I smiled faintly: "What is the difference between seeing and not seeing." ”

"Niangniang, what happened back then-"

"I know, I can't help myself."

He looked at me and stopped talking. I didn't look at him, but whispered, "Does the Prime Minister know what is the most painful thing for me?" ”

He said in a deep voice: "The minister was ...... back then Abandoned the mother. ”

"No, the Prime Minister can't help himself, isn't he." I said calmly, he probably didn't know what I meant by mockery, or if it was just a simple narrative, so he didn't speak.

"Back then, everyone said that it was me who was sorry for Shao Huan, it was me who occupied the magpie's nest, and it was I who robbed her of her position, but no one ever said sorry to me - I'm sorry, it's our old things that hurt you."

I said calm, and I didn't expect me to be so calm.

His eyes were slightly red, and there was finally a slight change in his face.

"It seems like a long time has passed since these things, and it seems like it was just yesterday."

I looked at him quietly and said, "To me, the prime minister seems to be a person from a long, long time ago, and it doesn't matter anymore, so be it." ”

I smiled at him, but I knew there was no smile in my eyes. "Mingming......" he called me like this, and he stopped talking.

Mingming......

I chuckled, but I couldn't say the word "father" again.

My health became worse and worse, and I often woke up from nightmares when I dreamed that I had fallen into a deep, deep cliff that seemed to have no end.

When I woke up in the middle of the night, I found someone on the edge of the bed, and I screamed in fright, and in a trance, I realized what had happened.

"Mingming, it's me, don't be afraid." Lu Li saw that I was frightened and hurriedly tried to reassure me. It was Lu Li, but when I looked at him, those terrifying memories kept coming to my mind.

"Mingming......" He frowned, very worried, and patted me on the shoulder, but I suddenly pushed him away, kept stepping back, and trembled uncontrollably.

He suddenly stopped his hand, choked up and said, "I'm sorry...... I'm sorry..."

But I couldn't cry.

Winter is coming, and it's almost snowy. I remembered that when I was in Mo Mansion in the past, the people were very orderly, and they never did things like building snowmen or having snowball fights.

Sometimes, I went to bed early, and before the adults could get home, I would build a snowman in front of Mofu.

It's like, I'm waiting for him.

It was an ordinary day, and the emperor suddenly fell seriously ill.

When the queen barged in with someone, I was learning to weave a "knot with my maid".

The queen's eyes were very sharp, and she said at the beginning: "Concubine Yue, I don't know if someone can search your palace." Before I could speak, she had someone check it out. I just looked at them lightly.

Those people really found a small medicine bag, and the queen was furious: "Concubine Yue, the emperor loves you so much, I didn't expect you to do such a bad thing, you know your mistake." ”

I curled the corners of my mouth and didn't speak.

The queen may have been ordered not to touch me, but only locked me in my room and did not see anyone.

In this way, it is also pure.

On Chinese New Year's Eve, I asked the maid to bring me some wine, and I thought that without this wine I would probably not have been able to survive the long night.

I was drinking, but the door was opened, it was Lu Li, it seemed to be snowing outside, and I was cold. I think he would have wanted to come and see me a long time ago. I ignored him and continued to drink alone.

He snatched the glass from my hand and said, "You are weak and should be in good condition, but now you are drinking here, and you really don't want to live." ”

I chuckled and raised my eyes, and said, "I thought you would come and ask me why there is a chronic poison in the tea you drink in my palace every day." ”

He looked at me, happy and angry, his eyes were actually extremely good-looking, a pair of peach blossom eyes, the tails of the eyes were slightly raised, as if with affection, at this moment, it seemed to be covered with a layer of fog, lost his spirit.

"Because I can't believe that you hate me so much."

"That's how I hate you." I stood up, tried to calm my emotions, looked at him and said, "Originally, I didn't want anything, I just wanted an adult, as long as he could be by my side, I was very satisfied." ”

At the end, he was a little choked: "But you killed him, and you ruined my ......"

"Mingming......" He looked at me desperately and said to me: "He is a traitor that everyone fears, and I, although I am sorry for you, but now the court is stable under my governance, the country and the people are safe, I can compensate you for whatever you want, why are you so obsessed with him!" ”

I chuckled and said clearly, "Because you'll never understand, you won't understand at all." He seemed to have suddenly been drained of all his strength, and hung his hands weakly.

I suddenly coughed and looked into my hand, and it was blood.

He looked at me worriedly and frowned, "You haven't drunk any medicine these days. "I didn't speak.

"You want to ask for death." He asked me, squeezing my shoulders with a slight squeeze and a slight tremble. I looked up at him, my body was already weak, but I still smiled and said, "Yes." ”

He was really angry, and suddenly stood up and said to me with a cold face: "If you have ruined your body like this, why do you still live, why don't you die?" ”

It's the harshest thing he's ever said to me in all the time I've known him.

