November 25, 2020 07:28

Giza Province, Egypt

The family has completely uncovered the pot, the mother does not know what to give our brothers and sisters to eat, so she sent my sister to take the eldest brother to the potato field in the back mountain to dig frozen artichoke, frozen artichoke is the artichoke that people do not dig clean after harvesting the artichoke every autumn, generally in the winter we will take a small shovel along the pit dug by others and then dig a big dig, if you are lucky, basically five or six pits will be collected out of one or half.

My sister and eldest brother went out from noon until almost evening, and there were four or five frozen wilted and black potatoes lying quietly in the grass dustpan, and they also returned home with the brisk pace of the elder brother and sister, and the eldest brother ran to the room to find his mother: "Mom, I found five artichokes, you can cook them for us." The mother who was sitting by the window of the room put down the pants that she had sewn half of with the rags she had picked up, looked at the artichoke in the dustpan, touched the eldest brother's head with a smile and replied: "Okay, Mom, I'll cook the artichoke for my old children." After getting off the kang, the mother added some water to the pot, took the frozen artichoke in the hands of the eldest brother and cleaned it, and then put it in the pot and covered the pot and sat down cross-legged to add firewood to the stove, and the vigorous fire was imprinted on the mother's face, like a patina, and the mother was 22 years old that year. The eldest brother and sister surrounded the mother with a red face, and the eyes kept staring at the pot on the stove, the mother inadvertently looked up to see the expression of the sister and the eldest brother, and the tears flowed down her cheeks uncontrollably, how could these four or five little artichokes be eaten by her children, but these few artichokes in the hearts of our brothers and sisters can also be enough to satisfy our yearning for food, the helpless mother fell into infinite worries, she knew that a few of us would definitely be hungry tonight and couldn't sleep, But she didn't know what to do so that our brother and sister wouldn't be hungry tonight. Niang wants to go to grandma's house for help, but if you go to grandma's house in the middle of the night, you have to go over a mountain range of nearly 40 kilometers, and you are a little scared, and you often hear the older generation in the village say that there are many soldiers who died in the mountains, and some people say that in the middle of the night, you will often hear a roar in the mountains, and your mother's eyes look at the flames in the stove without saying a word, on one side are hungry children, and on the other hand, there are mountains in the dark night, and the left and right thoughts of the mother are fighting each other in her mind. I think my heart must have been filled with sorrow at that time.

I don't know how long it took, the second brother who was sleeping on the kang cried because he was too hungry, and the mother got up and picked up the second brother and coaxed: "Don't howl, don't howl, mom will cook right away, and the old baby will bear with it again." After a while, the second brother lay in his mother's arms and lost his voice, and the mother gently put the sleeping second brother on the kang to cover the quilt, and then said to the sister sitting in front of the stove: "Yanyan artichoke is ripe, you and Hag eat one and a half, and the remaining two leave one for Niu Yan (second brother), and when the fourth brother wakes up, you chew it and feed it to the fourth, and after eating, mark the door, a few of you sleep, and your mother will go out to find something to eat for a few of you, and when you fall asleep, you will eat steamed buns." The mother said while looking for thick clothes, yes, she finally decided to go to her grandmother's house to find something to eat.

In this way, the mother set off alone with the moon, and the mother later said that she was walking in the mountains except for thinking about a few of us, and she was not afraid at all, she simply wanted to go to her grandmother's house to get some food at dawn and come back to cook for us. I remember that when I was a child, the winter in the northwest was very cold, especially in the morning, but when my mother arrived at my grandmother's house, the hot sweat had soaked her clothes, and after entering the door, she didn't say anything, picked up a scoop of water and poured it from her dry mouth. The mother held back her tears and gasped for breath and shouted to her grandmother to cook something for her. People say that people's hearts are downward, my mother has been thinking about us, and grandma has been thinking about my mother, of course, I am also thinking about our brothers and sisters, when grandma heard that my mother did not eat and walked a night of mountain roads to find food at home, she didn't care about sitting down and chatting with her mother about the cold and asking for warmth, but ran to wake up grandpa and let grandpa take out the cow and drag a bag of wheat and millet to grind some flour and yellow rice for my mother. After seeing that grandpa left, grandma ran into the kiln to make a fire and cook for her mother, "Is your uncle good to you?" Grandma asked her mother while cooking, "It's good," my mother replied. Looking at the bow and face without saying a word, she knew that her mother was very hard, and she knew that her mother-in-law's family was not good to her mother at all, but she also knew that her mother was a good and strong person.

