It's been a sunny day for a few days, it's not raining for a long time, the weather is hot, the flowers and plants on the side of the road are wilting and rolling, and they are covered with thick dust, which looks very old, like fake flowers and fake grass discarded in the warehouse. As she walked along the road, she wilted from the direct sunlight, just like her temperament, and perhaps out of boredom, she pinched a trumpet flower on the side of the road, crushed the petals and threw them into the air, sometimes on the ground, until only the calyx remained, and her destination was not yet reached. The road was in disrepair, potholed, like a ribbon bent into the distance, and at the end, there were several snack bars, such as beef tendon noodle shop, fried bun shop, flatbread shop, and a small restaurant, although the restaurant was not big and dirty, but it tasted very good, and this girl named Ping Ping was going to this small restaurant to eat. She takes turns to eat at these restaurants, and in the past month, she has eaten in restaurants for half a month, only one at noon, because it is not a big pot dish, and the price of the dish is higher, but there are no stores around this that sell cheap dishes, and this is the only one that wants to eat. Although Apple is worried about money, people have to eat vegetables. She can only choose to eat at noon, because the rented house is very small, the landlord's south house, and the landlord's rules are not allowed to allow tenants to cook, for fear of fire, Ping Ping will not cook, she buys two meals a day outside, and does not eat in the morning, and she can't remember when she raised this habit. Renting a house in an urban village, there are no small shops around for stir-frying, only a few small rice stalls on the roadside, nothing more than pancakes, grilled sausages and the like. So, Apple Apple eats a dish at noon and buys a pancake in the evening.

Apple Ping works in a garment factory, which is also on this street, a long distance from the food selling place at the end, a full three miles away, and the factory has no choice but to trek to this place. Maybe because she walked too much every day, her sandals were worn out and made a "squeak" sound, but these were still newly bought sandals, she couldn't help but feel sorry and a sense of annoyance - why so far! It's not that she doesn't have transportation, she has an old bicycle and rides to and from work every day, and the reason why she doesn't ride when she buys food at noon is because the weather is so hot, the ground is so hot that she almost steam her eggs, and she is afraid of a puncture. She is a person who is afraid of trouble, if the bicycle is really broken, she has to find a repair location, which makes her have a headache when she thinks about it, so she especially cherishes her car.

Finally, the diner arrives, slanting diagonally down the street, and Apple walks inside. The restaurant is not large, the kitchen is on the right hand side of the door, the door is blocked by a curtain, greasy, every time Apple pays Ping, she stands at the kitchen door to greet the chef inside, who is also the owner, and hands him the money, she glimpses the black paste on the kitchen wall. Walking inside, go down two or three steps to the dining room, with three tables on the left and right, and a wide aisle in the middle, and another table near the door. The hall was very cool, and the two large ceiling fans were whirling and turning. Apple had already said hello to the boss and asked for a plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes, and then she walked down to the restaurant and sat down in the middle of the left-hand side, which was where she sat every day, and there was a boy in the restaurant today besides her, drinking beer and eating clams, and at the table in the middle, facing in, Apple was a girl who was shy when she saw a boy, so she sat face in, so she turned her back to him. Pingping is 23 years old, but she has not experienced love, she is not unwanted, but she does not dare, she has no self-confidence, she knows that she is not beautiful, and even a little ugly, and she can't get into the eyes of men, so she always avoids love things, and even feels that she can't have it, and she doesn't deserve to have such a beautiful thing as love. She dropped out of high school in her first year, stayed at home for a year, and then came out to work, she worked in supermarkets, restaurants and other service industries, but on that occasion there were many young people and many peers, and she would be ridiculed and ridiculed by them from time to time, watching them flirt with laughter, Pingping was jealous and envious, and felt sad again. She is an introverted and timid personality, no opinions, no articulate person, whenever she is attacked by her colleagues, she does not dare to resist, just silently, or pretend not to hear, she explains to herself that she is not good-looking, if she fights back, won't she be subjected to more vicious verbal violence? Scolding people's shortcomings is the most hurtful, her shortcomings are on the face, everyone can see it, everyone catches her weaknesses at once, and then the victory is in hand, the fighting spirit is high, come on, hurt each other, see who is powerful, who wins! She was naturally afraid, and she could even guess what poisonous words those people had prepared in their stomachs to spit out her, so she chose to compromise and not let those words pop out of those people's mouths. After a long time, people saw her as honest and even more unscrupulous, she couldn't stand it anymore, resigned and fled, and after careful consideration, she suddenly understood that she couldn't stay with people of the same age, they were arrogant and arrogant, and they liked to bully people like her the most. So, in a fit of rage, she went into the small factory, where most of the women were married in their thirties and forties, and Apple thought that they were old, and that they knew what to say and what not to say, and at least they wouldn't humiliate her openly.

