"Ah Xin is back, wash your hands and eat!" "Mom, I took the first place in the class in the final exam this time!" In the haze, the mother's cry in the depths of my memory was so familiar and strange.

"My son was awesome! Dad takes you to swim on the weekend! "My father always regarded himself as the pride of his life, but Chen Xin no longer remembered when his father no longer praised him.

"Dad, I want to buy an astronomical telescope, I promise I can get four A's at the end of this semester!" When I was a child, I always longed for the sky, what was my ideal at that time? Astronomer? Cosmonaut? At that time, everyone seemed to think about the same.

"Son, you have to take care of yourself when you're alone, socialize more with your classmates at school, and tell me if you don't have enough money." I was admitted to college, and for the first time in my life, I left home, and my father, who was already with two temples, stuffed a bank card into Chen Xin's pocket.

"Hello, I'm also from this dormitory, and everyone will be a brother in the dormitory in the future." Chen Xin couldn't remember who was in the dormitory, but it should be the eldest brother, right? The eldest is always taking care of other people.

"Ah Xin, look at that senior sister, it's so sassy! Don't rob me, I'm going to chase her as a girlfriend! "Senior sister? Chen Xin was very impressed by her, he didn't rob his brother, but his brother still fell out of love.

"Whoever goes to the cafeteria to get food, help me bring one! Hurry up, hurry up! A point back defense! "A group of shirtless boys in the dormitory were playing games, and there weren't even many notebooks at that time, so what were you playing? It seems to be still CS.

"Lights out, don't message your girlfriend!" Someone outside the door was checking on the bed, and Chen Xindu almost forgot that they were not allowed to turn on the lights after ten o'clock in the evening in their university.

"Senior, do you have a girlfriend? Can I be your girlfriend if not? "This is the first school girl to confess to herself? Since his sophomore year, Chen Xin has been in charge of welcoming new students every year, and he is relatively handsome, so he can't remember how many students he confessed to him.

"Senior Brother Xiao Chen, do you want to form a club with Senior Sister?" Which senior sister is this? Why don't you remember it anymore?

"Let's sing together! Celebrate the founding of our new community! "When did I form a club?

"What's that song to sing? I can play the piano accompaniment, and it just so happens that there is a piano here. "A senior sister who can play the piano? Why can't I remember?

"Will you play that song "The End of the World"? That song was very popular a few years ago. "Why did I choose this song? Shouldn't everyone sing a more festive song to celebrate the founding of the new club together?

"The song adapted from 'Song of Bamboo'? I will, I studied the original Japanese. The senior sister sat down in front of the piano, and the bright music sounded.

However, the strange thing is that the senior sister sings the Japanese version, while Chen Xin sings the Chinese version himself.

However, the two songs use the same tune and the melody is the same, so even if the lyrics are different, Chen Xin and the senior sister who plays the piano still cooperate very well.

Just as the two were singing together, the sound of the alarm clock suddenly sounded, breaking the harmony.

Chen Xin woke up.

Reaching out and grabbing the mobile phone on the bedside table, turning off the alarm clock, Chen Xin sat up from the bed.

The newly installed ground source heat pump has begun to work, and the temperature in the shelter has risen again at this moment, it is not so cold compared to the previous few days, and Chen Xin does not have to huddle in the quilt and do a big ideological struggle to get up every day.

However, although the person woke up, the memories that emerged from the dream made Chen Xin feel melancholy, and he was still immersed in those memories.

The bits and pieces of living with my parents when I was a child, the friendships I had with classmates, brothers, and friends at school when I grew up, and the people I fell in love with in my life......

Memories are beautiful, but they are also heavy.

However, what Chen Xin cares about the most is not only his parents, but also the senior sister who sang with him at the end of the dream.

Strictly speaking, it was not a senior sister, because she and Chen Xin were at the same level, but they were half a year older than Chen Xin, so after they met, she would let Chen Xin keep calling her senior sister.

Recalling his high-spirited self ten years ago, as well as the things he did in school that are worth remembering, and those people who are worth remembering, Chen Xin feels like he is being sucked by a huge whirlpool, and his emotions are constantly falling, and he can't break free.

After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Chen Xin did not prepare breakfast as usual, but sat on the sofa with a bit of decadence and gloom.

Chen Xin didn't think it was strange that he would dream about the past, people's dreams were related to what they thought and thought, and it was normal to think about it day and night.

But...... The people and things in the memories, the places full of memories, no longer exist and there is no going back.

Looking at the paper he pasted on the wall last night and the goal he set, Chen Xin fell into deep self-doubt, can he really achieve this goal? Will you really be able to persevere? Does it make sense to insist on yourself?

Chen Xin is not a person who is easily decadent or depressed, but at this moment he is deeply mired in self-doubt and denial.

He was doubting his own abilities, his motives for persevering in life, and his purpose in life......

The last days are a stressful environment, and they are a constant and almost endless stressful environment.

In such an environment, the pressure of survival, the spiritual loneliness, and the despair of not seeing hope for the future......

These emotions are constantly accumulating, and some people have poor tolerance and may soon have an emotional breakdown, but even those with strong tolerance are difficult to always maintain optimism and positivity in such an environment.

Because there is really no reason to be optimistic, and there is no future worth looking forward to to make people positive.

The previous Chen Xin may not have been able to put so much pressure on himself because of the existence of the system, and he felt that life would only get better and better, and he could still maintain an optimism.

But when he recalled all the past and good things, and then contrasted with the loneliness, loneliness, darkness, and coldness of the present, the pressure and negative emotions accumulated from the end of the world to the present broke out at this moment, and Chen Xin could no longer hold on.

He is not a Brooklyn kid who can never be defeated, nor is he the kind of dragon Aotian who can change his mentality from an ordinary person to a god and demon slayer who can compete for dominance in the world in an instant.

Chen Xin is just an ordinary person, an ordinary person who is no different from everyone, he will cry, he will be afraid, he will be decadent, and he will despair.