Chapter 19: Grievances
I didn't spread negative energy, but I suddenly felt very aggrieved, and I felt that hard work and diligence did not necessarily lead to success. It's like embarking on a road of no return, the harder you try, the more you deviate from the track; Walking on the horns, the more you forge ahead, the narrower the road will become. I feel like I'm in a dead end right now, and I can't see the time.
I can't expect everyone to understand me and make me white. It's because I'm not good enough, it's not satisfactory, that's why I will lose again and again!
I think of falling down when I was a child, and I would be comforted if I was coquettish and crying, but now, no matter how ugly I fall and how fierce I cry, I will only get the white eyes of others, "Look, this person has fallen again." Can you understand what it's like to fall down in the same pit many times? I can't climb out of my anger! It's so hard to grow up!
I want to go back to the age when I could be happy like a fool with a piece of candy, back to the age when someone pampered someone loved someone and tolerated someone, and back to a place where someone stood behind me no matter what I did......
I'm so hypocritical, and it's not a big deal, so I actually have the idea of giving up. I want to escape, I want to stay away! Alas, after all, there is still some glass heart. I don't know if a person like me would faint on the spot if he had been beaten even harder. Sometimes I feel so vulnerable, fragile and terrible.
When everything is in vain, I am white, and it is my own fault! To grow up is to correct one mistake after another, and then slowly become your own backer!
I want to cry, but I think tears are too hypocritical! Alas, forget it! Digest the bad mood yourself, and it will be fine on a cloudy day! Hopefully, one day, I can become a good person.
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