I haven't shown up for almost a month, so I came out for a stroll today.

For the past month, I have been preparing for high school courses and catching up on my English basics. Everything else is fine, but it's just that I have a big head in math. It's so helpless......

Tomorrow is the first day of August, but now I feel like school is about to start, and it used to be very lively during the holidays, but it is slowly deserted

Think about when you started. The uncle's family and our family both lived together at my grandmother's house, and then we built a new house, but the uncle's family had not yet been built, so they also lived in our house, and later the uncle also built a new house and lived separately.

Then a few years ago, Brother Lobby went to work... This year, my cousin also went to work after the college entrance examination, and their grades were not very satisfactory, so they didn't go to college. Now my brother is in his third year of high school, and his studies are tight, so he already went to school yesterday.

The little cousin in the past, there is the eldest son who I wrote about hating my aunt very much, and I think he has changed a lot, so I think you really can't define a person casually, time can really change a lot of things. Now he's fine

He used to be the most familiar with his brother, but... Gradually, after all, I was still rusty, and I had to stay for at least a month during the summer vacation, but this year, I only stayed for less than three days and left

Now I'm alone at home. What a person, a child. Although I like a person, there will still be a gap in my heart. People who used to mix together are now going their separate ways. This sadness still can't be stopped.

I feel like everyone is changing, and it's getting farther and farther away. I don't know if my cousin will come back. She clearly said that she would come back yesterday, but she didn't, I was actually very conflicted in my heart, I wanted him to come, but I didn't want him to come.

I think the reason he came was that I was really a little bored. The reason I didn't want him to come was because I didn't really want to see him, I didn't really want to pay attention to him. Because he didn't want to pay attention to me, the two of us went further and further apart.

I think when I was in elementary school, I was still in the first year of junior high school. Before the holidays even started, they were already discussing the summer vacation. And then chatting all day long. Right now... It is no exaggeration to say that after a semester, we really haven't been in touch.

The first contact was the day my results came out. I went to complain about the topic that I had provoked, and then he just made a few perfunctory words and found an excuse to leave.

Later, I took the initiative to find him several times. But it didn't take a few words to go, and then three days ago I asked him when he was coming. He ignored me for three days and still hasn't replied.

I'm sure he saw it. But he didn't reply, why do I know? She stays at home and carries her phone all day long like me, and even if she really has something, she won't go without looking at her phone for three days...

So I'm really tired, and if he really comes, when I ask him about it, he will look like he doesn't care and say I forgot. Because he is very cold about everything.

I remember one time on New Year's Day, he only stayed here for five days and then left. Then one day, my grandmother asked me to call him and tell them to come back and visit a relative. As soon as I heard that I was going back, I was so excited that I picked up the phone and called him and told him, and then he just let out a faint oh on the other side of the phone.

Can you really experience that feeling? The whole person poured cold water down, as if everything was just your wishful thinking.

So I don't want to pay attention to it, so let's leave it at that. Let's drift away. Actually, I still like to be alone. It's just that it takes a little bit of getting used to it now.

But now I really feel a little lonely. I also take my phone and leave for a while every day, and I will look at it with a little anticipation to see if anyone will look for me. But unfortunately neither

But it doesn't matter, I'll get used to it. No one bothered me, and I didn't have to do it again. I just hope that when I get used to this loneliness, no one will break it.

Let's take a look at this matter

My former roommate, he didn't know how to collapse his mentality, so he thought about taking a year off from school to work first, because she had more grades than me, but the school she chose was not good. First of all, the environment is very poor, and the second is that he can't get into the top class, it doesn't have a dormitory, so he can only rent a room. But when choosing a volunteer, the teacher made it clear that you must be cautious when choosing that school. There is a high chance that there will be no beds, but if you go to the top class, you will definitely have them.

At that time, he thought that with her grades at that time, she could enter the top class. But it's true that with her usual grades, it's really possible for her to get in, but. I was all withdrawn during the high school entrance examination. It's really miserable, a lot of retreats. So he just stepped on the score line, and he definitely won't be in the top class

When he faced this matter, his mentality was already a little bad. Because their family conditions are not particularly good, they still have to rent a house or something, and it is estimated that after adding some of his family's numbers to him, his mentality completely collapsed.

He felt that his father was working too hard to provide for several children to go to school. And I feel that the cost of high school is too high. Xiang shared something for his dad. Actually, I didn't feel anything like him, after all, when I saw the tuition fees when I filled in the volunteers, I also felt sorry for my parents.