Grandma made hand-rolled soba noodles for her mother, and her mother was so hungry that she couldn't care about whether it was hot or not, so she asked her grandmother to order a few drops of sesame oil on her clear soup noodles, and devoured two large bowls. Soon the grandfather came back with the cow, and the mother got up after seeing the grandfather and told the grandmother that she was going back, and the children in the family had not eaten yet.

Just when grandma prepared two bags of grain, a pot of oil and some old clothes for her mother to send her away, she suddenly thought of so many things, how to get it back alone, so she turned around and called grandpa aside, and the two of them quietly didn't know what to talk about for a long time, and then came over and said to the mother: "The old cow in the family gave birth to a calf two months ago, and you said that you will pull the cow back to feed it, and when you feed it, sell it to the family for some food, and change some cloth for the baby to make clothes."

In this way, my mother not only brought back rice and flour oil from my grandmother's house, but also pulled back a calf, after my mother arrived home, it was already midnight, my sister hugged me and my two brothers curled up on the cold kang, my mother saw that no matter how sad she was in her heart, she knew that she had to grit her teeth to live, she was thinking that maybe everything would be better when we grew up, that night my mother cooked a pot full of noodles, of course, our brothers and sisters did not sleep because of hunger as before, but because they ate too much and couldn't sleep.

Summer is slowly coming, since there is a little cow in the family it seems to have more hope, the arrival of the little cow has also brought a lot of joy to our brothers and sisters, the mother is worried about it, the village people see the little cattle after praising the cow to feed the cow well, raise strong and fat. During the day, in the morning, my mother would take my eldest brother to the fields to do farm work for my grandfather and father's house, and in the afternoon, she would let my eldest brother watch me and my second brother, and she and my sister would lead the cow to the back mountain to graze the cow and pull the weeds.

One day late at night, the wind was blowing, suddenly lightning and thunder, heavy rain poured down, my mother was particularly afraid of such weather, she closed the door tightly, hugged our brothers and sisters a few curled up in the corner of the inner side of the kang, suddenly someone was lying on the window and knocking on the window, my mother was afraid to look, and quickly wrapped a few of us in the quilt with a quilt, as for what the people outside shouted, under the cover of thunder and lightning, my mother did not hear a word clearly. After a while, the sound of banging on the window was gone, and my mother slowly raised her head to find that the man was gone, and then beckoned us to lie down and sleep. The thunder and lightning and the heavy rain outside did not seem to be in the slightest attempt to decrease, as if they were competing with each other, the thunder showed off to the lightning that it was loud, the lightning showed off its brightness to the rain, and the rain showed off to the thunder how big it was falling. The mother was lying on the kang head, listening to the sound of the rain outside, with her eyes open, and she didn't know what she was thinking.

Bang bang, suddenly there was a knock on the door again, and the mother was frightened and immediately got up and shouted, "Who? "It's me, I'm Lulu, just now a person from another village passed by and said that he saw your cow running away, and called you for a long time and you didn't open the door, so he ran to my house and told me, I'll come and tell you", the uncle of the Lingjia family turned around and went back after speaking. As soon as the mother heard that the cow had run away, she immediately dressed our brothers and sisters, covered the quilt with our brother and sister, and ran out alone in the rain. My mother didn't know where to find the cow, so she went down the alley in the village to her grandfather's house and asked her grandfather and uncle to help her find the cow, but the rain outside was too heavy, and the grandfather yelled at the mother: "Where can I find it in the middle of the night in such a heavy rain?" It's cloudy and I get up in the morning and look for it." The mother knew that no one was willing to help her find a cow, and this helpless woman had no time to be lost, so she turned around and plunged into the dark rainy night and disappeared without a trace. One night, my mother searched all the corners of the village, but there was no cow in sight. When the rain slowly stopped, the mother was soaked and dragged the tired body to the house, the cow was still not found, the fatigue and loss in the heart filled the mother, and the mother's eyes became particularly red and swollen, yes, she may have not found the cow all night and cried anxiously all night, no one helped her, no one gave her ideas, no one shared it for her. I sometimes think that this woman is as hard as iron, but don't they all say that women are made of water, so my mother must be molten iron.

