My plan to resign was put on hold for the time being, but I put the resignation letter safely in my drawer, thinking that by the end of the year, if Cao Hui had not left Orange, then I would hand over the letter, and from now on, there is no need to say goodbye.

Lin Su came to me, it seemed that he was coming to work, but the first sentence he said was still gossip: "To be honest with me, you suddenly didn't leave, is it because of Lin Jiangnan?" ”

Without looking up, I said, "Then I'd better go." ”

"Don't, don't, I'm just asking." She sat down on the couch and asked me again, "Then why did you suddenly change your mind?" I couldn't stop you that day. ”

"I can't afford it."

"Really?"

I threw down the mouse in my hand, turned my chair to look at her, and smiled, "You don't believe me like that?" ”

Lin Xu smiled and didn't say anything, her fingers picked at the armrest of my sofa twice, pulled up a thread, and then pulled it off vigorously, with the slight breaking sound, she said: "I don't want to believe it, Lin Jiangnan is a good young man." Speaking of which, you've missed a lot over the years, and Li Yuanwei ...... when you first came."

"How did you turn him out? I don't have anything to do with him. ”

"It's about you having nothing. At that time, you just came to the company, Li Yuanwei is very interested in you, and we can all see that he is interested in you. It's just you, pretending to be stupid all day long, and extinguishing other people's small fires. Lin Su stood up and walked upside down in front of me, "After you finished talking to me that day, I thought about it again, although Lin Jiangnan is acting with you, but people are willing to act in this play, which in itself can also explain something." ”

"You still say?" I glanced at her, "Besides, I'll resign now to prove my innocence." ”

"What kind of innocence do you prove, I hope you are not innocent!" Lin Su poked my head with her finger, as if she was poking her daughter, "You are thirty, you still have to give yourself more opportunities, don't regret it later, it will be too late." ”

"Hmm." I said perfunctorily.

"Did you hear that? Snack on your own business. ”

"Why are you like my mother......"

She was stunned, smiled and sighed, "Yes." After having children, I got used to the thinking of my parents, and I was tired of what my parents did, but now I can do it, and I feel that I am very reasonable. She tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear, "Well, don't talk about it." ”

Lin Su finally changed the topic and returned to the main theme of work. She first fully affirmed my decision not to resign, and encouraged me to make persistent efforts in the next work, not to be happy with things or to be sad about myself, and to make every effort to create brilliance. Then she gave me a brochure project for a medical aesthetic institution and asked me to do it as soon as possible.

"Do a good job." Lin Su cheered me on. I really want to sing her a song "Dragon and Tiger Man Dan" and kick her to death.

But I don't really have the heart to work, open the software is also to click east and west, everything around me suddenly becomes very attractive, a pair of disposable chopsticks given by takeaway I can hold in my hand for half an hour.

Although the work that needed to be done was like a huge shadow hanging over my head, making me feel guilty about everything I did, I just couldn't control myself, and I was constantly distracted, distracted, distracted.

In the end, I finally couldn't help but pick up my phone, opened the album, and flipped out the photo I took of Lin Jiangnan. In the photo, Lin Jiangnan's eyes looked at me clearly and sharply, just like that day, as if he still carried the cold wind of that day, the warmth of that day, the smell of smoke in the bar that day and the spicy cup of Long Island iced tea.

He's really good, it's beautiful, it's nice to be with him. I thought how nice it would be if I could always be friends, if he didn't come near me, if I didn't care about him at all!

Friend, I'm afraid we can't do it, but it's good to stop abruptly when everything is still good.

I selected this photo of Lin Jiangnan, hesitated, and clicked delete.

The photo was deleted, and I was not in a good mood and at the same time felt a little lighter. If Xu Yijing knew my whole mental journey, I am afraid that she would scold me by my nose again, and a brave person like her would not understand my cowardice. She would say that I didn't understand the amorous feelings, and killed a beautiful relationship that could happen with my own hands.

But what's the difference between a beautiful emotion dying by yourself and being stifled by me? Anyway, they are all dead, and strangling in the cradle can save a lot of energy and time.

If Lin Su knew my thoughts, he would probably hate the sigh that iron is not steel, saying that I am destined to die lonely if I continue like this. But why do I have to be white-headed with others, anyway, I myself will eventually be white-headed.

A person like me, who is strong on the outside and fragile on the inside, still don't take it upon himself to provoke love, can't I afford to provoke and hide?

I drank my coffee and looked out the window at the sky, it was gray and cold, and it looked like it was going to snow. However, I don't believe that it will snow in Beijing, and I will not be able to return to the forecast. The meteorological observatory always says, 'The promised snow did not come', which is really self-inflicted, who made an appointment with him? If the forecast is not accurate, it is said that the forecast is not accurate.

That night, I stayed and worked an overtime, and it didn't really matter, but it didn't matter anything when I got home. When I got off work, Cheng Liren saw me working overtime and came over to give me a self-hilarious pot, telling me not to be too late, which made me very embarrassed, after all, I was going to watch a movie in the office.

In order to cope with my conscience, I first made a picture book for an hour of medical aesthetic institutions, and then watched an Indian movie while eating Zihi pot, and I had a lot of fun watching it.