But I think he's going to take a leave of absence, which is a very unclear approach, and his recent performances have made me look down on him a little bit.

When I first found out about this, I had already spent a night trying to persuade her, but she didn't change her mind in the end. I insisted on persuading her later, but she still insisted on taking a leave of absence, and in the end I was too lazy to persuade her. Because he really left me speechless

First of all, he just felt that his parents were very hard, but he didn't think that his practice of suspending school would have any psychological pressure on his parents. And it's for themselves, and I think they will feel pressured in their own hearts. I don't think I'm of any use

Of course, this is the case if you can afford to do so.

Then I thought he was thinking about everything too simply and easily. I asked him what to do with your studies in a year's time? He said he could learn while working. I think he's a bit naïve to think about that. I think it's very difficult, because you're tired after a long day at work, how can you still have the heart to study? And it's impossible not to play, you can't help but play. It's like now that you stay at home and don't do anything for a day, you don't want to study when you study, and you say that you are tired and half dead after a day of work, and you are still studying there?

And I think science really needs to be taught by teachers to learn well, and it is difficult for you to be self-taught. Even if you search for courses online, it won't be very useful, because you will definitely have questions about places, but you can't. In the case of liberal arts, teachers should also expand their knowledge and talk about test points

And if something happens on the way, your mentality will still explode. I don't think the salary will be very high if I work at this age. I just graduated from junior high school.

And he doesn't look down on the low salary. I said you can't be in a good state of mind right now, why don't you find some jobs nearby? He said he couldn't find it. But some of my classmates are already working summer jobs. Later he said that the pay was too low......

He wanted to go to other places to work. And then I was thinking, what are you going to do back and forth, renting a house, eating and drinking there? It's worth your salary in a month... It is estimated that I will have to come back at a loss by then.

Then I thought he was very firm in his heart, but when I asked the day before yesterday, I just said but didn't do it, he had already gone to Foshan a few weeks ago. In the days I went, he was playing all the time, not looking for a job! Didn't learn! Then I asked him if he had any intention of taking a leave of absence, and he said he was thinking. That is, there is still that meaning

I'm really from the bottom of my heart now... A little contemptive... While saying that you are sorry for your parents while playing and squandering money, while saying that you want to earn money, and at the same time not looking for a job there, living a chic life there, you can find a lot of excuses.

Let's take a look at the chat history of the two of us.

Chat history

Me: I'm thinking, is this the reason why you are now doing nothing! I don't learn knowledge, I don't go to work, I lie at home all day and think about this and that! I only think about the future, but now I don't do anything!

She:......

Me: I don't think you're in a situation where you're going to be able to do it now, and you'd better think about it now that if you're going to continue studying, you have to start studying now, otherwise you'll have to do it later. Can't keep up at all! Especially science! This is the next lecture on knowledge that you haven't understood at least yet, and there are several subjects in it, and there are all things you don't understand, and it will drive you crazy when the time comes

She: Learn knowledge... You think I don't want to learn...

Me: You think I want to learn! Force yourself to understand what you don't understand

She: I came up (to Foshan) because I wanted to learn, alone

Me: So you're studying?

Her: You try... The room was noisy all day...

Me: It's all excuses, reasons! Why don't you say that the room is noisy all day, how can you still play?

She: I can't sleep.....................,......,

Me: Then you should bring headphones, or buy an anti-noise earbud at night.

She: The point is that she didn't come back...... Anyway, it's very noisy, very noisy,

And...... I'm with my second sister... Innate magnetic field discord

Me: At home, you are annoyed, you are in a bad mood, and when you go out, you say that you are noisy. Then don't go together!

She: She... said that she came to Foshan for two days, and then went to Guangzhou

Me: What were you doing before she came?

She: Posted a meme: play

----------Come to an end--------

Then I don't want to pay attention to him, he can do whatever he likes. I hope he does choose to take a leave of absence...... I hope he won't regret it in the future......

Forget it, let's not talk about it, calm down. So be it

And then I still won't give up on this book, in fact, it's not a book for me now. It's not my task to write about him, anyway, I just want to write it. (It's going to be two years soon~~)

Maybe it's going to be a little long gone, or maybe it's not going to be because I've been studying lately. Because the blow of the high school entrance examination will still affect me, I want to make my high school a little more fulfilling.

Okay, that's it, bye~

2018.7.31