The story is a bit hard to understand, a little incredible, and even a little absurd, but that's what OCD looks like.

Tidying up the room today, a photo fell out of a big box, it was a photo of my high school girlfriend, her name was Luo Qianxiu. She herself is as beautiful as her name, excellent, beautiful, especially her big eyes, as charming as autumn water, bright as stars. Qianxiu's physical appearance is impeccable, but her psychology is full of holes, and she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. Medically speaking, this disease is an immortal cancer, and people who haven't seen it may not believe it, but I believe it anyway, I have seen Qianxiu devoured and destroyed by this disease、、、、、、

That year, beautiful youth, enthusiastic boys and girls.

Qianxiu is the school flower, and the suitors around her line up at the gate of the school.

One day, the school held a beauty contest, a very special competition, to see who had the most beautiful eyes.

Qianxiu won the championship, and that day, she wore a sky-blue chiffon dress and stood on the podium with a smile, like a fairy concubine.

Since then, Qianxiu has taken more care of her eyes, she no longer stays up late, and she has also corrected her sitting posture for homework.

It happened for no reason, and one day after lunch, Qianxiu came up to me and said, "Xiaoya, what if my eyes are not perfect?" Do you know? There is a parasite that grows specifically on the eyeball, and slowly the eyeball turns yellow and becomes blind. What if I have a parasite in my eye? ”

I looked at her strangely and said, "How can you have such a ridiculous idea?" No, don't worry so much. ”

She nodded and said, "yes, how can I have such a ridiculous idea." "No!" She said suddenly, startling me, "I have to go to the hospital for a check-up to be relieved." ”

At that time, I didn't know that she had a mental problem, so I accompanied her to the People's Hospital.

The results of the examination came back and everything was normal.

"Now you are relieved, right? People, you can't think blindly, let alone think about bad things, why don't you even understand this truth? I said.

She smiled sheepishly and nodded again.

In the next few days, Qianxiu was in a good mood, happy and bright.

However, after a few days, she began to doubt again, and she thought about parasites every day, so much that she couldn't eat, couldn't listen to classes, and was dumbfounded.

"Xiaoya," she said, with a melancholy expression, "what if I have a parasite in my eye?" ”

I got a little impatient and said, "Didn't you get checked?" ”

"But," she said, seeing that I was not in a good attitude, she resigned, "that day is that day, and what if I enter it now?" ”

"In case, in case, where is there so much in case, don't you worry about checking again! Don't come and talk to me, incredible! I said angrily.

Qianxiu really went to check again.

From then on, she checked every few days, until one day, she came to me crying and said, "Xiaoya, they don't check me anymore, and a little nurse scolds me for being a nervous path." ”

I put down the pen in my hand and said to her solemnly and calmly: "Your thoughts are really unreasonable, how can you think about bad things every day, even if bad things happen, people still think about the good, don't blame me for speaking badly, let's be honest, you should go to a mental hospital to investigate." ”

Qianxiu listened to my words and really went to a psychiatric hospital, and even went to the best psychiatric hospital in the provincial capital. Two days later, she came back with a medical certificate and a large bag of medicines, both Western and Chinese.

"Obsessive-compulsive disorder?" I looked at the diagnosis and was puzzled

"Yes," she said, "the doctor told me that it was complicated, but fortunately, I felt the disease myself, and I understood what she said, and the more I cared about it, the more I worried about it, the more I asked for perfection from it, and I was always worried about whether it would have problems, so I began to worry, if I was a normal person, I just thought about it, I didn't care, I didn't believe that bad things would happen, but the patient was different, the patient didn't think about the good, he worried every day, he was worried every minute and every second, he thought about it again and again, and bad thoughts and normal thoughts overturned each other. This is called obsessive thoughts, and most of me belong to this type, and there is also a type of compulsive behavior, such as repeatedly checking whether the door is locked, sending out messages for typos, and putting away the wrong amount of money. These two conditions do not occur in patients alone, although they occur at the same time, which is more important. The onset of the disease is very painful because of the anxiety that accompanies it. ”

Listening to her words, two villains with a white and a purple appeared in my mind, according to the story, this is an angel and a devil, but here, it should be a fight between normal thinking and abnormal thinking.

I nodded, as if I didn't understand, and said, "You care about your eyes so much that you're always worried about it, and then you're anxious?" ”

"Yes." She said.

Qianxiu understood her situation, took medicine, and quickly recovered her spirits, and there were no more absurd thoughts.