My mother originally wanted to go home and see our brothers and sisters and then continue to go out to find cattle, but because the rain was too heavy last night, the mud on the roof was washed away (the first house built by the mother of the hometown was built with adobe bricks, and some sticks were set up horizontally on the roof, and some wheat straw was spread on top of the sticks, and then the reconciled mud was spread on top of the wheat straw, so the roof was done), and the wheat grass fell all over the ground, and the house was already soaked in rainwater. And a few of our brothers and sisters were soaking wet and curled up on the soaked kang, my mother looked at all this in front of her, picked up our brothers and sisters and began to cry, how helpless this woman must be at the moment. But there is no way, the helpless people can only rely on themselves, the mother moved out all the wet things soaked in the house, and carried out a few of our brothers and sisters, she had long forgotten about the cow, and a person ran back and forth and the mud, looking for the wheat straw, and then tied the wheat straw into several bundles, and found a rope to tie one end to the wheat straw, one end to the hand, and then climbed down the ladder to the roof, and then the wheat straw was fished, so that the wheat straw was laid up again and again, and then came down to find a bucket, Shovel the mud into the bucket, tie one end of the rope to the bucket, the other end is in the hand, then climb the ladder to the roof, and then fish the mud up and pour it on the paved wheat straw bucket by bucket, and finally smooth it with a wooden plank.

It was noon after my mother's busy work, the weather in the northwest was like a doll with a changing face, and the sun at noon after a whole night of rain was a little spicy, so it was good for my mother, because her roof could be dried quickly, of course, there were also a few of our brothers and sisters and those messy things at home that were soaked in rain. After the mother moved the things in the house one by one, she laid out the kang and then went to cook, and after eating, she was going to find her uncle and grandfather in the village to help her find the cow together. Mother later said that she felt that people could not have been so down, she and the little cattle or more fate, after eating the mother to the uncle and grandfather's house, on the way met a cousin who was hiding in the mountains last night to hide from the rain to drive sheep to the house, the mother asked him to go to the back mountain to drive sheep when he saw a cow (because the hometown has not been closed to grazing before, but the grass in the mountains is relatively small, the general village cattle and sheep people will choose to live in the mountain to dig a cave in the sheep for a few days before going home, When it rains, they will drive the sheep in the mountains into the cave and sleep with the sheep, and then continue to herd the sheep or go home after the rain is clear), the cousin told his mother that he had seen it in a cave in the back mountain, and he thought that the cattle herders in the mountains drove the cattle into the cave in order to avoid the rain, and if he knew that it was his mother, he would have helped his mother drive it back together. Then, at the request of the mother, the cousin led the mother to the cave where the little ox was located in the back mountain, and brought the cow back.

Although she had not slept all night, the woman who had found the cow was so happy that no amount of fatigue had vanished because of her. There is a big pit not far in front of the house in my hometown, that is when my mother and father built a house to make adobe bricks, and after taking the soil, there was a very big pit, and my mother saw that some green gray grass grew in the pit, so she wanted to drive the cow to the pit to eat the grass, but the pit was a little deep, no matter how the mother drove in the back, the little ox was unwilling to go down, at this time the mother pulled the rope and jumped down by herself, and then dragged the cow down, but no matter how she dragged the cow just didn't go down, So she called out to her sister to come and help her herd the cows. The elder sister came up with a stick and hit the cow behind the buttocks, and the cow was probably frightened and jumped out of the pit, while the mother fell into the pit. Yes, when the cow jumped down, he kicked the mother down and stepped on her chest, the instant pain and fright did not make this strong woman cry, the mother held her chest and lay in the pit for a long time without getting up, and finally she fainted.

