School.

The third year of junior high school begins.

On the first day of school, I heard a message that I didn't know whether to be happy or sorry for.

Flawed dropped out of school.

The students were shocked, after all, they studied very well and were among the best in the class, and the students looked very sorry.

According to the civil engineering teacher, the defect is because the family conditions do not allow it, she is the second child in the family like me, with an older sister and a younger brother, so it seems that I am still relatively lucky, because at this time I have to step into society, which is too difficult for me.

In comparison, at least I can continue my studies.

At this time, my peripheral eyes scanned the body of classmate G again, and he didn't seem to be sad, could it be my delusion?

In the new semester, it was a coincidence that I became the same table as Student G and sat in the third-to-last row of the class, and this system continued for a long time and worked very well.

And I am still eleventh, although I am only one step away from the tenth place, but the most common sentence that the civil engineering teacher has said is: "The top ten will memorize today's English texts and come to my office to check and recite them during class." ”

In terms of learning, everything is based on the top ten.

I was glad for this at the time, because I was very afraid of English classes at that time, especially memorizing English texts, Chinese texts were already very big, let alone English texts, and I still haven't memorized the words. Although it was painful, Mr. Civil was really the best English teacher and the best homeroom teacher I have ever met!

Of course, I don't need to memorize the eleventh place, and I teach the principle according to my aptitude.

However, now that I think about it, if I had to memorize English texts at that time, maybe I would have learned English very well now, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to pass even a level 4 in English.

If you don't push yourself, you never know how good you are.

But I'm a case of failure.

……

Recess.

When everyone went out to play, I was still sitting in my seat, looking at the blackboard and it was a little blurry, slightly unable to see, which was a precursor to myopia.

At that time, I was very strange, I would envy my classmates who wore glasses, especially the classmates at my front table, I liked his black glasses frames, and when no one was paying attention, I quietly took them and wore them, wow! Good dizziness ๑_๑

It's a power that my eyes can't handle.

I only wore it for a second and then took it off, put it back in its original place, my small movements, no one noticed, so far I also lost my love for glasses, it turned out that wearing glasses is so uncomfortable, because I thought that all glasses are the same, I don't know what glasses are.

However, what I do know is that before reading the ebook, my vision is clear and not a trace of blurring.

……

For my character.

At that time, I didn't know that this was inferiority, when others were facing me, I couldn't help but lower my head, I didn't dare to look at them, and when I was next to me, I would glance at them with my peripheral vision, and I didn't dare to turn my head to look at them.

Later, this habit followed me.

It has also become a cold contempt and contempt in the eyes of others, and inexplicable labels come from all of them.

Mr. G, he was right next to me, my tablemate, but I didn't dare to look at him, and I didn't know what to say, and he seemed to be looking for something to talk about.

For example, now "Have you finished your homework?" Give me a reference. ”

I pulled out a neatly wrapped workbook in transparent leather from the pile of books and handed it to him.

He took it and copied it directly, and yes, that's what we call a reference reference.

"That ......" I opened my mouth in a very low voice, cautiously asking, "Why did you drop out of school?" ”

"What?" Student G didn't seem to hear clearly, maybe my voice was too quiet.

He looked at me, and I didn't repeat it, shaking my head to say that it was okay, and lost confidence for a moment. Student G wanted to ask but didn't ask again, but smiled and continued to write the homework in front of him.

I always say it like this again, and I won't say it a second time if others don't hear it, I just think that since I can't hear it, I shouldn't be able to hear it after saying it several times, so why bother! Even I hate myself like that, but what can I do? That's already the case.

In the evening.

"What did you say today?"

After dinner, I borrowed my sister's mobile phone, and I just happened to log in to the button and saw a message from classmate G.

"I'm just asking why I don't go to school?"

Sure enough, the virtual world gave me the courage to say whatever I wanted to say and no longer struggle, just thinking, anyway, it's typing, and others can't see me.

"I don't know, we've been together for a long time."

Not together anymore? I looked at this sentence, not together means they broke up? But what does it have to do with me whether to break up or not, and how many things I don't know, I want to ask him why he likes flaws, but I can't ask, what qualifications do I have to ask!

A lot of people are communicating with me at the same time, and I've already guessed it based on the flaws. This is when a feeling of jealousy and occasional loss arises.

At that time, we seemed to have endless topics to talk about, but now I think about it really naïve, naïve to the extreme. I like to joke because I'm afraid of embarrassment and that people will think I'm boring.

But aren't we exactly what we're supposed to do at that age? Children are characterized by naivety and naivety, and if they are not naïve, then it will be strange.

The most appropriate thing for the moment.