Ping Ping went to the sewing workshop of a garment factory, she learned to make clothes, and she gradually fell in love with making clothes, not only because it was fun, but also because it was monotonous, there were not so many worries, and she didn't have to see too many people, she just had to keep her head down, and with her head down, it was as if she was hiding her appearance, which was exactly what she wanted. But after a long time, she found that this is not an ideal place, as is to say, where there are people, there is fighting, and there is no absolute peace and grace in this world. Apple noticed that some women liked to tell sexually charged jokes, and she began to think about her, and after a long time, she saw that she was honest, and she didn't have any scruples, she understood the strange look in the way they looked at her when they told those kinds of jokes, and the message from that look was, "It's a virgin, right?" She understands, right? Then they smiled vaguely, and that smile was meaningful. These unqualified women seem to have more pleasure and more energetic conversation about this kind of topic in front of a little girl. Apple is disgusted and scared, but what can she do? Only pretending not to hear, and coming out to stop it will only make her the target of public criticism, and when the time comes, some choking words and piercing laughter will pour into her ears. This is also where she is smart, pretending to be deaf and dumb and ignoring it. Gradually, the women found it boring, and when they told jokes again, they took care of themselves, and no longer had to provoke the little girl with their eyes. Pingping's sewing machine was in the first row, and she could hear the chaos behind her back, the words that made her blush pierced her like thorns, and her ears suddenly moved, uncontrollably, she didn't know that her ears would move, maybe the words behind her were too piercing, but she heard a woman behind her, who seemed to be very enthusiastic, "You people, don't you see a little girl?" Don't talk about it. "The tone is vivid, how can there be persuasive calmness? It's clear that I want to involve Apple and wait for someone to comment on it, and it's true! Someone said that Apple's neighbors sang and harmonized, "Little girl? How do you know? "Hahahahahaha......ha Apple's heart pounded, and even she didn't know if she was scared or angry. It's not that she doesn't want to scold back, but she doesn't know how to scold, how to say, she has never encountered this kind of embarrassing thing, and when she remembered how to fight back, most of the day had passed. She is so stupid, so confused, the more she doesn't speak, the more she doesn't know how to speak, and the language center in her brain is about to rust to death, maybe it has already rusted to death.

This forbearance has brought greater hidden dangers to Pingping, and her future life will be even more difficult, everyone thinks she is a bully, and the eyes look at her are not right, as if Pingping is an outlier, and the squad leader also comes to insert a knife, and the work assigned to her is either difficult to do, or the unit price is too low. Although the people here don't know how to respect people, and people's inferiority is vividly displayed, isn't it also that Ping Ping herself is not angry? She doesn't fall into this situation with a single look, is it really inferiority that makes her a piece of wood?

Some of the people here are really bored, and when Apple first arrived, she was working one day and suddenly heard the woman at the table in front of her talking to a woman on the packaging next door, who seemed to be going to the bathroom, and when she passed by, she whispered to the woman inspecting the goods, "There's a new person in your workshop?" Or a little girl? The woman inspecting the goods whispered, "What little girl?" And he said, "Yes, there are no little girls now, they are all little girls." This quickly agreed, "That's it, it's all little girls." ”

Pingping was very angry and shocked when she heard this, although her education level was not high, she was still surprised that people's upbringing was so low. One afternoon, Apple was indignant, what a little girl, I'm a little girl!

In fact, this kind of topic, if it is put on other girls, they may not care, but Apple Ping is different, she is extremely repulsive to men and women, psychologically speaking, or the reason for inferiority, no one hates this kind of thing, she is no exception, but she feels that she does not deserve it, cruel but factually, it is disgusting for men and women to happen to extremely ugly women, since others think that if she does this kind of thing is disgusting, it is better to draw a line with this kind of thing, and be a virgin, so that others will not think she is disgusting. Therefore, she wants others to know that she is an ugly, but not disgusting ugly person.

Everyone says behind Apple's back that Apple is honest, and honesty is not normal. Gradually, even the little boss selling beef tendon noodles at the end of the road saw that she was strange, and Ping Ping had been on the road for four months since she came to the garment factory. She went back and forth at noon every day, alone, with her head down, looking weak, they must all wonder where this girl came from, what she was doing, some people can't accept people who look different, slowly, this little boss and his wife began to look at her with curious eyes. Once, when Ping Ping passed by the beef tendon noodle shop to buy flatbread, the boss and his wife stopped what they were doing and looked at her with a sneering look in their eyes and mouth, only to hear the mother-in-law exclaim, "Strange man~", and the boss smiled approvingly. Since then, Apple has never gone to their place to eat noodles again.

Now, after eating the scrambled eggs with tomatoes and preparing to go back, the store is empty, and the business of this shop is quite good, because it is a restaurant, people come to eat together, and sometimes a table of migrant workers, like her, who comes to the restaurant alone and often, is not seen at all.

"I thought you were an apprentice."

At first, after Apple came a few times, the restaurateur said to Apple. He was a man in his forties.

Apple shook her head and said, "No. "No more words.

"You're from the factory?" The boss asked again.

Apple nodded and smiled silly, knowing that she didn't dare to speak, and she couldn't make facial expressions, which was the result of years of low self-esteem and bowing her head. She was often embarrassed by her actions, and this time was no exception. She felt useless.

The boss saw that she was sullen and seemed to be a little stupid, so he didn't talk to her anymore, and his attitude was light, even though she was a regular customer.

