Since I was in junior high school, I worked part-time jobs every summer to earn some living expenses, and I worked many jobs, such as waitress, factory workers, and even farm work in the fields in the suburbs. Today's story is something I experienced when I was a small worker in a factory. My mother was very worried at this time, she didn't want me to go, but I wanted to go, one was to reduce the burden on my parents, and the other was to train myself, just lying on the textbook to study, it was a wrong way of life. I was introduced by a classmate to work in a small factory in the suburbs far from my home, and this classmate's home is in the village near the small factory. I also went with a friend, two of us together, and my parents were relieved. This friend's name is Ran, he lives in the same neighborhood, we were classmates in junior high school, and although we separated after high school, our friendship was not broken because of this. Since it was summer, we didn't have much to bring, so we simply packed our bags and set off.

When he first arrived at the factory, Lan had the urge to go home, because it was so shabby. The surroundings are deserted, overgrown with weeds, and scattered with small factories and workshops. We walked into the factory we were going to, the factory red paint mottled gate was wide open, inside was a large square courtyard, surrounded by several tiled houses, I also counted, a total of six large and small tiled houses. This is a garment factory, later we know its layout, and the gate of the row of tiled houses are men's dormitory and women's dormitory, located on the east side of the gate, the door rushes to the north, the west side of the gate is naturally the security room. Starting from the dormitory, there is a sewing department, a packaging department, an office, and a cutting department. Among them, the sewing part is flushed to the east, opposite to the cutting part. Then there are the toilets and cafeterias. In this way, the quadrangle was formed, and a large courtyard was almost square. The house is basic and there are no flower beds in the yard. What disgusted Lan was not its dilapidation, but the person who came out of it, it was work time, that person might go to the toilet, only to see his fat body, on crutches, walking in the yard with great effort, and another one came out after a while, this one was even more terrifying, his waist seemed to be unable to straighten up, rickety, and there was a big pimple on his back. These are all employees here, and it's hard to imagine how they do their work. Before we came, our classmates told us that this is a factory for the disabled, of course, not all of them are disabled, and there are many healthy people, half to half. At that time, Lan and I also said, what's wrong with the disabled, and it doesn't hurt people, they should be kinder-hearted, we are temporary workers, and we don't work there for a long time, what are we afraid of. But when we came and saw the truth, we regretted it a little, and at first glance, it was quite incredible.

The wife of the factory director received us with a warm welcome and praised us for our young age and ambition. In this way, we stayed, because we were temporary workers, we didn't have to go through the cumbersome procedures to enter the factory, we just went directly to the workshop to work, and we didn't even need to do a salary card.

We dragged our luggage to the dormitory, sorted it out, and went down to work in the workshop. The environment of the workshop is very poor, and it is also very messy, Lan and I are in the packaging department, this type of work is simple and has no technical content, just wrap the clothes up. Next door is the sewing department, and the roar of the sewing machine echoes in our ears all the time, and it can be heard from afar through the door. There are about ten people in our workshop, and more than half of them are disabled. The squad leader is a young man in his twenties, very sunny, wearing a purple shirt and jeans, he seems to have a good temper and a very cheerful personality, and has been patiently guiding us how to wrap clothes and hang logos. I was destined to have only two fingers on his left hand, and the other places where there should have been fingers were round and bare, I don't know if he was born like this, or if he was injured later, such a good person, he is also disabled, I can't help but feel sorry for him. After working all afternoon, I felt very relaxed, and Lan and I were in a much better mood.

It was six o'clock in the evening, and everyone walked out of the workshop and poured into the yard. I saw a lot of strange people, some who walked with a limp, some with one eye, some with looped legs in a circle, some who walked like gorillas, all kinds of things. There was a young boy, who didn't know what had happened to his bones, and he walked up and down, which at first glance was terrifying and funny. Some people who were in the neighborhood went home, and those who were far from home went into the dormitory, and the large courtyard soon quieted down.

There are two rooms in our dormitory, separated by a wall between the inside and outside rooms, Lan and I live in the back room, in addition to the two of us, there are two girls in this room, they are old employees, they are all normal people, one of them is very good-looking, and the other one is very ugly, just too ugly, unkempt curly hair, full of acne pits, the eyes are very small, the eyelids are still very fleshy, the nose is too high, and there is a bone on the bridge of the nose, because the chin is shrunk back, and the mouth is protruding outward. At that time, Lan and I looked at her with curious eyes, and we all wondered how there was such an ugly girl in this world. Although it is rude to look at people like this, she is so special. I think she should be planned between normal people and people with disabilities. This girl's name is Moon Shadow and she doesn't like to talk, while the girl who is a little pretty is very talkative and is called Xiaowei. Although the two of them have lived together for a long time, they don't get along very well, and Xiaowei tells us that this Moon Shadow has a strange personality, just like her appearance, she is not as cheerful as those disabled people.