I began to be curious about this disease, there is really such a strange disease in the world, I checked on the Internet, and found that there are really many patients with this disease, basically perfectionists, some are born with this disease, and some are acquired. The patient's self-awareness is intact, knowing that there is no need to worry, but still can't control himself, because of the strong anxiety, the patient is very painful, and will affect the physical health, the chance of cure of this disease is very small, it will recur again and again, and even some patients will rely on drugs for a lifetime to maintain, this disease also has a nice nickname, called "the magic of thinking." "There are too few patients who can get out of the "thinking curse", and I hope that Qianxiu can go out.

I began to care about Chisui, and I was no longer impatient with her.

I don't know when it started, Qianxiu began to be anxious again, her face was haggard, and she said, "Xiaoya, after listening to the medicine, it came to torture me again." ”

"Let's go buy some medicine." I say.

She smiled bitterly and said: "It's too expensive, more than 2,000 at a time, how can my family have so much money, besides, taking medicine doesn't necessarily work, the bell must be tied to the bell, psychopathy, or you have to go out slowly, you know?" Taking too many psychotropic drugs will have side effects, and people's brains will become sluggish, and they will become dementia before they get old. Either way, I'm going to finish. ”

I didn't know how to comfort her, I saw her lying in the corner of my desk, her face as thin and sallow as a dead leaf, her eyes were melancholy, the corners of her mouth were slightly upturned, as if she was smiling but not smiling, and she was very bitter. I suddenly felt a sense of coldness, I felt that under Qianxiu's normal skin, the inside had long been occupied by the devil, this devil had no regular shape, it was abstract and distorted, it filled Qianxiu's body, and finally broke out of the cocoon and ruined her. This is the distorted spiritual world.

Qianxiu began to pick her eyes every day, saying that she wanted to dig out the parasite. She looked in the mirror, opened her eyelids, her eyes were red and tearful, and she didn't give up. Her pointed fingers touched something from her eyeballs and said to me, "Look, parasite. "I hurried over to see that there was nothing. Later I thought it was just her self-comforting, maybe it was a hallucination caused by a great deal of anxiety.

Gradually, Qianxiu stopped attending classes, sat in the dormitory every day to catch parasites, and bought a lot of drugs to treat insects, some taken orally, and some sprayed on the eyes.

It seems that her condition is getting worse and worse, her complexion is very bad, the image of the whole person has become very decadent, if you talk to her, her eyes wander, her heart is heavy, yes, she is thinking about her mind there, parasites are all her thoughts.

One night after the end of self-study, I was the first to go back to the dormitory, just sat on the bed, the door opened, there was a person standing at the door, I looked back, the person's hair was unkempt, his pajamas were put on his body, and he stood there motionless、、、、、、

Qianxiu's food has also changed, she doesn't eat fish anymore, she doesn't eat meat anymore, and it is said that fish has the most parasites and will crawl into her eyes along the blood vessels.

Half a year later, Chishide's body was withered, and she told me, "Hey, you know what? I stopped my menstruation from suffering from this disease, and it has been three months, and it hasn't come. ”

Qianxiu's grades also plummeted, and in a mock exam, he was the first from the bottom, "Alas, I can't concentrate, listening to classes, doing homework, and taking exams, and the worry of parasites will suddenly break into my mind." She said.

Her classmates had long since discovered her weirdness, and gradually no one talked to her, and none of the boys who pursued her were gone.

I remember that Saturday night, my roommates all went home, and I didn't go home because my parents were busy with farm work and couldn't take care of me, so I didn't go home, and Qianxiu didn't go home either, so I guess she was not in the mood to go home. In the middle of the night, I heard someone crying, humble, weird and scary, I opened my eyes and listened carefully to the source of the sound, the crying was in the dormitory, I raised my head from the pillow and looked around at the dormitory, the dormitory was dark, a table lamp was glowing faintly on the table, there was a person sitting in front of the table, blocking the light, it was that person crying, Qianxiu was crying. I was suddenly scared and looked out the window at the swaying branches, there was always wind outside. I got up from the bed, put on my clothes, and gently and slowly came to Qianxiu's back, I patted her on the shoulder and said, "Qianxiu, what are you crying about?" Qianxiu turned around all of a sudden, my scalp exploded all of a sudden, screamed, and fell backwards, I sat on the ground, my hands propped up behind my back, and looked at her with wide eyes, Qianxiu slowly stood up, she stopped crying at this time, and stood there calmly, and the eyeballs rolling around her face were also still, "Hey, hey, hey, hey," she smiled lowly, and said, "Liberated, dig it out and be liberated." After speaking, she suddenly grabbed the table lamp behind her and smashed it to the ground, "Haha! Relief, finally relief, hahahaha、、、、、、" She laughed and jumped up and down like crazy.

In the dark dormitory, a warm orb hit my face and rolled to the ground, I know, it was Qianxiu's eyes, eyes、、、、、、