The bar was warm, the people were noisy, and the smoke from cigarettes drifted into the lights, as if swaying slowly to the music. The band downstairs sang folk songs, and the lead singer was a young boy, holding an acoustic guitar in his arms, no matter how chaotic the surroundings were, always reveling in his own singing.

We listened for a while, and the waiter brought us the wine we ordered. I stirred my cup of Long Island Iced Tea with a straw, then threw the straw aside and took a sip of it.

"You're pretty violent." Lin Jiangnan said.

"Anyway, it's better than Xu Yijing."

Lin Jiangnan smiled when he heard this, "Sister Xu can't turn over." He opened a bottle of beer, touched the rim of my glass to himself, and asked me, "What happened to her that time, drinking so much by herself." Stuffy drinking? ”

"She's out of love." After I finished speaking, I shook my head again, "It can't be said that I have lost love, I should say that I ended an intimate relationship." It's not like it's stuffy wine, and there may be a little celebratory element in it. In short, it's complicated, and it's hard for me to explain it to you with a definition, which requires ...... Experience. I muttered as I thought about it.

"What's the difference between falling out of love and ending an intimate relationship?"

"Ending an intimate relationship is active, falling out of love is passive." I took a sip of the wine, looked at the wine in the glass and snorted gently, "To put it bluntly, falling out of love is more painful." ”

I didn't look up, he didn't ask me anything more, the singer's singing voice floated into the midst of us, and he murmured: I have been sad and weeping, and I have been sad and broken, this is the price of love.

I thought to myself, how can this lyric be so appropriate? Did God specifically ask him to sing it to me?

After the singing was over, the two of us politely applauded the singer, and the faint, somewhat sad atmosphere passed. Lin Jiangnan opened another bottle of beer and drank it, and asked me, "How long have you been single?" ”

I wanted to ask him how he knew I was single, but when I thought about it, this was nonsense, and if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't be sitting here with him, so I said, "Seven years." ”

He was slightly stunned, and I spread my hands, "Don't ask, it's not appropriate to ask." ”

"Okay." He took a sip of his wine, looked at the singer downstairs, and after a while turned to me and asked, "What's the right thing to do?" ”

"Uh......" I was stunned for a moment, my mind went blank, and no one's face flashed. I suddenly realized that my love life was as pale as paper. My first love has left my heart, and I haven't really had a crush on anyone in the past seven years, not even an idol who can be a nymphomaniac.

Yes, I like Guo Degang, but his face is not suitable for this question.

"So hard to answer?" Lin Jiangnan took a sip of beer and said with a smile.

I sighed and picked up my Long Island Iced Tea, "Ever heard a word?" If a person is a rainbow, he knows it when he meets it. ”

"Can't meet it?"

"If you can't meet it, you can't meet it, and I don't mind being single for the rest of my life. There are so many interesting things in the world, and love is just one of them. I drank my glass of wine and looked at the singer downstairs.

Is it fun to be in love? I asked myself. It would be nice if love only had a process and no ending. But how can there be anything in this world that has no ending? Yao Feng and I ended up breaking up, if the two of us hadn't broken up at that time and continued to walk, maybe we would have gone to an ending like Xu Yijing and Shao Jie; If Xu Yijing and Shao Jie hadn't broken up, maybe they would have gone to the ending of Lin Su and her husband.

It's so boring.

"What are you thinking?" Lin Jiangnan asked me.

"Nothing." I retracted my divergent train of thought and looked at Lin Jiangnan in front of me again, this twenty-four-year-old young man. In fact, it is not too small, in my feeling, my twenty-four years old seems to have just passed, but in the blink of an eye, I am standing in front of the threshold of thirty years old.

"Lin Jiangnan." I sighed slightly and called his name, "What do you want you to be like when you're thirty?" ”

"I don't know." He said it again, just like the other day when I asked him what he liked to do in the car. Perhaps it was alcohol that catalyzed my observation and acuity, and when I looked at him, I suddenly felt that the background of the person in front of me was actually unhappy.

"What about you?" He asked me rhetorically.