After small talk.

I saw the computer on the table in the living room, and curiously took it out and fiddled with it for a long time, it turned out to be the first prize that my grandfather won when he was drinking, the laptop was very small, but it was not too young for me at that time, because I was young at that time.

After plugging it in, it turned on.

It's amazing.

I watched it with great excitement and anticipation.

This computer has allowed me to work on something amazing, but I don't know it anymore.

Plug in the USB flash drive, move all the songs that have been downloaded from the Internet café into the computer, so that you can choose the songs to listen to at will, listen to whatever you want, and find that some songs have lyrics when playing, and some do not, it may be that the lyrics were not selected when downloading.

After I spent a long time researching how the lyrics were made, I started to make the lyrics myself, opened the book where I copied the lyrics, and typed them word by word, very slowly.

I just learned the nine-key input method,I don't know how to use twenty-six keys at all,A letter is typed up little by little,Before knocking, I have to quickly think of the pinyin of these words in my head。

After typing the lyrics, listen to the seconds of each lyric, enter it, over and over again, the lyrics subtitles are completed, and the scrolling effect is also very good.

Every time I finish the lyrics of a song, I feel a sense of accomplishment, and when I listen to the song repeatedly, I will look at the lyrics many times, I am very satisfied, and I even admire myself a little.

It is said that the computer was brought over by Grandpa, and Dad needed it for business, but then because it was too stuck, Dad was going to bring it back to Grandpa, but Grandpa said that it was useless for him to ask for a computer, so let's keep it.

After going around and around, it finally fell into my hands and became my baby, which also helped me a lot in my later hobbies.

……

My sister was a boarding student at that time, and after school, she plotted a big thing, which was to go to the school to find him.

It's really not seen for a while, like every three autumns!

I was puzzled and couldn't understand it.

The road to the school, on one side of which was a small river, and on the other side of the river was a large expanse of woods, which was nothing during the day, but at night it looked particularly eerie, and I felt terrible just thinking about it, let alone walking through it. There are mountains of gold and silver in front of me, and I don't dare to step on them, and I am still alone.

The night is the moment I fear the most.

Sister is very brave, maybe this is the power of love, but, after many times, she had an accident.

That day, she was still walking on that road, empty, and just when she was about to get to school, a middle-aged man suddenly came over and said, "Help my uncle move things, I can't take it alone." ”

My sister thought about it for a while and agreed, just moving something. The gray sky could only be illuminated by the moonlight, and my sister followed him deep into the woods at the back wall of the school.

At that time, it was really innocent, and I dared to go with strangers without thinking about anything, and it was still night.

After a while, the man showed an evil smile, turned around and pounced on his sister, his lard-like face made people feel disgusted when they saw it, and my sister resisted and struggled and screamed!

He raised his hand and said, "Bang!" After a few heavy slaps, blood flowed out, and it turned out that the slap would really bleed, and it was blood in the teeth.

Sister continued to resist vigorously, as a result, alarmed the teacher who was studying at night in the school, the teacher patrolled, heard the movement, and immediately ran to the back wall of the school as fast as possible, so dangerous, nothing serious.

It's a pity that the disgusting lard skin escaped.

After Dad found out, he went to school to bring my sister back, and the teacher was still concerned about my sister, afraid that she would leave a shadow in her heart, Dad scolded, not caring about the eyes of others at all, as if my sister had done something unseemly.

But she's a victim.

After my mother found out, her first reaction was to scold, scolding my sister for running out at night, in short, everything was only abuse.

I remember very well that they didn't care about my sister's psychology at the time, and they didn't ask much about the process, and the result was that they felt that she had done something wrong and should be beaten and scolded.

We are not allowed to speak out, shame on us.

I looked at her, my heart was sour, my red and swollen face still smelled of blood, and I felt distressed.

However, the truth is that she trembled and sobbed and couldn't speak clearly, no one cared, and I was in a trance, what kind of world is this world......

Later, I asked if my sister had left a shadow or something.

She said no.

At that moment, I admired her ability to endure, and I often thought that if it was me at that time, maybe I would have left, no longer exist, and could not exist.

I always felt that the world was too scary, more terrible than I imagined, especially men, even when I was in school, I rarely talked to boys in person, unless I got acquainted with them.

This incident left a psychological shadow on me.

The world is unfair to girls, why should they feel ashamed in the first place, instead of solving these things, so that there are still those people who have survived to this day.

I've seen a lot of these kinds of news, but the results are almost always the same, just no results.

I don't understand, I don't understand.

The world has too much malice towards girls.

If your first instinct is to be embarrassed, you lose.