My sister was only about six years old at that time, she drove the cattle on the top of the pit and waited for her mother to come up, she didn't know that her mother had fainted in the pit, and after waiting for a long time to see her come up, my sister walked to the pit and found that her mother was lying in the pit, no matter how she called her mother ignored her. Although she is young, her sister may also have a premonition that something is wrong, so she ran to the village below to find her grandparents, she told her grandparents that she couldn't wake up when she fell asleep in the pit, but her grandparents probably felt that her mother was really asleep, so no one was willing to come up with her sister, and finally her sister ran to find the four grandpas and four grandma, and the four grandpas and four grandma heard it and asked her sister how long she had been asleep, and her sister said that she had slept for a long time, and the four grandpas and four grandma felt that something was wrong. So he called some other uncles from the village and ran up from the village. After the mother was picked up by the villagers, she lay in the arms of the fourth grandfather, and when she was sick, she would not think of going to the hospital immediately, but to find an imam to blow on her face and think about it, I think it was also because of poverty. In the shouts of everyone, the mother slowly woke up, lying down for a long time, the mother slowly got up with her chest, the fourth grandfather looked at the mother and said, "Are you (stupid)?" You pull the cow down in such a deep pit, the yin is very dangerous, can't you see it yourself? "It's a pity that I don't give so much grass to the cows, I didn't expect it to be dangerous," the mother replied.

In this way, my mother has been at home for many days, and my sister has always brushed the batter every day to take care of our three brothers and my mother. My mother now often says, "Why do you think I was so stupid at that time, and I was really so dangerous that I pulled the cow down, why didn't I jump down and pull the grass up to feed the cow?" ”

In the autumn, my father came back from working in Xinjiang, and the little money he earned was used by my grandfather to prepare for his uncle's daughter-in-law in winter, except for buying some rice, flour and oil for the family. Niang's little cattle were also raised by the mother into a big cattle, and the mother was ready to take it to the county to sell it during the Spring Festival and then measure the seeds and cloth, and the seeds were used when planting in the spring, and the cloth could be used to make a summer dress for our brothers and sisters. Autumn is coming, winter must not be too far away, in the first month after winter, one day the father came back from the grandfather's house to tell the mother that the uncle wanted to marry a daughter-in-law, the grandfather was ready to slaughter the mother's little ox to the uncle to marry the daughter-in-law, the mother heard what she said and did not agree, she told her father that it was the cow that her grandmother gave her, she was worried about the calf into a big cow in order to sell it to fill something for the family. In the afternoon, the grandfather also told the mother that he was going to slaughter the mother's cow for the little uncle to marry his daughter-in-law, and the mother still told the grandfather that she did not agree, but the grandfather told her viciously: "If you don't give the cow, you can try, you see that I want your life" Then the grandfather called his father out, and he didn't know what he was muttering.

One day late at night, my father came back from my grandfather's house and said to my mother: "You haven't gone to your mother's house this year, you go to your mother's house for a few days on a cloudy day, I have watched it at home, and my brother is getting married next week, you go to your mother's house for a few days, or you have to stay at home these days to help your brother work, and you will come back with your parents on the wedding day." Mother is very surprised that for the first time in so many years of marriage, her father took the initiative to let her go back to her parents' house, and took the initiative to care about her and didn't want her to work, although her mother wanted to go to her grandmother's house, but she felt that it was still necessary for her to stay at home to help work, after all, when she got married, there was too much work at home and someone needed help, and she was also worried that if she didn't help, her grandparents would scold her. In that era when the telephone was not yet popular, people in the poor northwest mountain village had never heard of it, the only information exchange was that people talked to each other, the father saw that the mother refused to go to the grandmother's house, so he said that the mother would ask the mother to invite the mother's family on behalf of the grandparents, if you want to come back to help, the day after the mother can come back on the same day, after all, the grandmother is the grandfather's sister, grandma is the grandfather's cousin, so the mother's family is also the grandparents' family and relatives, so the mother is very happy to accept this task.

