Once he spoke, it was much easier: "At that time, I was fighting cocks every day, and half of the gambling houses in Chang'an City had my arrears, and Dingcuige's mother set up a private room for me. ”

"If you get into trouble, Daddy and Auntie always have a way to crack it. The eldest brother was also dissatisfied, and my father said at the time, you are so competitive, so you take care of your brother more and let your brother live more casually. ”

His breathing became more and more sluggish, as if he was choked by an invisible hand: "In... In Nanshao... Big brother thinks... There is something strange, but... I don't know..."Shu Yu collapsed, his chest contracted violently, and Ah Fu was almost afraid that he would vomit blood again, so he gritted his teeth and lay in his arms without moving.

He calmed down and said quickly: "It should have been me who went to face the elephant array, and my eldest brother went for me." When I arrived, it was silent, and the meat sauce on the floor was several inches thick, and there were no corpses at all. ”

"I often feel like I don't deserve to live. My eldest brother is fortunate to be alive and glorious for the country, but I, yes, I can do it, but I can't do it as well as him. ”

"If only I had died."

This sentence almost pinched Afu's internal organs, and she hugged Shuyu: "Husband! ”

Shu Yu smiled miserably, stroked her waterfall hair, comforted her and comforted herself: "Yes if." I can't help it. ”

"Afu, I won't talk to anyone else, because I'm ashamed. In those years, my aunt cried when she thought about it, and when she cried, I hated to go to the eighteenth layer of hell to pass the oil pot, which made me cramp, and it was better than struggling in this life. ”

Only then did Afu realize that he was going around in circles to explain why he didn't speak his mind to him. I think I'm used to being depressed, so I don't know what to say.

"Now my aunt is gone, and I'm not at home. let her eldest son die, and she can't do her filial piety for her old man, my son is also rare. Shuyu smiled bitterly.

Afu wanted to persuade him to open a little, but he didn't know what to say, and his mother-in-law seemed to be kind and happy again. Does she know the bitterness in Shuyu's heart?

I guess I know. The mother-son affection with blood thicker than water, how can you not know Shuyu's endless self-blame.

Afu said astringently: "Husband, don't insist on carrying the death of the eldest brother on your shoulders. There are some things that cannot be done by human beings, and if you can't look at this directly, instead of forcibly attributing the cause to yourself to prove that man will conquer heaven, then it is the work of metrics. ”

In the flash of light, Afu suddenly remembered that when she went to see Qiao Guifei on the day of the silkworm ceremony, Qiao Guifei bit General Qiao Feng and Pei Zhongzhi to death, and they were all plotted, so they died tragically in the elephant array. At that time, I only felt that Qiao Guifei was paranoid, but when Qiao Guifei and her husband couldn't let go of this matter for a long time....

Afu trembled uncontrollably.

Shu Yu felt it and hugged her tightly: "How?" Cold? ”

Ah Fu told him with constant knocking that Concubine Qiao felt that General Qiao and his party were plotted.

Afu's head rested on Shuyu's arm, and she couldn't see his expression clearly.

It's just that he was silent for a long time, not saying a word.

The funeral has passed, except for the white lanterns swaying in the wind everywhere in the house, and the white silk that has not been removed in front of the door for a long time, everything is as usual, but there is one more item in Afu's day, going to the ancestral hall of Keyuan to pray for her mother-in-law.

At first, she was tired of walking so far every day, but later she also fell in love with the incense and solemn atmosphere in the ancestral hall. The hour of prayer every day calmed her mind the most.

However, this hard-won meticulousness was easily broken by a letter to Mrs. Xiang.

Mrs. Xiang can't write, this letter is obviously dictated by her, and the maidservant ghostwrites, although she can read it, but the handwriting is ugly enough:

"Aphur: Words are like faces. On the side of the funeral, you are not allowed to talk about the recent situation, and I am afraid that it will be inconvenient for you to go home during the period of filial piety, so I write this letter. Brother Ming Zeru has been married, and she is the eldest daughter of Aunt Han's brother..."