At half past six, the meal was opened on time, Xiaowei took me and Lan to the cafeteria, Xiaowei told us that there was a small store in the security room, and if there was anything missing, we could go there to buy it, if not, we could go to the nearby village, where there was a larger supermarket.

The canteen is not big, there are a few tables on display, when we go in, there are not many people, there are few people who eat at night, they are all lodging, most of them have gone home, I searched for the figure of the squad leader in the crowd, I didn't see it, it seems that he doesn't live in the dormitory. As soon as we entered, the people inside looked at us, they were looking at me and Lan, two new arrivals, and one of the men was staring at us, he was so horrible, half of his face was scarred, like he had been burned by fire. We hurried away after eating and went back to the dormitory to eat.

After eating, a boy came to chat with Xiaowei, who looked dark and thin, with a ruffian face, and greeted us. After he left, Xiaowei said that he was her good buddy, even our squad leader, and she had many good friends in this factory.

Xiaowei's personality is really good. But we just don't understand why able-bodied people like her come to work in such a place, including her good buddy just now.

The girl named Moon Shadow had been playing with her mobile phone without saying a word, and there were no popular smartphones at that time, so she might be chatting about QQ or reading novels. She was as silent as a shadow.

Xiaowei told me to Helan, don't look at Moon Shadow ugly, but some of those disabled men love her very much. It's just that she doesn't like them, and even dislikes them, she still wants to find a normal person as a partner. Vicky and Moon Shadow are in the same sewing workshop, so she knows a lot.

We spend our dull days eating, working, sleeping, three o'clock and one line. Since the work is based on the piecework salary, more work and more rewards, everyone is very active in their work, and I feel that life passes very quickly. There is also a bathroom here, and Lan and I basically don't leave the factory except to go to the village to buy something. Xiaowei and her friends often go out to play, riding trams or taxis, to the city more than ten miles away. She also asked me and Lan out, but we refused because we were still students and didn't really know her as a person, so we didn't dare to go, especially her good black and thin buddy, who always felt that he was not a good person.

One day, my towel was lost outside, the towel was very new, only used for a few days, light green, beautiful and easy to use, I searched all over the yard and did not find it, other clothes are there, I only lost this towel, and there was no wind, there is no possibility of being blown away by the wind. I told Lan and Xiaowei, Xiaowei said that when drying towels in the future, stay away from the men's dormitory, some of them are very perverted, don't think that people with disabilities are simple and kind. I was suddenly scared. I asked who it was. Xiaowei didn't say anything, and told me to pay attention in the future, that person used to steal female employees' underwear, and the factory director found out and reprimanded him, for the sake of his disability, he was not fired. This man has a bad habit and has changed to stealing women's towels, especially those of good-looking women. I listened even more nervously.

When I was in the workshop, I whispered to my squad leader about it, because I wasn't sure if the pervert was in our workshop, so I didn't dare to publicize it. The squad leader listened and said, if you lose it, you will lose it, if it is something else, I can help you come back, but the towel, even if you want to come back, you can't use it. You know that there is such a person, just pay attention to the laundry in the future. I almost whispered, who is that person? The squad leader said that a man in the sewing department who was burned on his face, who was mentally unhealthy, saw him hiding a little. I nodded, this guy I've seen, the first day I came in the cafeteria, he glared at me and Lan.

On this day, I went to the bathroom to take a shower, and I saw that the moon shadow was in it, and she was already washing, I said hello to her, and she smiled at me, there were no cubicles in the bathroom, and they had a clear view of each other, there were three shower heads, and I was washing in the one closer to her, thinking, I could let her help me rub my back.

"I'll rub it for you, too."

After she finished rubbing me, I said to her, to show my gratitude.

She said, "Okay." So he turned his back to me.

At this time, I noticed that there was a dark lump of flesh in the middle of her buttocks, and I don't know what the disease was, so that her buttocks didn't look sexy, and even a little ugly. No matter how curious I am, I can't ask anyone. So, I stopped looking at it and concentrated on helping her rub her back.

"Xiaoxue, you are so nice, smart and kind." She said. My name is Xiaoxue.

I smiled embarrassedly, feeling strangely happy.

"I'm ugly, am I?" She said suddenly.

I was stunned for a moment and said, "How can there be, ordinary people, don't say that you are ugly, girls should be confident." ”

Moon Shadow smiled, sounding like a wry smile, and said, "You're really good at talking." I know I'm ugly, my face isn't my face, my ass isn't my ass. I myself feel weird, and people like me must be ridiculed wherever they go. Do you know? I've been hiding, and I think I'll be less exposed to some mocking glances as long as I keep my head down and don't speak. I'm at a loss, I don't know where the road ahead is, do you know why I'm here? Because I was afraid of the world of normal people, I only suffered less when I was with people with disabilities, and I was forced to this dark place by the ridicule and white eyes of normal people. How am I going to live? I don't like this place at all, but where can I go? ”

"Don't say that," I comforted her, "this place isn't so bad, you see, aren't they all here?" ”

"Xiaowei, I envy Xiaowei so much, she is good-looking and talkative, if only I had half of her." Moon Shadow said.