Now that Apple had paid, she suddenly said, "You see I eat at your place a lot, can you give me a cheaper price?" This dish is too expensive for a plate, give me 10 yuan, right? "She usually eats dishes for 12 or 15 yuan.

The boss smiled and said, "Okay." ”

Apple Ping happily went back, thinking she had picked up a big bargain before she was deeply involved in the world.

By the next day, she was disappointed to find that there were fewer dishes on her plate and fewer eggs. She understood. But she didn't say anything, it was enough for her to eat, she couldn't eat a plate at all before, but in order not to waste it, she stuffed it every time.

The boss had an unhappy look on his face from then on, probably feeling that he was still losing.

On this day, Ping Ping asked for a piece of beans, and when she ate it, she felt that the vegetable oil was astringent and not so delicious, and she thought that this dish was the same taste, and thought that she would not order this dish in the future.

However, when she went to work in the afternoon, Apple noticed that something was wrong, and she suddenly felt dizzy while standing on the spool, but luckily grabbed the corner of the machine's table in time. Since eating that dish, I've been nauseous all afternoon, and it seems that this dizziness is also due to this.

Since then, Pingping has never entered a restaurant again, and with her honest and cowardly personality and fear of trouble, she has not settled accounts with the boss.

The restaurateur just picked up Apple in this way, I don't know what ingredients he used, maybe he just knew it didn't taste good, and he didn't know it would make people dizzy, right?

Pingping has become a regular customer of the fried bun shop again, and the owner is gentle and honest, so he doesn't feel much trouble for her. Once, when Apple Ping passed by a restaurant, the owner's wife was sitting on a small bench in front of the store, and she saw Apple coming and looked at her with strange eyes.

Apple Ping is very distressed about her situation, she wants to find a boyfriend to take care of and protect her, what is it if she is alone like this? This job was found for her by her cousin-in-law, who didn't like her much, and was sad and disdainful of her honesty, and found her a job completely in her mother's face. My cousin-in-law helped her rent a house, and after leaving, I didn't see her again, and I didn't call to care for her. My cousin's home is in the neighborhood next door to the urban village, across the street distance, the community is very prosperous, and the cousin-in-law lives in a beautiful building, coaxing the children and enjoying the love of my cousin. She lives in a kennel-like rental house and has lost contact with her cousin-in-law. Fortunately, she has backbone, and no matter how difficult it is, she doesn't come to the door to ask for anything. My cousin naturally knew about her coming here to work and rent a house, but I didn't see my cousin once.

The landlord's yard set up a tin pergola, making the whole yard dark and gloomy, the south house where she lived could not be exposed to the sun, it was dark and damp, sleeping on the bed, only felt the moisture drilling into the cracks of the bones, her knees sometimes drilled pain, she had never caught a cold, she was soaked in this humidity and caught a cold twice.

Although Ping Ping has the idea of finding a boyfriend, she always has no confidence, she chatted with a nice boy on the Internet, just in the city next door, doing her own small business, because Ping Ping is embarrassed to open a video, the two only type and chat, but the chat is good, the boy proposes to meet, but Ping Ping hesitates, see or not? She wavered and caused the boy to lose confidence and cut off contact.

Pingping later chats with several boys online, but she doesn't have the confidence to meet them, which gradually makes them lose patience and even delete her.

Apple's resignation stems from a woman's remark to her, a young woman who loves beauty, and says, "Apple, why are you so honest, you're so inactive, what boy would like you?" This place is a place for us women, who is here for the little girl? Look at the girls who sell clothes and work in supermarkets, how brightly dressed and white they look, what kind of environment makes what kind of people. I'm just old, and if I'm young, I'll go there no matter how low the salary is, and I won't be able to catch up with the good times. I think you should go there, you can find a good partner to work in that kind of place, today's boys have high vision, no one likes girls who work in factories anymore, the times have eliminated hard-working and capable girls, and now it is popular to play girls, women are not bad, men are not loved. Do you understand? You look at the clothes you wear are too earthy, and the quality is not good at first glance, so you bought them from the stalls, right? After paying a salary, I bought myself a few good clothes to wear, and I got what I paid for, and people who wore good clothes also looked energetic. Alas! You're too young, too inactive, and you're sad. ”

The woman's words were not wrong, but they seemed to be wrong, and she did not know, she hated the disdainful eyes of women.

Apple leaves and sells her bicycle, which she bought at the nearby market to work. Before she left, she still said hello to her cousin and sister-in-law, and in four months, she added a lot of things, and her luggage was big and heavy. The cousin asked her cousin to help Ping Ping go to the stop sign and take her to the bus, but the cousin frowned in annoyance, sighed, and reluctantly got up.

Ping Ping was embarrassed and didn't dare to speak, at this juncture, she shouldn't let the family tired, and she could drag it to the stop sign by herself.

Ping Ping is like this, she can't get exercised in her worldly feelings, she bows her head, and she tastes her poor personality because of her poor speech and too much shame and inferiority, and her reaction is stupid and causes misunderstandings, but in fact, she understands everything in her heart.

Apple is gone, and no one knows where she is. Ten years later, her parents and relatives died, thinking that she might be long gone.