Wen Crepe said a few words, and the following really began to get carried away, and Ah Fu could imagine how Ah Niang said this sentence happily: "Although the Han family is extremely angry, it is secretly strange that Ah Niang broke their mother and son who want to climb the high branches and count on you, but they don't look at the identity of their son!" Because the woman is her niece, but she can't say it clearly, A-Niang looked at it, so relieved! Joyfully! ”

Afu is helpless, the following is a repeat of the narrative repeatedly, plus some short trivialities in the parents, how Aunt Li seduces the old man, how Xiang Yu is a fox who can do anything at a young age, and how Aunt Nuan Yue is stupid and useless...

She hastily saw that at the end, when she was about to "wish you a smooth future", she actually added a lot of words:

"Your second sister is seven months pregnant, so you should hurry up. Uncle's concubine can also be taken over and raised first, at least the little cub needs to be raised before he can be with you in the future. With a concubine in his hand, the room is easy to handle..."

Ah Fu saw a pain in her brain, and thought that this rare letter from home had to be burned. A-Niang is really used to walking sideways to the house, this kind of words can be written into the family letter, if she shows it to others, how else can she behave, she has to make the old and young people in Pei's house drown in the spittle.

There is also a second sister Xiang Yan, why is she pregnant for seven months? Afu is simply suspicious of life, how can the birth of people around her come naturally, and when she arrives, it is like an iron tree blooming, but it is impossible to ask for it.

It's already cold in November, and thick cotton curtains are everywhere. Sakura opened the curtain and said, "Madam, Miss Qingyan is here with the little master." ”

Afu shook her hand and threw the letter into the charcoal basin at her feet.

Xiangyuan has been nine months old, and the first birthday ceremony will be held in the spring of next year.

Qing Yan was much thinner than when she was just out of confinement, wrapped in a half-new turquoise jacket, revealing her hands and neck that were terrifyingly thin.

She saluted Afu: "I've seen Madame." The nurse who was holding Xiangyuan behind her also bent over.

Afu saved a smile and waved her hand to let the nurse come over: "Xiangyuan has been nine months, right?" Look at this little cheek, it's so good to feed. ”

As soon as the child came over, Afu smelled a strong smell of milk, she was afraid of this smell of meat every day, and hurriedly excused herself from talking to Qing Yan, but she was defenseless and ran into Qing Yan's vigilant gaze, as if she dared to reach out and touch Xiang Yuan, Qing Yan would pounce and tear her throat.

Ah Fu was stunned for a moment, and then Qing Yan lowered her eyebrows and chuckled: "Yes, the young master is indeed a person who can eat." ”

Ah Fu didn't dare to touch Xiangyuan anymore, mainly because she herself was unwilling to touch the little doll, but she knew what it meant to be "milk smell is not dry", although this word is not to say that it smells bad, but it really doesn't smell good!

Afu asked, "How is your body going?" Now that it's winter again, if it's cold in the room, just open your mouth and ask Wanwan if you want, you won't be missing your mother and son. ”

Qing Yan was blessed, and even showed a rather humble and flattering smile: "How can it be less, the slave maid and the little master are all cheap lives, and they don't deserve to be so valuable." ”

Afu frowned, feeling quite uncomfortable. Qing Yan used to be a rather unearthly wonderful person, why is it a little similar to the old horse's family now...

What's more, even if she is a room that can't be put on the stage, Xiangyuan still has to call her mother, why is it cheap?

Ah Fu didn't speak, turned around and hugged Xiang Yuan from the nurse's arms, the little doll's eyelids were still a little yellow, swollen and swollen, Ah Fu was a little worried, touched her fingertips lightly, and asked, "How do you get his eyes..."

Before she finished speaking, she found that Qing Yan had already grabbed her face, and her two hands were tied together, so she almost snatched the child from her arms.

Afu was annoyed and lowered her eyelids and glanced at her: "What are you doing?" Am I trying to hurt him? ”

Qing Yan sneered, but refused to retreat: "This child often urinates, and the slave is afraid of soiling the lady's clothes." ”

If she doesn't, Afu will return the hug, but the more she is like this, the more Afu wants to use Mrs.'s position to press her, and tell her what Mrs. Ben wants, and you can't protect it.

She deliberately said: "It doesn't matter, I also want to learn how to take care of children." "Afu doesn't believe that she can't conceive a sister-in-law!

The curtain was opened, Shu Yu just came back from outside, he was sweating in the cold weather, he took off his coat while walking, and threw it into Sakura Sakura's arms, hearing this, he smiled and said: "How, I can't put it down?" ”