With a shake of her hand, the mother threw the bottle of the weight loss capsule into the garbage basket, turned around and walked briskly to the room where the suitcase was kept. Tong Xiaoqi on the side was nervous, and she didn't care about picking up her things, so she followed.

Watching her mother search and ignore the fallen items almost "rummaging through the cabinets", a fear gradually spread into Xiaoqi's heart. Even though she had prepared herself for the worst, she was fearful for some reason.

Tong Xiaoqi is a divorced single-parent family, a left-behind child, and the only daughter in the family. The parents divorced early, and the court awarded custody of the child to the mother. Therefore, the appearance of her father is almost blank in Xiaoqi's memory, and she lacks fatherly love compared with the children of normal families.

When I was a child, one day my grandfather and grandmother had a big conflict outside, and my angry grandmother began to smash things as soon as she came home. The sound alarmed Xiaoqi, who was doing her homework, and she stood aside in a daze, watching her grandmother cry while smashing, and "destroying" the home on the verge of collapse.

The first time she saw such a grandmother, she was very scared and wanted to go to comfort her, but she didn't know what to say, and she was powerless to stop it.

The neighbors who knew about this rushed to persuade her, but my grandmother pushed through the crowd, crashed into the kitchen, picked up a kitchen knife and waved it at people, intimidating the neighbors to make way for her. Finally, my grandmother went into the bedroom with a knife and locked the door with a "bang".

Xiaoqi suddenly knew that her grandmother wanted to commit suicide, so she was so frightened that she cried hysterically, banging on the door desperately, saying that she must be obedient and she didn't want her grandmother to die......

Later, the matter was resolved, and the neighbor told Xiaoqi that her grandmother was fine, but needed a good rest.

This girl has been in tears since the accident at home today.

When Xiaoqi dragged her tired body to her grandmother's room and saw her sleeping grandmother, she was relieved to go to sleep. Collapsed on the bed, unconsciously wept again, and sobbed for a while before falling asleep.

When I went to school the next day, my friend saw that Tong Xiaoqi was not in a good mental state and asked what was wrong, but she didn't say anything, her mouth was pursed, and tears fell like broken beads......

"Don't look for it...!" Tong Xiaoqi stepped forward and said.

"I had to throw away all the mess you bought today." It was not so much that her mother was answering her, but it was more like her mother's self-talk, but she gave Xiaoqi a slap in the face.

"Why did you lose it?!" She struggled to suppress the negative emotions inside, "It's all useful!" ”

The mother stopped the search, turned around and reprimanded her sharply: "Useful and useful, secretly buy diet pills to eat, I told you a long time ago that you can't buy these things online, have you listened to it?!" Yes, I know that you will gain weight if you take medicine for depression due to hormones, but the doctor said that you should control your diet, exercise more, and stop taking the medicine when the time comes, you are young, your metabolism is good, and it is easy to lose weight. ”

"And the diet pill you take, I don't know how it interacts with the medicine you take, do you care so much about your health?!"

As soon as the words fell, the atmosphere that had just become restless, as if it was strangled by something, instantly became quiet again.

Xiaoqi's words fell to the ground like a needle: "I don't know I'm sick... How long do you have to take medicine? ”

"The doctor said to take it for about nine months." Mother's brows were almost twisted together, "You have eaten for more than half a year, and you still can't hold on to it in the last month or two?" ”

She just thought it was funny.

"My depression is because of you."

"Since junior high school, any insults from my grandmother and grandfather have been swallowed and digested by me alone, and I have borne the tears and grievances by myself!" The girl's body trembled slightly from the mood swings, and she clenched her fists, her nails stinging her palms.

"I know Mom, you're out to make money to support me, so you can't accompany me, I understand, I never blamed you for this...! But every time you come back for the Chinese New Year, you open your mouth and shut up about my father's 'crime' and the failed marriage between you......"

"Do you know how scared I was when I scolded my father and asked me to ask him for living expenses, or if I didn't get it, 'let me wait'? …… If it weren't for this broken family, I wouldn't have had depression, I wouldn't have gained weight, wouldn't I have had to buy diet pills! ”

Tears burst out like a flood of tears, Tong Xiaoqi wiped her tears and stood in place and sobbed softly. "Over the years, even with my loved ones, I often felt lonely."

"Okay." The mother threw the mobile phone in her hand at Xiaoqi, like a bullet hitting her heart, tearing and hurting.

"I don't know what hardship I made you suffer, give you good food and good clothes, I have been trying my best to make you happy since I had depression, I really can't help you Tong Xiaoqi! If you really hate me so much, then hate! Hate me for the rest of my life! ”

Looking at her mother's eyes red from tears, Xiaoqi bit her lip and remained silent. Finally, she glared at her mother fiercely, threw the door of the store and walked away.

She thought that if she stayed there for a second longer, her mother would probably "reward" her in the face.

I don't know if I don't come out, but God is gloomy because of something. Xiaoqi wiped away her tears and pretended to be calm and went to the convenience store to buy something - a small package of paper and a utility knife. During the process, she lowered her head, unwilling to let people see her crying red eyes.

The girl walked aimlessly on the road, the wind was strong, shouting at the sky, curling the branches and leaves of the trees with teeth and claws. Xiao Qi lowered her head and easily cut a small cut on her left index finger with a knife, and the blood immediately oozed out, and she was very satisfied.

Xiaoqi suddenly felt very unreasonably that today's conflict with her mother seemed to be foreshadowed. Not because she secretly bought diet pills, but the dream she had a few days ago - a dream of being reprimanded by her grandmother and mother, and being ridiculed and blamed by everyone.

And now, she was just as miserable and helpless as the self in her dreams.

Now that the matter has broken out, all the signs are no longer important, Tong Xiaoqi just wants to find a secluded place to vent the negative emotions he has hoarded.

She found a building.

From the outside, it was a place for office workers to work, and the glass door on the first floor was wide open, and Xiao Qi went in with her head down without thinking about it. Entering was a bright and spacious hall, surrounded by the comforting scent of wood, but she had no intention of feeling it.

Until she walked to the elevator, no one came to ask what she was doing in a casual floral dress. It's probably a very open and friendly city, even in a quiet workplace, there are no strict restrictions, and idlers can come and go as they please.

Entering the elevator, Xiaoqi quickly scanned the floor buttons and pressed the nineteenth floor, which was the top floor of the building.

It used to be the highest place, the quietest, the loneliest, and the least to be disturbed.

She sat down in a corner, embraced herself in agony, and curled up; My chest felt like it was being pressed by something, and I couldn't breathe. She ripped off the hair cord and threw her phone into the distance, grabbing her hair with both hands and slamming her head against the wall. Xiao Qi only felt dizzy, and she didn't know when tears had covered her face, but her throat just couldn't make a sound.

I vaguely remember a sentence in an article that said, "The collapse of contemporary young people is a silent collapse, and even when such extreme emotions come, in the eyes of many outsiders, those young people are still social, humorous, and smiling." ”

In order to make herself cry, Xiao Qi took out a knife and cut three cuts on his left arm, which was very deep, and in a short time, the blood occupied the wound, overflowed, and slowly flowed down his arm, drop by drop, hitting the white floor.

The girl finally buried her head and cried, not because of pain, but because of despair.