I was alone in Suzhou, with no relatives and no one to talk to.

At school they all thought of me as an outlier because I always said weird things.

I could see things that others couldn't see, but they couldn't see them, so gradually they moved away from me and isolated me, because in their eyes, I was just a neurotic madman.

Over time, I didn't talk to them, but sometimes when I was bored, I would talk to the lonely ghosts on the side of the road, and they told me a lot about the city.

In my free time, I would read the books my grandfather gave me and recall the things that my grandfather had taught me, and they made me feel fulfilled again, forgetting the excessive things that people had said to me, and it didn't seem to be sad to live alone.

There's just one thing that makes me a little haunted.

When I was in high school, I liked a girl at work, and that girl was a transfer student, so unlike everyone else, she didn't have much rejection of me. But in the end, she fell in love with another boy.

It's also sad to say, I was originally for her good, so I told her that there was a dirty thing chasing her and following her every day, but in the end, that kid hired a Taoist chief with money, fooled her, and successfully fooled her away.

At that time, I was really uncomfortable, and I wanted to tell her that the Taoist priest was a liar, and that the dirty thing was not driven away by the Taoist priest, but I secretly drove it away, but I remembered what my grandfather said and didn't mention it to anyone.

That girl's name is Zhao Qing, and she is the first girl I fell in love with in my life.

In the second year of high school, we were going to choose arts and sciences, and Zhao Qing and I were in the same class, but that kid chose science.

In less than a week, that kid chased another girl with the same routine and broke up with Zhao Qing.

Zhao Qing was hit hard, she drank a lot of wine on the day of the breakup, and dragged me to the Internet café outside to watch an all-night TV, crying while watching, and told me that she broke up.

Her eyes were swollen from crying, and she leaned on my shoulder, tears streaming down my shirt and getting wet.

I was also a little distressed, and stretched out my hand to silence her head and comfort her, but my hand stopped in mid-air, but it never fell.

Zhao Qing cried and cried, her voice became hoarse, and she muttered in a low voice: "Fortunately, I didn't agree to his request and didn't open a room with him......"

Hearing this, I couldn't breathe all of a sudden, and my heart throbbed.

Did she mean to tell me something? She always knew I liked her.

I think if it were someone else, I might have hugged her and confessed to her right away, but I'm no one else, I can see a lot of things, but sometimes I don't want to look at it.

When she said this, I instinctively opened my eyes and saw the different aura exuding from her, and immediately understood that she was afraid that she had broken ......

Probably not getting the expected answer, Zhao Qing stopped crying and looked up at me cautiously: "Yazi, what's wrong with you?" ”

I ...... I didn't know what to say, my heart hurt and my brain was blank.

I swallowed, took a few big breaths of air, looked to the side in embarrassment, and replied, "The air here is not very good." ”

"Yazi, do you think I'm lying?" Zhao Qing's gaze dimmed.

"I, no, I just don't think the air here is good." I don't dare to say that I've seen it, I'm very conflicted.

Probably because I didn't want to speak, Zhao Qing didn't cry anymore, just stared at the computer screen in a daze.

The atmosphere was very awkward for a while, I hesitated for a while, and then stood up: "Everything will be fine, I'll send you back, there will be classes tomorrow." ”

Zhao Qing didn't speak, got up and walked in front of me.

When I arrived downstairs in the dormitory, I turned around to leave, but was stopped by Zhao Qing.

"Yazi, nothing has happened to me and Sun Lei, what I said is true." Zhao Qing looked at me with red eyes.

I nodded, feeling a little lost, and I wanted to believe it, and I hoped that things were not what I saw.

At the time, I really wished I hadn't seen it.

Zhao Qing nodded, smiled relaxedly and waved goodbye to me.

I ran away that day, ran to the lake and sat all night, smoking several packs of cigarettes, that was the first time I smoked, and it was also the first time I knew that smoking can also get drunk and make people dazed and groggy.

Later, I was even more silent, Zhao Qing came to me several times, and she accompanied her every time, but I never thought about confessing again.

After the college entrance examination, I returned to the rental house alone, and Zhao Qing went to study at a university in a foreign country, and we had less contact.

On the day I left the city, Zhao Qing came to me and said that she wanted to invite me to dinner, but I didn't go.

Although I haven't been with her all these years, through her contacting me from time to time and chatting with me, I can guess that Zhao Qing still has a little meaning for me.

However, I have not indicated that Zhao Qing may also be a little disappointed in me, so she has always maintained a close attitude with me.

How to describe it? It's probably ambiguous, or beyond friendship, the state of unfulfilled love.

I asked out this time, probably to know if I ever liked her!

But things have come to this point, it doesn't matter if you like it or not, it's all in the past for me.

But the idea is the idea, rejected her, I still have a trace of regret in my heart, so that I always feel uncomfortable after hanging up the phone, drank half a box of beer one after another, and fell drunk directly in the rental house.

When I woke up, I found that I had nothing to do, no need to study, no work, and I didn't know what to do all day long.

I used to think about going back to my relatives, but every time I arrived at the train station, I remembered what my grandfather said, and I couldn't get the courage to go down every time.

As the days went by, I got used to it, I woke up with a book to read, and when I was bored, I went out to hear if anything strange was happening.

Soon, three years had passed, and I had forgotten what my grandfather had said.

If it weren't for the sudden arrival of someone that day, I probably didn't know that three years had passed since I had been here.

The knock on the door was a girl, looking young, combing a high ponytail, wearing a light beige skirt, wearing a pair of small black sandals on her feet, looking bright and moving, the dimples on her face looked even more playful and cute, especially a pair of eyes, ghost-like fluttering, very smart at a glance.