"Hey, I have to go back to school soon, I really don't want to go back!" Gu Xinyuan lay on his bed and sighed bitterly.

Today is Sunday, and it's the third day since I got home, and Gu Xinyuan has to pack up his things again and prepare the things he will use when he goes back to school.

In fact, the day after she arrived home, her excitement passed, because her grandmother and grandfather were busy peeling corn kernels all day, and her younger brother was crazy outside all day, and the family was not as lively as the school at all, which could be said to be extremely boring! However, after having lunch on Sunday, her mood always becomes very strange immediately, and she keeps thinking about "leaving soon" in her head, and her heart is as uncomfortable as motion sickness, and she always feels flustered and even has a feeling of wanting to cry and can't cry, which is really painful!

She took out the workbook and read two questions, and suddenly felt that she couldn't calm down; Turn on the TV and watch TV, and I think none of them look good; Lie down in bed and sleep, and I'm afraid that I will fall asleep all at once and delay the departure time...... In the end, she had to sigh in pain, staring at the clock and waiting, anyway, if she didn't delay it anymore, she would never set off. Because of this, she was sometimes scolded by her grandmother for delaying too much, so every time she went back to school, it was basically dark.

"Xinyuan, your phone!" Li Feicui received a call, and as soon as she heard that it was a girl's voice, she hurriedly called her granddaughter to come over and answer the phone.

"Okay, here!" Gu Xinyuan quickly ran to the phone and asked her grandmother in a low voice, "Who?" ”

"It's a girl's voice, I don't know who it is! Give you a call! ”

"Hello?" Gu Xinyuan took the phone, "Hello-"

"Heart! Uh-hmm—" Gu Xiaoxian's crying voice came.

"What's wrong?"

"I, actually, forget it, I'll tell you at school! Can you come to school early? ”

"Where are you now? You're not already in school, are you? ”

"Yes! I'm at school, actually, I've been in school since the morning! ”

"Oh well! I'll leave later, okay? ”

"Well, okay, then I'll hang up! See you at school! ”

Gu Xinyuan hung up the phone, sighed a little helplessly, it seems that there is no time left at home, she walked back to her room dejectedly, lay on the quilt and took a deep breath, and said to herself: "I feel like I can't do anything in this time, just lie down on the bed?" Why don't you read a book and maybe get the question right? No, no! Let's watch TV, it's hard enough at school, I should relax myself! But...... Alas, I don't know what Xiaoxian wants to tell me? Forget it, I'd better go back to school! ”

She picked up her things, said hello to Li Feicui, and rode off on her somewhat worn bicycle......

As soon as Gu Xinyuan arrived at the dormitory, she was told by her roommate that Gu Xiaoxian had come to look for her several times, so she threw her backpack on the bed and hurried to find Gu Xiaoxian.

"You're here!" Gu Xinyuan found Gu Xiaoxian in the corner of the playground, and the poor girl was squatting in the corner of the wall and lying motionless on her knees. If everyone's ability to bear pain has a degree, then Gu Xiaoxian's pain at this time has overflowed.

"Heart! Woo woo, why is it so late? When Gu Xiaoxian heard the voice, he immediately raised his head, and his eyes, which had been red and swollen for a long time, were filled with tears again, "Slow death!" ”

"Hey, why are you crying like this?" Gu Xinyuan sighed helplessly: "What happened, you see that you are not crying beautifully?" ”

"I-I," Gu Xiaoxian said as she sobbed, "I had a fight with my mother—"

"Hey, I thought something was wrong?" Gu Xinyuan's shoulders relaxed suddenly, he breathed a sigh of relief, and said angrily, "What's this, I sometimes quarrel with my grandmother!" ”

Gu Xiaoxian held her head, stared at the ground with a painful expression, and said helplessly and weakly: "My mother is peeking at my diary again!" She always does! I wonder why she can't respect me? Ay! I can't stand her anymore! ”

"Huh? Peeking into the diary?! ”

"You know, she peeked at my diary, and she looked like she was right, saying that she just wanted to know what was going on in my heart, and she didn't mean anything malicious! It's just put-"

"Xiaoxian, calm down......"

Gu Xiaoxian immediately stopped talking, bit his lower lip fiercely and calmed down for a few seconds, glanced at Gu Xinyuan angrily and aggrievedly, and said in a low voice: "Oops, I'm so angry!" ”

"Don't be angry, Xiaoxian, maybe she really wants to get to know you!"

"That's impossible! Hey..."Gu Xiaoxian said with a sad expression: "If you really want to understand me, you can communicate with me directly!" I waited for her to talk to me every time I got home, but she would rather be in front of the TV all day than talk to me. I think she just thinks I'm a troublesome guy and doesn't want to waste time on me! Hehe, I have to say, peeking into the diary is really the fastest way to know what is going on in someone else's heart......"

