Under the leadership of Xia Zichen, I have been playing crazy for a few days, and now I am one

Tourists, everything is changing so fast, and I'm so new to everything.

I was tired of playing, so I sat on the beach with Xia Zichen, facing the sea breeze, watching the waves lapping on the beach wave after wave, my mood also returned to calm, these days, I have a lot of fun, I don't know how many years have not felt this way, I have also seen a lot of old friends, went to a lot of places loaded with my memories, however, there is a place, there is a person, I have been hesitating. I was lost in thought.

Xia Zichen's eyes finally left the stars in the night sky, got up and patted the sand on his body, and slowly took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

"Zi Chen, how can you have smoke? You can smoke"? I was surprised, I never saw him smoke in my memory, and Xia Zichen never smoked.

He didn't pay attention to my words, but sucked on his own, judging by his movements, he was not so skillful, and he coughed twice from time to time.

I watched him as he smoked, puffing on the smoke ring, and finally he took a puff and threw away the cigarette.

"Do you still need to learn cigarettes"? He handed me one as well.

I didn't refuse, in fact, I don't know how to smoke, I just suck it in my mouth and spit it out, I can't enjoy it like those old smokers.

What's the point of smoking, inhaling and spitting out, I can't imagine why I spend money on cigarettes" I threw away more than half of the cigarettes left.

Xia Zichen smiled at me, "You don't know how to smoke at all, you worship me as a teacher another day, I will teach you to smoke, and I promise to make you feel the charm of cigarettes."

"Then you better save it, I won't learn to smoke in my life"!

"What are you going to do next?" Xia Zichen suddenly changed his words. I was a little confused by this question.

"Well, I don't have any plans, play for a while, and then go back to H City."

Xia Zichen's expression instantly became serious, "It's time for you to go home."

When I heard home, my heart beat violently and silenced me, and of course I knew what he meant.

"Dongdong, I know that you have always had this love, otherwise, you would not have returned to D City, since you are back, you should do what you should do the most."

I remained silent and struggled, this time, I took the initiative to take the cigarette from Xia Zichen's hand, lit the cigarette, I learned from Xia Zichen's appearance at that time, and inhaled violently, the cigarette went from the mouth to the throat, and continued to smoke, the smoke went to the stomach, I was choked and blushed, coughing loudly. Second bite, third bite...... I grew accustomed to it, and under this night sky, looking at the smoke rings I exhaled, I closed my eyes, and the fragments of my memories floated out again.

Family? After the age of eleven, I never thought about the place, not because I didn't want to, but I didn't dare, I love to think, I feel that this place has become a void for me, and it has long since perished.

Elementary school, or that era full of memories, I have parents who love me, my father is a pastry chef, my mother has her own clothing store, although I can't compare with the Xia family, but life is also very rich, the table is still three people when I eat, I am in the middle when I go shopping, I can hold a person with my left and right hands, my parents can hold hands romantically, show their affection from time to time, take me to climb the mountain during the holidays, go camping, teach me fishing, teach me to bake bread, he may beat me when I make mistakes, and then continue to take me to eat delicious food, At the parent-teacher conference, my mother must be sitting on my left, and my father must be on my right, and people will say to me, "Your father is so good to you, and your parents are really kind."

I remember when I was nine years old, I had a high fever in the middle of the night, because it was too late, I couldn't get a taxi at all, my father took me to the hospital, the fever was 39 degrees, the doctor once accused my father of what the parents did, and my father also smirked and said to the nurse that he would pay attention in the future, but I didn't know that if it wasn't for him, I might have burned to death!

I especially remember that afternoon, when I came home from school as usual, I saw my father smoking a cigarette, looking so haggard, and the ashtray was already full of cigarette butts.

"Xiaodong, come here, Dad has something to ask you."

"What's the matter, Daddy".

"Wouldn't you be sad if Mom and Dad weren't together?

Later, my mother asked me the same thing, and I finally knew that it was true, and I cried and threatened them with all kinds of reasons, but what could I do to stop it? I'm just a kid! At that time, I didn't know anything about adulthood, let alone marriage, I only knew that these two people were very familiar to me, and I couldn't do without either.

In the courtroom, I sat in the back seat and listened, watching the group of relatives and friends on both sides of the parents, their lawyers were fighting for my custody, and in the end it was my mother who won, and when I walked out the door, I felt like I was in a dream, and I looked back at the tall and serious courthouse, and I felt suffocated.

I can't remember what Dad said to me at the time, but he must have been smiling when he turned to leave, well, I hope so. A week later, I left the city, and it wasn't until a few days ago that I came back.

In H City, what I am most afraid of is not the cultural difference, nor the temperature difference, or even the fear of not having friends, but every time I have a parent-teacher meeting, people will ask me why only your mother and your father come every time, and every time the name of the parent signature column, father _ mother_. Whenever people ask me why I don't stay in D, I prefer to come to a small border town. I am most afraid to see the father of my classmates send them warm clothes, the conversation between father and son, the most afraid of seeing a family of three shopping on the street, the child crying to eat sugar gourd, the mother will not let me, at this time the father bought a string for the child, and added a toy, I will turn my back and try not to look at the picture, really, I hate to see, maybe because I have never felt the father's love again, I can no longer feel it, oh......

Later, I learned that my father got married, and I think that now I have a beautiful child and wants to eat sugar gourds, so someone will buy it for him.

I threw away the cigarette butt and was about to light another one, only to find that the box was empty, and the floor was full of cigarette butts.

"Well, smoke is a good thing, it seems that you are not a small addict," Xia Zichen said expressionlessly while holding his hands.

"What did I do just now" I swallowed, only to realize that my throat was deadly dry.

"You're like a zombie with a talisman, motionless, and occasionally smoking a cigarette."

I don't think I'm a zombie, just a normal walking corpse.

"There are some things that you have to face, you can't escape" Xia Zichen said to me again.

"Escape, escape, escape, I'm fucking fed up, I don't know since when, escape has long been my weapon, I have no weapon, how to protect myself"! All of a sudden, my emotions spiraled out of control. But I felt a sense of pleasure and finally spoke my heart.

As soon as he finished speaking, Xia Zichen grabbed me by the collar, "That's your father, that's your home, if you have to escape this, you're too disappointing, do you want to be the one who hides behind the door and hides in a dark corner forever"!

"Zichen, what do you think is home".

He didn't answer my question directly, but asked me rhetorically, "What do you think of home?"

I let go of his hand, "Home?" It is enough for three people to eat at the table.

At this time, the sea breeze is also stronger, rolling up the sand on the beach, making people afraid to open their eyes, and the couples in the distance also begin to slowly leave, and the tide is not beating on the beach.

Xia Zichen ignored my answer, followed the wind, and slowly disappeared on the beach.