"Then why did she choose to work here?" I asked. This is a question I've always been curious about.

"It's just that I just like to make clothes, and most of the people here are very kind, there are not so many intrigues, they can make money, and they are happy, regardless of the environment, this place is really good."

I nodded, agreeing with her.

Moon Shadow continued, "Xiaowei is very happy, she has a boyfriend who works in a garage, she is hardworking and capable, she is very outgoing, she can speak well, she is a good boy. ”

"Oh." I nodded, and I felt that Xiaowei was more attractive. "Xiaowei cares about people very much, she is very kind." I said again.

Moon Shadow said sadly, "Yes, she asked you out on the street, but she never asked me out, she thought I was ugly." Sometimes, when I was in school, when I was working in other places, there were not many girls who wanted to come close to me, and sometimes, I thought, I only deserve to be in the disabled community, but I don't recognize that I am disabled, normal people despise me, I despise disabled people, and this chain of contempt is formed. I know that my heart is not beautiful either. ”

"You don't have too much self-esteem, you have to learn to dress up." I say.

Moon Shadow didn't answer me, she said, I'm done, let's go first.

Okay, I said. Watching Moon Shadow go out, I suddenly felt that she was so pitiful.

That night, there was a strong wind, the wind whined, through the cracks in the windows and doors, the lattices and door panels were very unstable, and the wind blew "clang", I couldn't help but think, how would this be winter?

The wind blew all night, and it had stopped in the morning, and when we were washing, we heard screams outside, followed by the sound of chaotic feet, and the sound of frightened talking, and I, Lan, Xiaowei, and a few people from the outhouse ran out and came to the yard, and I heard someone say that Moon Shadow committed suicide in the toilet! I can't believe that we were still in the shower together yesterday and I rubbed her back. When did she kill herself? I didn't see her in the morning, was it last night? Was it so windy last night that it drowned out the footsteps of her going out?

All three of us were sad, but even more sad than we were a lame man, who might be the one who loved Moon Shadow, right?

Throughout the day, I couldn't give up, and the squad leader told me that I had done all the wrong work. The words of the female employee who first saw the corpse of Moon Shadow kept echoing in my head, it was so scary, as soon as I went in, I saw a person lying inside, I took a closer look, oops! It was the girl named Moon Shadow, her small eyes were half-closed and half-open, her mouth was bleeding, and there was an open pesticide bottle scattered next to her, and she looked like she had been dead for a long time.

The squad leader didn't reprimand me, he said, did it scare you? Don't be afraid. Then help me fix the work I've done wrong.

There was no extra space to build another toilet, so we had to go with us. It took a month for the fear to fade away. That night, I drank too much water and went to the toilet several times, all accompanied by Lan and Xiaowei. After a few times, I was too embarrassed to call them again, so I had to go by myself. At this time, everyone had already slept, even the men's dormitory had turned off the lights, and the whole large courtyard was quiet, bathed in the hazy moonlight. The toilet is on the southeast corner, and you have to pass the men's dormitory, the guard room, the cafeteria, and the bathroom on the way. I walked along the root of the wall, came to the door of the dark toilet, I coughed, wanted to call on the voice-activated light, but it was not on, I wanted to go back, but I couldn't hold it back, I pressed the phone screen, through the faint light emitted by the screen, I walked in, there was no popular smartphone at that time, I don't remember whether there was a flashlight function on the phone at that time, anyway, it was to use the light blur of the screen to illuminate the road ahead. I still felt that it was still not good, so I turned on the music again and made the singing sound bold, which was a soothing song. I just went in. When I finished solving it and stood up, the song had not yet been sung, and suddenly the song I listened to was mixed with the cry of a woman, the very sad and terrible kind, just like that, no more, my scalp exploded, I panicked out of the toilet, ran, and ran back to the dormitory in one go.

I've only told Lan about it. I played that song over and over again, and there was no crying in it, and it was impossible for a composer to design a cry in such a beautiful song, so the cry was from the toilet. I'm sure it's not an auditory hallucination, it's actually heard.

Lan and I packed up and left that day, and our reason was that we had been working for a month, and we had to review our homework next month for the new semester. The factory director's wife was very reluctant to give us up, and when she calculated our salary, she also instructed us to come back during the winter vacation.

We never went to that place again. After all these years, I occasionally think about it, and it feels like a lifetime, and I feel very sad. It was a paradise of kindness and no intrigue. Xiaowei, the squad leader, Moon Shadow, I miss them so much.