Thanks again?? A piece of Sanskrit heart (Chen Guozhu)?? Greatly in?? #路边评摊圈#?? The thousand-word long comment, thank you for your support and suggestions, giving the demon girl a shot in the arm to keep writing! After receiving a big book review, the first ten chapters of the Enchantress have been revised a lot! Thank you very much for your advice!

A piece of Sanskrit heart is also a book! He is the author of "The Mosquito Road Has a Fairy Queen", in which a mosquito drank a mouthful of blood from an ancient god and became an immortal goblin! Later, she was always obsessed with running away and couldn't extricate herself! And a certain god said, "Do you still run away?" Mosquito: Don't run, I really don't have the strength to run because of your toss~! It's fascinating to listen to!

【Passerby Comments】Transferred from?? #路边评摊圈#?? by?? A piece of Brahman's heart

Title: The Demon Girl Chaos Country

Author: Fan cage is also natural

Category: Female frequency ancient sayings

Passerby Commentator: Chen Guozhu

Rating: 83

Impression: During the half-overhead Liu Song and Northern Wei dynasties, a book that intertwined the court, martial arts, Wang Tu, and hegemony was detached from simple love

Story content:

The little girl who loves to practice martial arts has become a monster, and her father let her cheat to death in order to save her. So, the doll and her sword boy have been living in the underground palace.

Later, the dynasty changed, and the girl was demonized again because of the internal conflicts within the family, and she was exiled by the court.

Then the girl and the sword boy changed their faces and were given a new life.

The girl began to experience society, obtained Zhurong, and began to design political swords.

She came to the Northern Wei Dynasty, went to the Tuoba clan's house, and then cheated to death again, and secretly became the guest of the Tuoba clan.

After that, some historical figures began to be introduced, which laid the groundwork for the later historical trend of the Northern and Southern Dynasties.

Merit:

1. Localize history

There should be an understanding of this part of history, or an effort to make efforts. This spirit, praise one first.

Using the heroine's experience to connect an era and looking at those past characters from a third-party perspective is okay.

For example, Tan Daoji, such as the Tuoba clan, and even the Xianbei people at that time had a certain degree of localization.

At least they don't feel like they're dead, and the author has written about the flesh and blood in them.

2, the heroine's gold finger is not particularly big

The heroine has a tragic fate when she is down, and she is displaced. This is much stronger than many YY excesses on the market.

The heroine's golden finger is martial arts, but she won't open it randomly, and at the same time, she also has things that her own martial arts can't solve. For example, if she is poisoned by miasma, she can't solve it.

3. The plot is very natural

This article is out of the routine plot. There is a place that impresses me deeply, and the heroine's father marries another bride.

The bride was arrogant, and when I thought there was going to be a house fight scene, the author immediately cut the plot to prepare for the next female mainstream.

This is no longer a low-level routine, but a high-energy writing style that is oriented by phased results and supplemented by reasonable plots.

In layman's terms, it is writing an amazing plot.

What is the amazing plot? To sum it up in three words: can't guess.

The author's logic runs ahead of the reader, and only then will a situation that cannot be guessed will be formed!

Let's talk about the cons:

1, the presence of the sword boy, who is also the male protagonist, is too low

It is not until chapter 13 that the sword boy has a paragraph-like positive description.

A large part of the article falls on the heroine, which makes the role of the sword boy very chicken, and I feel that any person can replace it, and there is no special and indispensable point!

This character is just loyal and loves the heroine, and if you want to stand like a root, it is probably not enough.

2. Small theater issues

The small theater actually belongs to the extra, and if you put it in the text, it will be very stringed.

One second the reader was still immersed in the main plot, and the next moment, there was a sudden intermission. Isn't this an initiative to provide pee spots for readers?

Personally, you can put it in the author's words, and if you want to see it, you will see it, and it doesn't hurt.

3. There is a sense of distance in the later plot

The early stage is actually quite down-to-earth. But in the back, the heroine arrived in the Northern Wei Dynasty, and after meeting the Tuoba clan, she felt that the author was showing off her skills.

Because it is published on an online platform, online readers generally require a fast-paced plot and character image that can make the reader's brain react quickly.

Long paragraphs, a large influx of characters, will make the reader think, wow, so complicated, so difficult to understand!

If you want to really understand what is written, you have to read it word by word.

But the reader does not have the patience to go word for word.

Personal Advice:

In fact, every writer writes more than just a manuscript every day, and the deeper meaning is to go deep and simple.

I read a book on quantum physics and told about it in a way that everyone could understand, understand, and find interesting.

It's the same with Dada, it's good to be familiar with history, but it's what Da Da needs to do to make every reader feel like they want to understand this history.

Da is sure to be a high-pursuit author, the skills and skills of writing essays are no problem, the speed of the plot is relaxed, and the character building also has his own ideas and experiences.

The more this is the case, the closer it is to the reader. The altar has always been born for breaking, and only the masses are endless!

This is the first time I've scored more than 80 points, so don't blame me! After all, love is deeply responsible~

。 m.