"Me?" I spread my hands, "I'm thirty years old, it's like this, dull and boring. ”

"And before? Have you thought about this question? ”

"I thought about it a long time ago, I thought I was married and had children when I was thirty." I smiled self-deprecatingly, "It's too far away." I used to just think so, but I didn't think about what would happen when I got married, and what would happen when I had children. When you are young, you will only think about it, that is really called imagination, thinking about the good side, and it is difficult to do it again when you are older. ”

"Do you like your current job?"

"I like it!" I replied in the affirmative, "I mean, I like this job, not that I like to be beautiful." Of course, before Cao Hui appeared, Cheng Mei was also good. ”

"It's good to know what you like to do and do what you love."

I laughed, leaned forward and half-leaned on the table, and said to him, "Actually, I don't have many choices, I'm very bad at math, and I like to draw, and art admissions is almost the only way I can go." ”

"How bad are you at math?" He asked me with interest.

"Exceptionally poor. There are many problems in mathematics that I can't think clearly, such as why do we need to multiply and divide and then add and subtract when calculating the four fortunes? What does the result of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division mean? After all, it can be calculated, right? Also, why are those theorems necessarily right, are they established cosmic truths, or are they just a universal law of our human race, but we think they are right, and maybe they are wrong on other planets? ”

I said it very seriously, but Lin Jiangnan laughed as he listened. He laughed, but I wasn't angry, because I could hear that there was no sarcasm in his laugh.

"Xu Yijing also said that I am neurotic, and it would be good to have a formula to memorize the formula, what is the use of thinking about this. But I'm really struggling! ”

"You're really better suited to art." He said.

I shrugged, "I don't know if I'm suitable for art, but I'm grateful for art anyway, it's art that gave me the opportunity to go to college." ”

"Then we're the opposite." He took a sip of his beer, "I've been very bad at art since I was a child, and I don't paint anything like anything. ”

"And are you singing out of tune?"

Obviously, he hesitated, his eyes flickering, "It's okay." ”

"Sing someday?" My eyebrows twitched, and I smiled maliciously.

"Then you do a set of advanced math problems with me first, and I'll go if you pass."

"Understood, I understood, if you compare your singing with my math, then I will know the level." I picked up my glass, and he picked it up, and we clinked glasses.

"For the sake of art!" I say.

"For the truth!" He said.

I was drinking the Long Island Iced Tea to the bottom, and I felt a little smoky and felt very good. I asked him why he didn't go to work for a tech company after graduation, because he had no reason to do planning and marketing in terms of salary, future development, or his own interests.

"I don't like my major." He said with a slight sense of resentment.

"Then why are you learning this?"

"My grandfather thought that boys should study science or engineering, and he was a professor, and he wanted me to do the same professional research as he did." Lin Jiangnan wiped the wine bottle with his hand and said with a smile, "If my dad were alive, I don't know what he would ask of me." It's a pity that he died when I was very young. ”

"I'm sorry." I whispered, bowing my head in silence for a while, "That'...... Do you really hate this major, or do you hate that you don't have a choice? ”

He looked at me blankly and didn't speak.

I put down my glass and looked at him with a smile: "You know that when we give a proposal to Party A, we never give only one plan. Sometimes there are some plans that really don't work, and we will submit them, which are called green leaf drafts, because we have to choose for Party A. When people have the right to choose, they will make choices, and only when they make their own choices can they be willing. ”

He looked down and smiled softly, still not speaking.

"Don't worry, you're still young anyway, try more and you can always find something you like." I ended the conversation with a wave of my hand, "I just say that, you just listen to it." After all, I'm mixed up like this now, and I really don't have any credibility to say it. ”

"Which look? But an annoying Cao Hui, why did you even deny yourself. Lin Jiangnan raised his glass and touched me, "What you have done is really good, and the fact that the proposal can be approved is not entirely the result of Cao Hui's ulterior motives." ”

"Don't mention him." I drank the last bit of Long Island iced tea, "Anyway, I'm going to resign, and I won't be out of my mind in the future, whatever he wants." Can't I hide if I can't be provoked? ”

"Are you really going to quit?"

I smiled and asked him, "What?" Don't want me to quit? ”

"Hmm." He whispered.

He looked at me with a very focused gaze, which made his simple word seem extra serious and solemn. I looked into his eyes and became inexplicably serious, "Why?" I asked him.

