"What is he afraid of?" Zhen Zhen asked Xu Haoran. Mrs. Xu listened nervously.

"......" Xu Haoran lowered his eyebrows and did not answer.

"I think he'll be scared of something like this in the future, right?" Zhen Zhen asked.

Xu Haoran glanced up at Zhen Zhen and asked anxiously, "Will it?"

"He's safe now, his mom and family, me, and many others will protect him, and you and the rest of the kids won't be harmed. Do you think that's right? Zhen Zhen replaced "he" with "you".

"I'm not afraid." Xu Haoran's voice was not very loud when he said these three words.

"It's okay to be afraid. It is not a bad thing to be afraid, and a child who is afraid is not a bad child. In the face of such an event, it is quite normal to have a lot of reactions. I was also by the river that day, and I was also nervous and scared. Zhen Zhen said.

"What are you afraid of?" Xu Haoran heard someone admit that he was afraid for the first time in the past few days, and all along, adults have been persuading him to "don't be afraid", but he was just scared, and he didn't dare to say it, so he had to not speak.

"I also have family by the river. My mother and brother are watching dragon boats. I was afraid that something would happen to them or get hurt, and I was afraid that they would leave me alone. Zhen Zhen said.

Xu Haoran's body trembled a little. Mrs. Xu rarely heard her son say so many words, and she couldn't help but be impressed in her heart.

Zhen Zhen beckoned to Mrs. Xu and said to Song Haoran: "Let my mother hug me, what are you afraid of, say it, no one will blame you."

As soon as Mrs. Xu hugged her son, Xu Haoran cried out with a "wow". Mrs. Xu was a little at a loss and didn't know whether to comfort her son from crying. She saw that Zhen Zhen seemed to be intent on letting her son vent.

Zhen Zhen walked up to Mrs. Xu and whispered, "It's okay, let him cry for a while." Just hold him. ”

After about half a burn of incense, Xu Haoran's crying gradually stopped, Mrs. Xu took out a handkerchief to wipe his tears, he sobbed and said, "Mother, I'm so worried that I can't see you and Daddy." I can't see my brother and sister anymore. I'm so scared it's just me and my sister. ”

Zhen Zhen understood what Xu Haoran meant, although he was with his wet nurse when he left the river that day, he didn't see his parents, and he still felt that he was not solid enough, and he was abandoned.

Zhen Zhen whispered to Mrs. Xu again: "Say that you have always been there and will not leave."

Mrs. Xu hurriedly hugged her son tightly and said, "Son! Dad and Mom have always been by your side and won't leave you. ”

Zhen Zhen bowed his head in approval.

Xu Haoran in his mother's arms gradually calmed down.

Outside the house, the incense of timekeeping was burning, and Hongyun waved the fan in his hand at Zhen Zhen, indicating that the time had come.

Zhen Zhen said to Mrs. Xu: "This disaster will make the child's heart very upset, and his feelings need to be said to be more comfortable, and the child's reaction to his fear is quite normal, and usually it doesn't last long." All adults have to do is to let the child speak up, accompany the child, and listen to the child. ”

"Isn't it necessary to say something to comfort the child?" Mrs. Xu asked.

"No, I don't. What you say is your opinion on things. It's you who think he needs some guidance, but IMHO, that's a very wrong thing to do, because most of what you're saying at this time is to make your heart less anxious. These words are actually nonsense to the child's fear. What really works is that you are by your child's side, as it is now, and that is enough. ”

"Oh!" Mrs. Xu suddenly realized.

"I'm sorry, I was a little blunt and sharp, but this is just to deepen your impression, and I have no intention of offending you."

"Whereever, Miss Zhen is so polite. According to you, when a child is afraid, the more adults tell him not to be afraid, the more useless it is? Mrs. Xu asked.

"If it worked, you wouldn't have come to me with your children."

"That's right."

"Children may be afraid of the dark, afraid of leaving their parents, afraid of being alone, having some worries that seem unnecessary to adults, biting their fingers, having nightmares, headaches or complaining of discomfort, and so on."

"Are these normal?" Mrs. Xu asked.

"These are the child's distress signals. He was shouting, Daddy and Mom come and save me. ”

"Then how should I save it?"

"That's what I just said, stay with your child, listen to him, tell him he's safe. When children speak their hearts, they can clear out their inner discomfort like taking out the trash, and then they can be happy. ”

"I seem to get some of it." Mrs. Xu nodded and said.

"When you go back, you can talk to the children about the Dragon Boat Festival. Hear how they all feel. Maybe you'll get something bigger. Zhen Zhen said with a smile.

and Mrs. Xu made an appointment to meet tomorrow in the "group activities" of the Luguo Mansion and a one-on-one meeting five days later, and Mrs. Xu left with the children.

Zhen Zhen asked Hongyun, who had been listening, "What do you think about today's events?"

Hongyun thought for a moment and said, "I've actually been trying to say something comforting to this kid. And you say, don't tell him not to be upset. Is that how it should be---- if you are sad, you will be sad, I will accompany you to be sad and say nothing. ”

The corners of Zhen Zhen's mouth were raised high: "That's what it means." It's called acceptance. Unconditional acceptance, when something happens, the other party is right regardless of joy, anger or sorrow. As for why he is happy, angry, sad, or happy, and what reasons behind it prompt him to choose this way, this is what we need to study and intervene in. ”

Hongyun seems to understand: "Unconditional acceptance, why do you like ......?"

Zhen Zhen said: "When is the next one?" It's almost there, right? ”

Sure enough, it didn't take long for the porter to report that Cheng Guangqi's wife from Jianping Bofu came with her seven-year-old daughter Cheng Jiao.

The little girl gave Zhen Zhen the impression that she was still relatively introverted the day before, and her voice was soft.

Mrs. Cheng is in her thirties, tall, brightly dressed, with a gorgeous appearance, long armor on her fingers, and a crisp voice, and she is an extraordinarily introverted person.

As soon as she sat down in the study, she couldn't wait to explain her intention to Zhen Zhen: "Our Cheng family can be regarded as the founding heroes of the country back then. Over the years, relying on the emperor's gifts and the protection of the ancestors, I have lived a pretty good life. Ajiao is my eldest daughter, and she will definitely marry the eldest son and grandson of a rich and noble family in the future and preside over the family's affairs. But don't look at her not small, she is as timid as a mouse. Every day I talk like a mosquito. I've taught her how many times, but I can't change it. Like her, if she marries out, she won't be bullied by her husband's concubines? How to run a family? I'm worried about this! Later, I heard from Sister Chen that you have a way, so I begged her to find an opportunity to help with the introduction, and please give me some advice. I'm willing to pay double the fee. ”

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