Early the next morning, my mother got on the bouncing car to go to the county, and after arriving in the county, my mother turned the bouncing car and sat at my grandmother's house, in the village of my grandmother's house, my mother invited my grandparents' relatives one by one, and at noon my mother invited the people who should be invited, and she packed up and went home after eating at my grandmother's house. After returning home, my mother found that my father and our brothers and sisters were not at home, she took advantage of that time to be idle and had nothing to do, so she was ready to burn some oil residue to feed the cow, and then the mother boiled a pot of boiling water and poured in some oil residue to boil the back end to feed the cow, but she walked to the place where the cow was bolted and found that the cow was gone, thinking that the cow was lost The mother was particularly anxious, she immediately put down the basin in her hand and hurriedly ran to the village grandfather's house to call her father to find the cow together. But when she walked into the yard of her grandfather's house, she saw her grandfather's uncle and her father and they were peeling cows around a cow that had been slaughtered, and her mother walked in to see the cow's head and found that it was her little cow. Mother's tears gushed out, but because there are many relatives and friends in the family these days, so the mother did not cry, but stood alone in front of the cow and wept, everyone in the family did not see her, grandpa stared at the mother from time to time, and then looked at the father.

When he returned home at night, his mother cried and scolded his father for why he lied to him, and why he didn't think about his family's poor life. Of course, in that feudal era, my mother's crying was only a beating from my father. A week later, my grandmother came to our house, and she found that my mother was full of scars, so she asked her what was wrong, and my mother replied: "That day, a man from the next village came to take Niu She away, and when I gave him a cow, the ice was too slippery on the road, and he accidentally fell." "At that time, there was no entertainment for the rural people when they were free, and the only way for everyone to have fun was to sit together and gossip about what was wrong. The mother's little scalper was deceived by his grandfather and father to be slaughtered, and finally passed through the village people don't know how many mouths reached the ears of grandparents, grandpa found his mother to confirm, and his mother knew that he couldn't hide it, so he confessed to his grandpa. Grandpa was very angry after hearing this, and wanted to ask grandpa why he treated his daughter-in-law like this, not to mention that the daughter-in-law was still grandpa's niece. But in the end, I was stopped by my grandmother and my mother, and my mother said that firstly, there have been a lot of relatives and friends in the family recently, and I can't ruin my uncle's wedding because of this incident, second, I am afraid of affecting my grandparents' brothers and sisters, and third, even if my grandfather is angry for her, but my grandfather can't always accompany her, and after my grandpa leaves, she will definitely be beaten up, and she will definitely be more excluded in this family in the future.

Grandma saw her mother in her eyes and felt pain in her heart, and just like that, her mother's little scalper finally left her mother in this way. One day when I grew up, my mother told me about this for the first time, and my mother said: "I was very angry and desperate at that time, they pulled my cow to slaughter and didn't tell me, they just beat me, the point was that they slaughtered my cow and didn't give me a little meat." Hey, but it's okay to think about it, people still have to look forward, suffering is a blessing, and I am already very satisfied when your brothers and sisters grow up healthy and safe."

Sometimes I really hate my father and grandfather, why would he unite his own siblings to punch and kick his mother at every turn, why did he turn a blind eye when others bullied his mother, why did grandpa treat his niece like this? But slowly I will figure it out, my father is actually innocent, as a product of the old society, the arranged marriage between my mother and my father is not any emotion at all, maybe some people will slowly run in their feelings, but some people will slowly run in and become farther and farther, my mother and father are just victims of the old society, I think they should belong to the latter who is getting farther and farther away, maybe the only thing that can keep them together before is the terms and conditions of the old society, and another may be because of our brothers and sisters. The father himself is honest, and the traditional concept gives him the idea of male superiority and inferiority, and at the same time, he also has the idea of obedience to his parents, so no one can violate his two points of change in anything, including his mother. And the mother is dedicated to keeping the so-called women's way in the old society. Of course, this was just my idea, and later I asked my mother why she didn't divorce my father at that time. The mother said: "At that time, once a woman divorced there, she would definitely be full of gossip, and your grandmother once persuaded me not to go back, I could just leave, but how could I let go of a few of you, I was reluctant to let go of the meat that fell from my body, so I just had a thought, and insisted on waiting for you to grow up."