When it was almost nine o'clock, the mobile phone rang, and I grabbed it and saw that it was Cao Hui, and said to me: "I didn't think about sending flowers to your company rashly, and I didn't take into account the opinions of your colleagues, and my sister wants to forgive me." ”

I don't know how Lin Jiangnan told Cao Hui when he went back, Cao Hui even felt that he was not thoughtful. However, the words of my sister in the back disgusted me again, which shows that I still have a thief's heart.

I took a deep breath and typed the message with my fingers flying: "I'm not your sister, I'm a designer at Party B for your company, and I hope you remember that." Things that have nothing to do with work, please don't send them over again, I won't accept anything. Thank you. ”

"Okay, okay, I was wrong, I won't send anything in the future, don't be angry." He sent an eye-squeezing expression, "Do you have time to go out to eat together on Christmas Eve?" Is it okay for me to admit my mistake in person? ”

If I didn't buy the phone at my own expense, I must have broken it.

I grabbed my phone and crackled and typed a long paragraph, thought about it after writing, and deleted it again.

It's useless to say more, this Cao Hui doesn't get in, no matter what I say, he has his own set of understanding, I guess I just swear, he will think I'm flirting with him. So I simply changed my words: "No, I already have a date." ”

"Oh? Dating a boyfriend? ”

"Yes."

"When did I get my boyfriend, why don't I know?"

I pursed my lips and said to myself, who are you? Why do you want to know?

"Lately." I replied.

"Congratulations, congratulations." He sent a clapping emoji, followed by a red envelope. I disliked the phone and threw it on the table, so naturally I didn't order the red envelope, and I didn't give him any reply.

A few minutes later, he sent another message, "Bring us for dinner one day, and I'll help you check it." ”

"No, you don't." I replied stiffly, "I'm going to drive." ”

"Okay, stay safe."

Watch out, you big-headed ghost!

My mood was stirred up by Cao Hui like this, it was extremely bad, I didn't have the heart to do the album, and I didn't have the heart to watch the movie, so I packed up and prepared to go home. When I turned off the light, I looked at the bouquet of flowers on the coffee table, it was not as bright as it was yesterday, and I wondered if I should sprinkle it with some water to prolong the bloom, but when I went back to get the paper cup, I changed my mind again.

Forget it, so be it, it doesn't make much sense to let it live a few more days.

It was already past nine o'clock when I finished punching the card, and some of the lights in the corridor of the office building had been turned off, making it look very deserted and dim. It was dark and cold outside, so I tightened my coat and rushed to the parking lot, where there were still many cars still lonely and lonely waiting for their owners. I got into the car and looked up to see the lights coming through the windows of the office building.

It's a Friday, and I don't know how many people are really busy, how many people are like me, but they are just killing some time here with their work. Opposite the office building is a shopping mall, and you can see the big Christmas tree at the entrance of the mall shining brightly from a distance, and the posters with big sales are posted outside the building, warm and lively.

Christmas is coming.

Someone in the bottom store of the office building is working overtime to unload apples, probably preparing to make a small gift for the holidays. I don't know what year it became popular to give apples at Christmas, but I remember when I was in school, there was no such custom. However, the implantation of Apple, so that the Christmas festival began to have a localized taste, and when it became popular to eat dumplings at Christmas, it means that the localization has been completely successful.

Yao Feng and I once ate dumplings at Christmas, and he said that our behavior is a deconstruction of popular culture, a gentle performance art, and a grafting of traditional culture and imported culture. I said that he forgot to book a restaurant, so I honestly admit that I don't force up the value.

He laughed and refused to admit it, saying that eating Western food at Christmas was too formal, how vulgar, and not worthy of my temperament. But I said that I am just a layman, not vulgar, who is in love!

I threw up my backpack to hit him, and he ran. It was snowing that day, and we ran and slipped around the street with dim street lights, and the calories of the dumplings were quickly consumed. My face was flushed with cold, and my smile was frozen on my face, Yao Feng hugged me tightly, saying that it would be better to have another supper. I asked him what he was eating, and he opened his mouth and said, "Northwest wind, you taste it, it's sweet." ”

At that time, I fell into vulgar love, and I felt that the northwest wind was really sweet.

Stupid to death.

It was rumored that 2012 was the end of the world, and when I was eating dumplings, I pinched my fingers and counted, and by 2012 I must have married Yao Feng, and what else was there to fear if I was married to Yao Feng? We're going to die together.

However, half a year later, we broke up. The end of the world did not come.

It's really impermanent.

The convenience store delivery car drove away, and the headlights flashed in front of my eyes and pulled me out of my memory, and I looked in the rearview mirror and realized that I was still smiling.

In the past few years, I have rarely thought of Yao Feng, but I don't know what is going on recently, he will jump into my mind from time to time to brush a few points of existence. I don't know if it's because the New Year is approaching and the festival is intensive? This may be a variant of the psychology of 'thinking of relatives every festive season'? My loved ones are all around, and there's nothing to think about so I think of him?

But I hate to think of him, I hate to think of the beauty of being with him, because I already know our end.

I started the car in good spirits, and the lights automatically lit up to illuminate the road, and some small things were slowly falling under the lights. Stunned, I opened the window and looked out into the dark sky.

This time, the snow that I had made an appointment with actually came.