In my dream, I saw a man covered in water weeds coming out of the water, and he was standing in front of my house and calling me son.

I walked out of the room and opened the door, unable to see the man's face clearly.

"Don't be afraid of my son, it's me." The man said.

I opened my mouth, speechless for a moment, and the man continued: "I heard from your mother that you are about to get married, so I prepared some bride price, which is considered some of my father's intentions. ”

Seeing that I hadn't spoken, the man sighed and said, "Dad knows that you studied hard when you were a child, and you ran to the edge of the reservoir to cry several times, I heard it, I didn't expect you to grow so big, you must have suffered a lot of grievances during my absence, right?" ”

The man said, reaching out to touch my face, and I couldn't help but take a small step back, and the man saw this, and the movement stopped, and he sighed.

I couldn't stop crying, and I woke up from my sleep.

I don't know if the person in the dream is my father, his face is hidden in the darkness I can't see clearly, I vaguely remember the father in my memory of a tall and burly man, he could lift me up with one hand, put me above my head, let me ride a big horse, and would run away those behemoths that had cast a huge shadow on my childhood when the yellow dogs and geese of the village chased me.

But then one day, when he and his grandfather went fishing in a large reservoir, they fell into the water and drowned.

Grandpa blamed himself, mother cried bitterly, father's water nature has always been excellent, but as the old saying goes, those who drown are water-savvy, and in such a situation, you can only blame your father for his bad life.

At that time, I was only three years old, and I was just old enough to run and jump, so I asked my mother where my father had gone, and my mother said that my father had gone out to earn money to support us

When I was playing with my friends in the village, someone told me that my father was dead, and I asked what it was, and they said that if they died, they would never come back.

I said you fart, my father went out to make money, and he will come back when he earns money.

A group of friends coaxed, saying that my father was dead, maybe the fatherless child always made others feel good to bully, so after the beating, they intentionally or unintentionally rejected me, once someone brought out boiled chestnuts from the house, and gave them to everyone, but they didn't give it to me, even if I later specifically lied to my mother, asking her to fry peanuts and jelly beans, and then brought them to please those people, and after those people ate something, they would also exclude me the next day.

So from then on, I rarely played with the people in the village, pestering my second uncle all day long to ask him to take me to play, my second uncle was an adolescent at that time, and he definitely didn't want to take me with him, so he often took me out in front of my mother, and then left me at the back of the village and ran away on his own.

So although I was born in the countryside, I didn't actually have a good time, and the security at that time was not very good, not to mention that I grew up in the mountains, and the villages would often mingle in groups of three or five, and gangs would be formed between the villages.

Don't think that the gang groups of schoolchildren will make you feel funny, stabbing someone to death is really like having fun.

At that time, my grandfather began to teach me martial arts, and I could be put down after three or five beats to my peers, and the senior people couldn't beat me, but it was precisely because of this that more people came to provoke me, and sometimes I didn't dare to go home and tell my mother when I was beaten.

Later, in a large-scale brawl at school, two children were stabbed to death in our village, and my mother was scared and asked me not to fight with others in the future, that is, from then on, my mother began to accuse my grandfather, and said several times that my grandfather was not, and asked him not to teach me to practice martial arts.

I'm a stubborn person, it's impossible not to fight back when I'm beaten, one or two don't dare to mess with me, every time I provoke a group of three or five, a group of ten, I'm young, and it's impossible to practice the palm of the gods, win when you're single-handed, as long as you fight a group battle, you will definitely be beaten half to death.

Fortunately, I studied well at that time, and I was the first in every exam, plus I was the class leader, and my personality was not the kind of cowardly girl, and I was definitely not the one who was bullied the most.

Later, Lu Da'an's cinema opened, and a movie of Hong Kong's Troubled Boy was released, and students who had not seen it were blocked at the door of the cinema all day long to watch, and only a few bosses of the school were qualified to stand by the window.

Many people worshipped, formed gangs, and tattooed themselves with knives and steel needles dipped in blue ink.

The school was very chaotic, the teacher couldn't control it during class, and I basically twisted the Rubik's Cube under the desk after finishing my homework, and I didn't go out after class.

So I was admitted to the high school and university in the city, and after being exposed to the ideas of the outside world, I was very glad that I was able to survive in such a poor place.

Over the years, every time I think of my father, I will feel uncomfortable, from the beginning of missing, to the later grievances, to hate, I hate why my father didn't come out to protect me when I needed him the most, so that I had to learn to swallow my anger, and then I got used to seeing the prosperity in the city and the pit and deception in society, when I thought of my father, I was no longer so excited, just a little sad.