He didn't speak.

The two of us looked at each other in silence, maybe I drank a little too much, I gradually began to dizzy in his gaze, time stood still, space was empty, as if the vicissitudes of life in a second, the world had nothing to do with me. I suddenly felt a little familiar at this moment, and I forgot when it had been like this, like a distant wave suddenly rushing in front of me, and my head was slapped down, making people unable to breathe.

"Huh." I turned my head away, took a deep breath of cloudy air, and the world returned to my mind. "Give me a beer, I'm done with my Long Island Iced Tea." I said, pointing to the bottle beside him.

He silently took a bottle, opened the cap and handed it to me, "If you resign......

"Don't talk about it." I blurted out, and when I was done, I added, "I'll think about it, after all, it's almost the end of the year." ”

"Well, don't get stuck with money."

The singer downstairs took the stage again, picked up the guitar and tuned the strings, and then picked out the chords with his fingers and began the prelude. Lin Jiangnan looked at the singer downstairs, and I looked at Lin Jiangnan.

There was a lamp above his head where he sit, and the light cast a very tricky angle, illuminating his side face three-dimensionally and black-and-white. The background is very dark, his hair is a little messy, and he looks a little decadent, like a literary young man preparing a monologue, to tell about his painful youth.

I pulled out my phone and took a picture of him, and the moment he pressed the shutter, he turned his head and looked at me, "What for?" He asked me.

I didn't answer him, I just clicked on the album and looked back at the photos I took.

I thought this photo would be a black lens, taking a picture of Lin Jiangnan with a mushy face, who may have his eyes closed or rolled his eyes. Maybe it's a picture below that he can post something like, 'What's your ugliest picture?'

But it didn't.

The mobile phone blurred the background, and the lights that turned on and off, the colors that were intertwined, and the faint smoke that loomed were scattered behind Lin Jiangnan in a colorful way. And Lin Jiangnan in the photo is looking at me, his gaze has not wandered for half a minute, just like he has been looking at me like this, the tricky light in his eyes seems clear and sharp.

So my heart pounded.

I've taken a lot of photos, but none of them are as good as this one, so good that I don't even want to share it with anyone, including Lin Jiangnan.

"What did you do with me?" Lin Jiangnan asked me.

I quit the album, turned off the phone screen and put it aside, "It's too dark to shoot, delete it." ”

At one o'clock in the night, I was already a little dazed, and Lin Jiangnan dressed me up as an Android robot again, and then pulled me out of the 'Zaixiang' bar.

Outside, the north wind was still raging, and I was pulled by him in a daze, like a blind man who showed palmistry, with my eyes half-closed, and my hands rubbing around in his hands. His fingers are long, his nails are smooth, and his palms are dry and warm. Expert!

"What are you doing?" He turned back to me and asked.

"I haven't held a man's hand in seven years, feel it." I laughed, pulled out my hand and patted him on the shoulder, "Don't worry, my sister is not a female hooligan." ”

I didn't hear what he said, so I asked him in a loud voice, "What did you say?" ”

"Get in the car."

Lin Jiangnan stuffed me into the back seat of the taxi. The hot breath I exhaled condensed on my scarf, and even my face was damp, and he helped me untie it, and then wiped a few handfuls on my face.

"Is it cold or not?" He asked me.

I couldn't open my eyelids anymore, so I just shook my head.

"If you're sleepy, you can sleep for a while, and I'll call you later."

I nodded and closed my eyes.

There is a nostalgic golden song playing on the midnight radio station in the taxi, which is Cai Qin's version of Nanping Evening Bell, which is a song that my dad likes to listen to. The driver hummed along quietly, and transferred Sima Tai's accent out of the Yumen Pass, but he couldn't listen to it. I wondered if Lin Jiangnan's singing would be such absurd, and I couldn't help but laugh when I thought about it, and secretly laughed with my eyes closed.

The evening bell of Nanping is carried by the wind

It seemed to knock on my heart

The evening bell of Nanping is carried by the wind

It seems to be urging me to wake up my lovesick dreams

It woke me up to my lovesick dreams

What is the use of acacia

I walked out of the forest

I saw the sunset red again