parents, just because I was their child, would have hated me very much if not.

I remember seeing a news article last year about a child who was scolded for getting out of the car and jumping off the bridge after his mother drove to an overpass. I felt the same way at the time, because I was like this, about a kilometer or so, and half an hour's journey home could scold me all the way home. Of course, I couldn't have committed suicide, but I could completely understand the child's feelings.

Of course, I was treated like this, and I was indeed to blame. When I was a student, my emotional intelligence was ridiculously low, and I did many things that I would be speechless to think about now, and as a result, I was ostracized and subjected to physical and verbal violence. And although I didn't have any subjective malice to others, but unconsciously, indirectly verbally offended countless people, the stupidest thing is that I actually took the initiative to hit the same table report. So I hate school violence in my bones, and people who haven't experienced school violence don't know how painful it is.

Another foolish aspect of my work is that I never know how to do things flexibly, I can only do a fixed routine work, and once the work needs to change, it is always too late to react. In addition, I didn't know how to observe my surroundings at one time, and I was even indifferent to the things around me, so many people couldn't understand why I didn't know anything related to my profession.

Another reason is that I myself have a very serious body odor (you see it's the same as the heroine of Fanghua again), you can make up for the rejection of He Xiaoping on this issue in the movie. Even if you clean your body and change your clothes, sometimes it will smell after a day. At the same time, I also have severe allergic rhinitis, which causes me to sniff and blow my nose for a long time. Combined, these two causes are seen as a mobile bacterial reservoir of abomination. My colleague said it was like hell to be in the same place as me.

However, because ordinary work does not care about other things other than one's work, and the work procedure is too rigid, it will always make mistakes when the work process changes, resulting in a high frequency of mistakes. So in the office, as in the student days, I was hated by my leaders and colleagues, and I was seen as an imbecile who was incompetent at work.

When I watched "Fanghua", I thought that many of He Xiaoping's behaviors were actually wrong, but was it too painful to be ostracized by such a collective? She finally refused the honor of being able to dance on stage, in addition to Liu Feng's affairs, is it a kind of self-exile that completely gave up and then got a good evaluation from others (the heroine's solo dance clip deleted from the movie is really a pity, I recommend everyone to take a look)?

I guess if my leaders and colleagues read my article, what would they say, the heroine of Fanghua was compared to me, it was simply insulting. Well, definitely.

I don't have any subjective malice, but it still hurts others.

People in the workplace hated me to the point where they wished I hadn't been born at all.

My mother's first child was a daughter, and she lost her sister for her studies, and she took a lot of tonic medicine to give birth to me, so she conceived me. So I often think that if my mother gave birth to a daughter, maybe she would be a child who is as loved by everyone as my mother, and she will not be like me, who has never been positively evaluated by anyone since birth.

I'm really reflecting on my past, and then I really want to stop being so disgusted, but it's really not an easy thing to do. My rhinitis and odor are often difficult to control, and even if I want to do a good job, I tend to be too used to the stereotypical work routine and frequent mistakes. It's really painful to want to do a good job but can't do it well anyway.

Many people may say, "My writing is very good." But a lot of book lovers who meet me a little more often in reality will eventually leave me. Positive reviews that can only be built in a virtual network are like a flash in the pan for me.

I only have two thoughts now, and I want to transform myself in my work and life, so that I can no longer be hated by others.

At the same time, I hope that I can become a great god, don't look at everyone calling me a big god, I don't even have a boutique book, and the top 20 of the suspense 24-hour best-selling list can't be ranked, what kind of god is it?

I'm not a big god.

I'm just a loser in life.

But I want to win, I really want to win...... I don't want my life to be wasted like this. I'm thirty years old, and I don't want the day I die of old age and the people who come to my memorial service will still talk from time to time about how I used to be an anomaly that they hated......