Jiang Yan passed by Shuliang's ward one day when she got off the night shift. In the dim light sat an emaciated figure, eating the leftovers that Jiang Yan had specially brought to him during the day. Jiang Yan looked at his thin back through the narrow door glass, and her heart was sour.

"Why can't I help but feel distressed every time I see him?" Jiang Yan wiped the hanging beads from the corners of her eyes with her fingers, turned around and left gently...

Jiang Yan was emotional, she didn't know how to start, so inexplicably, he walked into her heart and occupied the deepest position there.

She loved it, and she had always been reluctant to accept her father's arrangement. Now, she can find all sorts of excuses to swap hours with her colleagues for ward rounds. Sometimes, she is able to complete the work of the row of wards for her colleagues on the right shift. Intimate colleagues actually know her thoughts, but silently support them.

Jiang Yan is very happy every day because she can see him every day and accompany him. She likes to watch the warm sunlight spread on his pale blue shirt, like the light through the side of his thick hair, like to watch him be quiet when he is focused, like to watch him indifferent when he is in a daze, like to watch the corners of his mouth occasionally hooked, like his inexplicably angry look, like to see his sometimes childish behavior...

This is probably the girl's soft feelings. Love, maybe that's what it looks like, she thought.

She doesn't know how to cook, she flips through the recipe every day and carefully matches the color of the vegetables. She learned to cook meat, to make soup, and to cook porridge. A reasonable balance of nutrients in the food that his body needs every day. She was happy when she thought that the next day he would be able to eat the food she had cooked.

How soft a person's heart is, even a slight touch or a look from a person can pull it there and mess it up.

Sometimes, she would think about the cold book and cut her fingers, sometimes she would think about his expression, burn the vegetables, and sometimes put out the fire because of the overflowing porridge, which could not stop her joyful enthusiasm. She likes to see how serious he looks when he eats. I like to watch him eat it, so she brings rice and is careful not to waste a single grain. I like to watch him drink the water she handed over.

Jiang Yan's mother reminded her more than once how unpalatable the food she cooked, but he always finished it quietly and never complained. She also likes Shuliang, who always calculates everything and things very accurately. She likes the feminine beauty of the cool book, as calm as the bottom of the lake, as peaceful as the autumn water, and clear and pure. Jiang Yan didn't know that she was the dew in the morning, clear and exquisite...

At the beginning, