I didn't want to write it, but now I want to find someone to talk to, but I know that it's useless to find any parents and brothers, but it will increase my troubles, I originally wanted to find my best friend, but ...... After thinking about it, forget it, because ...... If you have a good listener, then it will be really much better after talking, but if you fail, he doesn't understand you, he doesn't understand your feelings, then chatting will only make you more uncomfortable...

And tomorrow is her birthday, I agreed to play tomorrow, and I will talk to her at that time, and at that time, even if she can't help me lighten it, but after the washing of time, it will not be so uncomfortable.........

There's no better place to talk than this.........

I think I'm a lot sentimental, maybe it's the mentality of this age, but it's not, because I don't find it among my peers, but also, if people don't want to show it, how can you find out

I always like to hide my true emotions and put on the "false" side, but what qualifications do I have to say to others? Isn't it the same for me myself, in front of others, even if I feel uncomfortable, I will have a smile on my face, and when I am alone, I will show my true emotions......

But it's much better now than before, I said before that I feel like I have depression, I think I used the wrong word, I should be autistic

Many people say that I am very quiet and ladylike, but I used to be too quiet, too quiet, not communicating with others, although I said that I would not ignore others, but I would only smile and echo a few times, and after others left, my smile collapsed, and I lived in my own world...

It's much better now.,It's very involuntary quiet in front of unfamiliar people.,I don't want to communicate too much with others.,Unless it's me to make friends myself.,Speaking of this.,I wouldn't have taken the initiative to make friends by myself before.,Now I have a clever plan.

Say the last sentence at the right time, for example: once a classmate wiped the desk while cleaning, and said "Oops, my clothes are dirty, I need to change" At this time, I realized that this was a good time, smiled and said "a sign of dedication" and then I caught her attention, and then chatted, and then when we met, we smiled and nodded to each other and said hello, and just like that, the classmate was promoted to friend!

Forehead...... Suddenly, I felt that my previous pessimistic mood was gone!! The healing power in my heart is too strong→_→

Never mind! Don't talk about that! Let's get straight back to the point! I'm going to play with my phone!

Tomorrow is the Qingming Festival, and then we went to sweep the tomb today, and we will have a reunion dinner together tonight, and then they talked about the dormitory, they have been to my brother's school, my brother's school is first-class, so the conditions will definitely be much better, there are water heaters, air conditioning, dormitory classrooms, and my school they have not visited, but they know that my school dormitory has no fan and no air conditioning, and then there are a lot of mosquitoes

These are indeed true, and there are really a lot of mosquitoes, and now Natsume is slowly coming, and some students want to close the door alive or dead, even if they close one side, and close both sides together, it's really going to die

I remember that for a few weeks I had insomnia every day, one was hot and the other was bitten, at that time I really woke up every night, and it seemed to be filled with an alarm clock, I woke up on time, when I woke up, the heat died, the exposed skin was itched to death, the mosquitoes were buzzing in the room, it was useless to drive away, the door was closed, the quilt was not covered, the kick was not, I really wanted to open the door!

But thinking that some of my classmates still didn't do that, I had to put the quilt over my head and leave a little gap in my nose, but it was still hard to fall asleep, although it was very hot in private school, but at least there were no mosquitoes!

Light mosquito coils?? Hehe, I don't want to suffocate myself in it and hang a mosquito net?? Hehe, I haven't seen anyone hang it, I don't know if the school allows it, the school is broken, and it is required to be neat (¬_¬)

Then my parents said that it would be nice if they installed a fan or something, anyway, it's not difficult to get everyone to give one or two hundred now, hehe, wrong! It's really difficult.,I think my brother's school is good.,Classmates are very rich.,But I don't like it.,My brother is spending a lot of money now.,And chasing fashion.,I want to buy a mobile phone.,He just bought a few x of Meizu blue not long ago.,Anyway, it's the latest.,Now he wants to buy a new mobile phone.,And encourage me to buy it too.,And he also looks down on those groceries or something.,But my brother's grades are very good.,People are also very good.,But ...... I think he's changed... Became...

My parents are also in the same situation as my brother, I am in the current school, my classmates are poor, only twenty or thirty yuan a week, and I have to save money, they asked me how much a week when I said a hundred they were very surprised, but my mother gave me so much and spent at most twenty a week, which also included water money, as far as I drank water very well, it was okay in winter, and in summer I poured one bottle after another, of course I sweated a lot, and I could sweat when I sat there and did nothing. We pay 200 a month for food, and we pay it all month by month......

Then my parents said to take me back and sleep at home at night, so as not to make it too uncomfortable, and then said that they couldn't sleep with the air conditioner on...

Hehe, really think about me?? Then when I was in my first year of junior high school, where did you go to elementary school? There are two rooms with air conditioning, one is my brother's, I can't sleep with him, and then my parents have to sleep together, so I can only lay on the floor in my parents' room, and spread the sofa cushion on the ground, over time, my dad thinks this is inappropriate, although my mother said it very tactfully, but I still know what it means, I haven't slept in their room since that day, just in my own room, just turn on and the little kind of fan clamped on the head of the bed, that feeling I really feel so desolate

The doors of the two rooms were closed, and I was alone in the room open, and one person was silently turning on the fan, and my parents felt a little guilty when they saw me like this, and said forget it, let me go to their room to sleep, I refused, and then my mother said "let her be, turn on the fan, it's not very hot" and then went into the air-conditioned room with peace of mind

Hehe... Not hot?? It's hot, of course it's hot, it's tropical, it's not as hot as Africa, but it's like an oven everywhere you go, how can it not be hot?? Then every night I heard my mom say, "Hey, now I'll help my brother bring the air conditioner first, and it will be cooler later"...

Hehe, I didn't say anything, did what I say work? Does it make sense? My mom said I always like to wear headphones and plug my ears, well, I like to listen to songs with headphones because it insulates everything outside and immerses me in the song

So I spent the summer silently blowing the fan......

Now let me blow it is not rare, anyway, I'm used to it, I don't like pampering, but my parents like this, I don't need special care, others can survive why can't I, why don't you always think I can!! Why do you always look down on me!!

I went to sweep the grave today, and I went the wrong way, so I had to climb over a wall, and my dad asked my brother to go over first, and then said "what about my sister (me)"

Hehe, that wall is just a little bit past my thigh, how can you tell that I can't??

At dinner tonight, my mother said worriedly, "I don't know if my sister can be admitted to xx high school (a school that only needs more than 500 points to enter)", I really wanted to cry at that moment......

Am I really so useless in your hearts? Hehehe, I was still silent, and I went to the toilet after eating quickly, not because I didn't want to explain too much to my mother, and she wouldn't understand it anyway, so over time I wouldn't talk so much to my parents, and I didn't want to say too much even if I was misunderstood

After about a few minutes, I forcibly turned off the faucet, and when I walked out of the toilet and saw them, I felt that the faucet was about to turn on again, so I hurried into the room, this time I didn't turn it off, let it open...

I don't want anyone to see me cry......

In my mother's heart, I was a person who couldn't take care of myself, and every time I said that I couldn't cook or anything when I was so old...... Hehe, I just want to ask you, have you given me a chance? It's like when you tie a person's hands and feet, and blame him for not being able to eat

It's not that it won't, it's that there is no chance, I'll buy groceries! I know how to cook! I will do what I have to do! But do you give me room to show it? The teacher will ask, "The classmates who often buy groceries, cook and do housework at home raise their hands and let me look at them", I look at the classmates who raise their hands one by one, I really envy them, their parents trust them so much, I want to, but I can't

Take the initiative to do it?? Now I don't want to say so much, anyway, it's not that simple, and I don't know where to explain it.........

My mom always felt that I was too weak to leave her, and that I would die when she wasn't with me, and I couldn't stand anything

In fact, I have never told her that I have had so many high fevers at school, and I have solved so many difficulties by myself, I have had many high fevers at school, but every time I endure it, I don't want to rely on anyone, and now I know what to do with a high fever, and it's to cover more quilts! Covering so much is counterproductive, the heat can't be dissipated, putting a wet towel on the forehead is because the water will take away the heat when it evaporates, and covering more quilts is to force the sweat out, but you can't sweat out if you suffocate yourself

The first few times I had a high fever, I tried my best to cover the quilt, but I woke up in the middle of the night, my brain burned more and more confused, and the whole person was dizzy, but I still covered it, so that I couldn't stand on my feet the next morning, and then I had a fever, I still covered a lot of quilts, and then I woke up the next day and found that I kicked the quilt, and I woke up a lot, and then every time I had a fever, I covered a little quilt, and then I slept and woke up much better

This method works for me or not necessarily for you, dig one yourself

Let's write this first, the mood is already much better, as for the introduction of the seven-subject teacher, in fact, I think about going home every week at school, I must write, but in the end, ...... And then it dragged on and on.,No one watched it anyway.,So I don't force myself after that.,I don't know when it's going to be written next time.,Look at it.,The teacher will talk about my grandfather.,Grandparents are the people I respect the most.,But my grandfather left when I was in the fifth grade.,I went to visit my grandfather today to sweep the grave......

Forget it, it's still not counted, it's all tears when you talk too much, so let's do it first, I'll definitely write it, but I don't know the specific time......

Bye... Best listener ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ✧