For about ten years, I never dreamed of my father again.

But this time, I dreamed of my father.

When I woke up the next morning, my mother mysteriously told me that she had dreamed of my father last night, and that it was the fish that my father had sent to our family's fish pond.

I wondered to myself that my mother and I were dreaming of my father at the same time, and that we heard the same thing in our dreams.

My mother said that when I went to burn paper for my father a few days ago, I said at my father's grave that my father's grave was standing by the water, and his body was never found after his death.

I didn't tell my mother that I also dreamed of my father, I told Xiaobai about this, Xiaobai is also strange, because spirits and demons are born with the ability to dream, Xiaobai said, if I and my mother have the same dream at the same time, it is very likely that my father is dreaming.

But what makes me strange is that my father has been dead for twenty years, and his soul should have gone down to the underworld and reincarnated a long time ago.

After my mother cooked the meal, I brought some food to my grandfather, who had been taking good care of the second uncle in the past few months, hoping that he would wake up.

Thinking about my grandfather, he is also pitiful, watching my father fall into the river and drown, and watching the second uncle like this, he is a lonely old man I actually understand very well, so I will turn a blind eye to the situation of him raising the second uncle like this, but I see that the second uncle's whole body muscles are aging and atrophiing seriously, and I don't know if he still has brain activity.

"Grandpa, that, I dreamed of my dad last night." I hesitated.

"Hmm." Grandpa answered, squatting on the edge of the bed and eating slowly.

"My mother seems to have dreamed of it too, and she said the same thing in the dream." I said.

Grandpa's movements suddenly froze, his face changed slightly, he looked at me and asked, "What did your father say?" ”

"I didn't say anything, maybe I went to his grave a while ago to burn paper and said that I was going to get married, so I came up from the underworld to see our mother, and he said that the fish that jumped into my fish pond in the reservoir was the bride price he gave me."

"Your dad did it...... What else did he say? ”

"I didn't say anything else...... I thought he'd come to you too. ”

"What did he come to me for?"

"Naturally, I want to tell you, I don't blame you for what happened back then." I watched my grandfather staring at the second uncle on the bed thoughtfully, and called out: "Grandpa? ”

"What's wrong?" Grandpa looked back and asked.

"I mean, after so many years, you should let go of what you should have let go, Dad won't blame you, you don't have to blame yourself." I said.

"Hmm." Grandpa got up and walked out the door as he spoke, saying, "I still have something to go." ”

"Oh." I answered, and when I saw the second uncle's old hand exposed, I stuffed his hand into the quilt, but when I was holding the second uncle's hand, the second uncle's hand suddenly grabbed me.

"What are you doing, come out quickly, don't disturb your second uncle." Grandpa said.

"Oh, got it." I turned around and went out the door, and my grandfather locked the door and locked it when he went out.

Grandpa usually goes alone, at home has always locked the door, and never forgot to lock the door when he goes out, my mother and I want to see the second uncle several times can't see, can only look through the window gap, but the second uncle looks too scary now, my mother and I don't dare to look at it anymore, for fear of nightmares at night, the last time I saw it was two months ago.

When my grandfather went out, he also had the key with him, and I saw him walking towards the big reservoir and the ancestral cemetery of Zhangjiagou, so I pretended to go home.

When I was almost at the door, my grandfather had already walked a long way out of the village, and I returned with a suspicious look on my face, and looked at my second uncle through the window of the hall, for I had just felt my second uncle's hand squeeze me.

I squinted and leaned on the crack of the window to look at the second uncle on the bed, the shadow blocked the light on the second uncle's face, he tilted his head and opened his eyes suddenly.

I was taken aback by the second uncle, his eyes were slightly frightened, his mouth was open, and he seemed to be saying two words:

"Help me"?

I grabbed the bottom of the window and jerked the wooden frame that had fallen into disrepair upward, and the bolt in the window fell off, and I climbed in through the window.

"Second uncle, when did you wake up?" I asked, confused.

"I'm awake all the time." The second uncle's voice was old and hoarse, and his voice was very dry, as if he was about to speak.

I hurriedly went to pour a glass of water and put my arm around his neck to feed him some water.

The second uncle coughed a few times, gasped for breath, and whispered, "Before I tell you this secret, the second uncle has to ask you for something." ”

"What's the matter?"

"Kill me."