Gu Cheng has a poem that I saw when I was in high school, and I have been pressing it in my notebook since I copied it.

At that time, I only felt extremely good, but I never thought that this became a portrayal of Zhao Xu's life and me:

You go from here to there // You're so far away / You tell my heart to go all the way

My name is Zhao Miao, and I come from a small village in a town that I said by name, and you may not have heard of it 90%.

I am the eldest child in the family, with five younger siblings, and in the year of my college entrance examination, the youngest sister was born, and my mother thought it was a girl, so she didn't want it.

Not only does she not want her little sister anymore, she doesn't even want me anymore.

When I got my acceptance letter from A-University, I knew it was my only chance to get out of this place and out of poverty.

I know that I am destined to be different from others, both in terms of origin and experience.

But none of that seemed to matter much to me.

I will always remember the first day I arrived in City A, carrying what I thought was the best backpack I had, a gift from a classmate in town, second-hand, and a duffel bag that I had sewn myself.

But when I looked up at the road in City A, I realized how out of place I really was.

I had 800 yuan on me, which I had earned from working in a factory in town for more than two months, and 400 yuan sewn into the pockets of my trousers, which my best friend gave me with her dowry.

She didn't have the courage I did, she dropped out of school in her sophomore year of high school and got married, and she said she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to survive when she went out.

But for me, I'd rather not live, and I don't want to stay in that place for the rest of my life, get married, have children, and then have my children stay in that place for the rest of my life.

I hit the proprietress in the factory and said that she had a friend's daughter in City A, and I had just arrived in City A, so I could contact her.

I'm here to go to school, I'm not here to make a living, so I don't want to contact anyone, and I'm naturally not so stupid to think that she asked me to contact someone, and who knows if that person is a good person or a bad person.

After all, even my fifty yuan salary can be deducted so naturally, I still have a little doubt about her conscience and character.

But I also need to make a living, the university is not as good as I thought, there are six people in the dormitory, Fu Yao and I are the best-looking, but we are the poorest in the dormitory.

The people in the dormitory rejected me and Fu Yao, and I don't know if they were jealous or looked down on us poor people.

I only have 800 yuan, not to mention the tuition, and even my living expenses can't last long.

Before school started, I was looking for all kinds of part-time jobs, and I remember that my first part-time job was handing out flyers, from 9 o'clock in the morning to 6 o'clock in the afternoon, 80 yuan a day.

It was more than August at that time, and the sun was as fierce as a torch, so I handed out three days' worth of sheets and took two hundred and forty dollars.

It was the first time I had made money in such a short period of time, and even though my whole body was getting sunburned, I still wished I could always have this kind of part-time job.

But these things have never been hard to come by, and then I went to work as a waiter in a fast food restaurant, and I went when I had time, more than 800 a month.

Don't ask me why I don't go to McDonald's and KFC, where the hourly wage is high, but after I paid more than 1,000 accommodation fees, I only had more than 20 yuan left in my pocket, not to mention the more than 140 health check-up fees.

I didn't have a cell phone at the time, so my mom's phone went straight to my counselor, even though I didn't know how she got my counselor's number.

She told me that Niuniu was sick, and she didn't say what the illness was, but she was going to give Niuniu to someone else.

Oh, by the way, Niu Niu is my sister who is only a few months old.

I knew what she meant, but she probably thought I could make money in the big city, and forced me to send money home.

At that time, I had just taken the money for my first part-time job, nine hundred and fifty-six, and my mother was going back, saying that if she had money, she wouldn't scold Niuniu.

I was the one who held the knife to their necks in the first place, otherwise Niuniu would have been sent away as soon as she was born.

Because there is a pork seller in the next village, who is eight years old this year, but he is mentally retarded, he paid 5,000 yuan to buy Niuniu as a child bride for their family.

Five thousand dollars is an astronomical amount for our family, but I know that five thousand dollars can't buy my sister's life.

I will always remember that when Niu Niu was born, I hugged her, and she smiled at me when she first opened her eyes.

Then she cried when my mom took it back, and I don't know how such a strange thing could happen in this world, but she really smiled at me.

It has been said that the more people read, the higher the degree of glass hearts.

I think it may really be, I can't watch Niuniu's life be ruined by my parents.

I sent back nine hundred dollars, and fifty-six dollars remained.

At that time, there was a steamed bun shop on the north street of the school, and the steamed buns were left for a day at night, two for one dollar, and I often went to buy them at night, and ate one for dinner in the evening, one for breakfast in the morning, and bread in the restaurant where I worked at noon.