"Xiaoxian..."Gu Xinyuan looked at Gu Xiaoxian with a sad expression, and touched his forehead with some embarrassment, "Although I really want to comfort you, I haven't lived with my mother since I was a child, so I don't have a position to say anything... Well, I'm sorry..."

"Fool!" Gu Xiaoxian glanced at Gu Xinyuan, then closed her eyes in pain, swallowed a few mouthfuls of saliva with difficulty, and then said: "Before Sisi committed suicide, my mother went to look for her, how much this incident hit Sisi and how much it helped her death, I don't know and don't dare to think!" I don't understand, why doesn't my mother have any sympathy for Sisi? Sisi she really just doesn't understand, really! Why look at her with such dirty thoughts? You said in the heart, Sisi should be the condemned party because she doesn't know how to reject the bad guys? ”

"I don't know..."Gu Xinyuan lowered her head, thinking about this question seriously, her stomach was churning with discomfort, she didn't know how to answer her friend, because she didn't refuse that disgusting man herself.

"Even Sisi's own parents think she is a shame, and my mother even said that she is not worthy of sympathy for her own suffering, if she is still here, I don't know how many people will say how many ugly things will be said......"

Gu Xinyuan held back the tears in his eyes, and whispered in a trembling voice: "People are terrible, this is no way!" ”

"My mother, she," Gu Xiaoxian interrupted Gu Xinyuan's words again, smiled miserably, and said desperately: "She said, 'If you have to divide who is wrong, the party that takes the initiative to seduce others will also pay eighty percent of the responsibility!'" 'Hehehe, Xinyuan, you say, if this happened to me, would my mother also say about me like Sisi? ”

"Don't say that, fairy, she's your mother!"

"What about Mom? Is it a mother who can be a former person and a later person? Is it that mothers can expect their children to grow up obediently and honestly without giving love? Can a mother casually invade her children's privacy? Is it a mother who can insult her children's friends casually? She didn't know how much pain I felt in my heart, she didn't understand how cruel she had done! ”

"Doesn't others often say, 'Hitting is kissing and scolding is love', maybe she said these words for the sake of your reputation? Maybe she was just confused for a moment to say such ugly things? ”

"Affection and love? Oh, why do I only feel pain? Gu Xiaoxian looked at Gu Xinyuan with tears in her eyes, poked hard at the position of her left chest, and questioned sadly: "Xinyuan, why does her affection and love make me hurt so much here?" ”

"I don't know, and I don't understand...... But adults often say that everything they do is for our good. Maybe it's because we're still young, so we can't understand the deep love of adults, maybe we'll understand when we grow up...... I don't know, but I've often heard people say, 'You'll understand when you have a baby,' and maybe one day when we get married, we'll understand......"

"If this is the kind of love that grows up, I'd rather never grow up again for the rest of my life, and just be a child forever...... Besides, I don't want to get married at all, I'm so afraid that I'll become a mother like my mother! Gu Xiaoxian's sad expression suddenly cracked into a resentful smile, and he gritted his teeth and said: "Xinyuan, my heart can't help but want to hate my mother, as long as I don't have to be her daughter, I don't even think it's ...... to fall into hell."

"Xiaoxian, you-" Gu Xinyuan took a step back a little frightened, but looking at the poor girl who was still crying alone in the corner, her heart softened, she clenched her fist hard, took two steps forward, closed her eyes and hugged Gu Xiaoxian violently, and said softly: "Don't be afraid, Xiaoxian, I will always be by your side!" ”

Gu Xiaoxian looked at the girl in front of her who was a little shorter than herself with some distraction, feeling the warmth from her, and suddenly felt that her originally dark heart was suddenly illuminated, she hugged her friend's slender back and nodded with a smile, "Hmm!" Thank you. ”

The two of them hugged each other quietly like that, and said a lot of intimate words until it was dark, and they had dinner together, and then they went back to their dormitories separately.

After finishing the evening self-study in a daze, Gu Xinyuan staggered back to the dormitory like a lost soul, washed up casually, and then got into the bed and slept under the quilt.

At night, she had a dream, dreaming that a man dressed in black clothes and wearing a black scarf and hat suddenly turned into an ugly and disgusting old man, the old man grinned with that disgusting lips and stuffed a snake into her mouth, she tried desperately to shout but couldn't make any sound, she could only watch the disgusting worm burrow into her body, but, under the terrifying and terrible entanglement, she was horrified to find that her body actually had a trace of uncontrollable itchy pleasure...

Disgusting, dirty, slutty, shameless!

After waking up, Gu Xinyuan sat on the bed in horror and at a loss, listening to the even breathing of his roommates who were still asleep, listening to the sound of the cold wind whirring outside the window, gritting his lower teeth in shame, silently shedding tears, and constantly blaming himself in his heart for why he had such a disgusting dream, and why did he feel a trace of happiness in this cheap dream?

Sitting on the bed for a long time, she bit her lower lip fiercely, pinched her arm in fear, and firmly told herself: You must not have hysteria, let alone talk in your dreams, if someone else finds out this secret, she will die...