But I just laughed and said, "You are not dead, how can I die." The originally frozen atmosphere became even colder after I said this, he looked at me, his eyes became cold inch by inch, I couldn't understand whether it was sadness or hatred, he finally flicked his sleeves and turned away.

Unhappy to part, every time, it seems to be like this. It turned out that the young couple eventually became a grudge.

I didn't tell Lu Li that he wouldn't die. Those chronic poisons, as long as the Tai Yi recuperates, he will soon recover as before.

I laughed indifferently, poured a full glass of wine, drank it alone, and when I was drunk, it wouldn't be so painful.

It turns out that hatred is so delicious, endless, and endless.

Suddenly, I remembered the man who kidnapped me a long, long time ago, who was my father, who was related to me, but because of hatred, he pushed me off the cliff and used me as a pawn.

I want to be like him, but I can't learn to be like him.

Lu Li still asked the imperial doctor to see me one after another and prescribe medicine.

If I don't drink the medicine, he will force me to drink it, and I will take the medicine softly.

But this medicine, I know very well, can only cure the body, not the heart. And our relationship is like a dilapidated porcelain jade, no matter how difficult it is to repair, only cold.

On the night of Chinese New Year's Eve, it suddenly snowed, and the snow was flying, and the moonlight was even more crystal clear, and I stood outside the house, looking at the night sky, and looked at it for a long time.

The maid felt a little cold outside, and put on a strong robe for me, and wrapped me layer by layer, and I suddenly said, "You say, will he blame me?" ”

"Niangniang, what did you say?"

"I promised someone one thing, but I didn't seem to do it, will he blame me?"

"Why didn't the mother do it?" She asked cautiously. "Because it's so hard." I say.

"The slave thinks that if she is really good to her mother, she will definitely understand her mother."

Will you understand...... I looked at the night sky and stretched out my hand, which felt cold to the touch of snow, but not cold.

People, will there be a next life......

If there is reincarnation, if there is an afterlife......

- "Come home with me, I'll take care of you."

- "You...... Will you leave me behind. ”

- "Never. ”

If there is an afterlife, my lord, you are the talker, and don't leave me behind.

...............................................................................................

Description of an unknown eunuch

The emperor's health has improved a lot, but when I look at him, I feel that he is even weaker than before, and the imperial doctor said that it is a heart disease.

Translated: there is no cure, there is no cure.

I know the reason, because the demon concubine who had the audacity to poison the emperor died in vain.

It is said that she died in the last heavy snow of winter, and she lay quietly on the snow, holding a red concentric knot in her hand.

I didn't feel anything, I just thought that the emperor really loved her.

He was almost poisoned by the demon concubine, and he was obviously betrayed by her, and he would rather die than be with the emperor, such a great shame, but the emperor still remembered her, and ordered someone to seal all the rumors about the demon concubine's badness.

Do you really love her like that?

My godfather was a person who served the emperor since childhood, and I asked him quietly, and he scolded me and asked me not to inquire about this, but he was afraid that I would guess the wrong mind and make mistakes in serving the emperor, so he said to me: "Your Majesty is ashamed and depressed, so you should be careful." ”

I feel guilty and depressed. I repeated it in silence. Why are you ashamed? Your Majesty is the best ruler of the country, and he should be the best person, why should he be ashamed of others.

But then I realized that the best person is the easiest to let down the other.

At that time, the prime minister entered the palace to discuss matters with the emperor, and I was guarding by the door, and something came in my ears.

"Your Majesty, please don't feel guilty anymore, at that time, you also knew that it was the minister, it was the minister who threatened to save Shao Huan with his powerful position, otherwise, he would not support you who was still the prince at the time, so you chose not to save Mingming, people are selfish, and you have great ambitions, you are not an ordinary person, why can't you let go of this."

"Now, the emperor, you have governed the country well, everyone praises you, except for her, you will get what you want, please put it down."

And the emperor's voice was very calm, so calm that I felt that he might just be numb, numb to the pain: "Yes, I ruined her for the first time, and I ruined her for the second time, every time, it was helpless......"

When the emperor died, he was fifty-five years old.

On the day he realized that he was about to run out of energy, he called me over and asked me to draw up a decree that after he died, he would be buried with Concubine Yue.

Concubine Yue, I haven't heard this title for too long, I reacted for a while, and then I remembered that it was the woman who made His Majesty feel guilty.

I answered, and just as I was about to prepare, the emperor stopped me again and said, "Forget it, don't plan it." ”

He was silent for a while, not knowing who he was talking to, and said in a low voice, "...... She should not like me to be buried with her. "After all these years, I know enough things to know, and I know why he said that, but I just hung my head and waited silently.

I don't know if he's pathetic.

But when I think of what the prime minister said to the emperor that day, I only think that maybe the demon concubine is more pitiful.

But I think she should be relieved, and I don't know if she can find the person she has been missing.