The sun in September is finally not so hot, the acne on my face has gradually subsided, I got up and drank a glass of cereal, my stomach felt warm, walking on the balcony, looking at the endless traffic on the bridge, the bustling crowd, I don't know why my heart always reveals a sadness.

No matter how hot the sun is, it will eventually go down, and no matter how many cars there are late at night, the disgust for me in her heart will never go away, and this is the biggest mistake I have made.

Looking back, I still remember her smile, the warmth still exists, but in retrospect, it is no longer a sweet smile, but quietly falling tears, I actually don't like her so much at all, just reluctant to her, more of a self-blame, why am I so stupid, even a person I like, I can't keep someone who wants to be good to her, I really fail, every time I think of this, my heart hurts, I can't wait for a fire to burn all my memories, no pain, no goodbye.

When I sat in the cold chair, I saw the thousand paper cranes you gave me, but I put it in a box, when did I take it out? I picked it up cautiously, remembering a few months ago.

"Hah! Feed me one. I said, opening my mouth and half-kneeling beside her.

"Don't~" she covered her mouth and laughed.

"Just feed one." As I spoke, I happily closed my eyes and looked forward to it.

I only felt a smooth and delicate chocolate ball delivered to my mouth, and I chewed happily and looked at her affectionately.

"Haha! Thanks, it's time for me to go. After feeding, I chewed and reluctantly said goodbye to her.

"Wait a minute." She stopped me from behind, and I looked back at her, and she was folding something in her seat with the chocolate wrappers she had fed me, and I walked over to her back and whispered in her ear, "What are you folding?" She was taken aback by me and scolded with a smile: "Ah~, it scared me to death." ”

I smirked when she suddenly handed me a golden paper crane, and I carefully picked it up and exclaimed, "It's beautiful." I liked what she gave me, and after looking at it for a long time, she smiled and said to me, "All right, you should go back." I nodded, held the crane in my hand, and "carried" it all the way home, because I was afraid that it would be crushed in my pocket.

Thinking of this, my heart suddenly felt a cramp, my face was distorted, I took a deep breath, forcibly suppressed the emotions in my heart, took out a few bottles of beer from the refrigerator, drank it sullenly, wine is a good thing, smelled its disgusting taste, drank the constant lovesickness, a hot breath surged up my chest, and finally let out a long sigh, tears finally flowed, I am a person who doesn't cry often, but she seems to have opened my tear valve and flowed in my heart.

I often think, if you are a mountain, then I have to climb it anyway, if you are a vast ocean, then I have to paddle a small wooden boat to the other side of you, but you are nothing, I don't know how to find you.

You always think that things are so serious, everything in the world can heal you, you always refuse to let go of yourself, when you are hurt, others will sympathize with you, but they will soon forget, the appearance of your tears is not beautiful, I only remember that you shed six drops, after seeing you shed tears that night, my heart softened all of a sudden, and I no longer blame you, even if you are not for me, even if you really never felt for me, but I still don't want you to be hurt, this is the only time I see you cry, I don't know how many times you cried in the depths of the night, I don't know, I don't want to know, I just know that you cry ugly, even if it's been so long, I hate you so many times, but when I think of how you were wronged, my ridiculous self-esteem instantly collapsed, I couldn't help but comfort you, I couldn't help but shed tears for you.

Under which gazebo, you and I are wearing school uniforms, under which gazebo, how happy you and I are, you stand up and walk beside me in heightened shoes, but even then you are still not as tall as me, I can still compare you to you, three years later, you and I have a simple date, you are wearing white flat high heels, standing on my left, your head is almost to my ear, you grow so fast, you always say that you are no longer the girl under the gazebo, you always say that you like the girl under the gazebo, right? You always say that the stars in your eyes are no longer there, you feel that you have changed just that you have experienced more things in the past three years, and your perception of feelings has changed, but I believe that deep down in your heart you are still the second in your mind, naïve about things, sincere to friends, and persistent in blue sky, white clouds and chocolate, it has become not you and me, but this collapsed world, rain and tears blend together, making me unable to see clearly.

I've been talking to the red exclamation point for a long time, reluctant to leave, even more reluctant to delete, nightmarish memories envelop me, what I think about the most is how you are so ignorant as a woman, you use your brain capacity to think about it, is it really necessary for us to be what we are now, and your ex was cold and violent and finally injured yourself, and I made myself uncomfortable because of a misunderstanding, is it really necessary for you to seriously think about it? This world is already noisy enough, and I can't think about it, I've been adding a burden to myself and me, you always don't want to argue, you like to hold your heart, okay! So what do you end up with? You will only make yourself more and more sinking, you might as well want to open some, accept and tolerate more, you must not tell me anything I understand, you understand, you try more, try more, it's really normal to fail, don't feel tired, you hold things in your heart, do you think it's okay? You're going to pay it back later, do you think that's how you grow up? You are really naïve to the extreme.

In fact, I'm also a paranoid person, I'm also not calm, sometimes I always do something to hurt everyone, I'm super afraid of losing you, so I always can't help but bother you, I just want you to listen to me explain, I was very panicked at the time, and you are always dominated by your own emotions, you are also blocking yourself, and in the end we are getting more and more messy, and it becomes like this.

Now I don't want to ask for anything anymore, I just want to take care of myself first, your poor brain capacity and the ideas of the so-called girlfriends around you will kill you sooner or later, you think about your own problems more when you are okay in the future, and ask yourself more in your heart if the way you deal with problems is "worth it", otherwise you will always be trapped in this alley, the sick psychology of the dark little citizens.

In the final analysis, the story of you and me is not beautiful, there is no friendship like childhood sweethearts, there is no romance of life and death, there are only the cold mobile phone screens, and the thousand paper cranes that exude your taste.