In Fu Yao's words, I was thin at that time, there was no blood, the whole person was yellow and thin, but the skeleton was still large, and the side bones on the face were protruding, which was very terrifying.

Fu Yao is also constantly working, but she is better than me, she taught herself to play the guitar and worked as a helper in the guitar shop, more than 1,000 a month.

But this is still a drop in the bucket for her, she said that her grandmother is old, and she wants to save a sum of money, the more the better.

So she went back to the bar at night to sell alcohol, and she could earn more than 3,000 a month, but people were also drunk to death.

She introduced me to the past, and the bar was a very serious bar, and if you want to sell alcohol, you can have as many bottles as you have with customers.

I drank so much at that time, from drinking two or three glasses of wine to vomiting to death, to drinking two or three bottles later, my face did not change.

Occasionally, there are people who take advantage of us, but the boss is a woman, and usually these people are directly pulled out by the security guards.

That's how I worked, working in restaurants during the day and bars at night, and I spent all my time part-time except for classes.

Staying up like this, I have an income of more than 3,000 or 4,000 a month.

I felt so satisfied, I never thought I would have so much money in a day.

My mom now asks me for 1,000 yuan a month, but in the second semester of my freshman year, she suddenly said that my dad had fallen down and couldn't work at home, and asked me to add 1,000 yuan a month.

Her meaning is obvious, that is, she will sell Niu Niu without giving money, and now the pork guy has raised 5,000 yuan to 10,000.

I'm not a hard-hearted person, and even though I don't have much affection for my parents, I can't turn a blind eye to my younger siblings.

When things changed when I came out of the bar one night, a woman reached out and stopped me and asked me if I would be interested in working in a different place, I had a fixed 5,000 yuan a month, and I only had to work for two or four hours every night, the only bad thing was that there might be occasional customers who would do their tricks, of course, they wouldn't force me.

That was the first time I had heard of Hongyan, one of the many sales vaults in City A.

I have to say, my heart is moved.

Because there is also a commission in it, the fixed salary is 5,000, but if the wine is sold too much, or the guests reward more, tens of thousands a month is not a problem.

I need money, lots and lots of money, and I don't know why I need it.

So I went, and on the first night I almost got into trouble, but it was over.

Slowly, I discovered that in this world, the best thing to earn is money, and the most difficult thing to earn is money.

At first, I was not used to it at all, and I wanted to quit several times, but after I stayed for a month, I realized that I was actually a little smarter, and there were some losses that I didn't have to suffer.

The box inside Hongyan is graded, AB, generally B are ordinary people, generally college students, but the consumption is not low overnight, comparable to my monthly salary.

So I usually only go to B-level boxes, although they spend less, and I don't get much commission, but six or seven thousand a month, I'm quite content.

Fu Yao and I often go back to the dormitory very late, and the dormitory aunt is speechless to us.

Then one day, the inside of the dormitory was finally torn apart.

Fu Yao and I combined, and the two of us planned to rent a house outside, but each of us had to pay an extra 1,000 yuan a month.

But there is no way to do it, if it continues like this for a long time, it is difficult to guarantee that nothing will happen, and the punishment of the dormitory for not returning home at night is already very serious.

In the end, gritting our teeth, we decided to rent a house outside.

I always felt that the 1,000 yuan should not be lost like this, so I would go out and pick up some part-time jobs during the day on weekends.

I'm tall, 1.72 meters tall, and I look good, so sometimes there are places where you can welcome a lady or a model.

Two hundred yuan a day, but not every week there is such a part-time job, but five or six hundred a month is also money, better than nothing.

That was the first time I met Zhao Xu, opening in a jewelry store, and I happened to be invited to be a greeter.

It was December, and I was wearing a slit cheongsam and 12 centimeter stiletto heels, and my heart was shaking when I stood in the cold wind, but I couldn't shiver.

At the end, my whole body was stiff, and I just wanted to change my clothes, but I was pulled by a girl who was traveling with me, saying that the organizer invited me to dinner, and there was no one to take the red envelope of 500.

I know what it means to have a meal, it's just to keep us company.

There were five hostesses that day, three of whom were from the same school as me, and two whom I didn't know.

I actually don't want to go, such a dinner, who knows if I can come out if I go in.

But five hundred, I stood all day and that was two hundred.

And today in the media, I don't think they will force me, of course, there is nothing to say about the voluntary ones.

But sometimes, people really can't be too greedy.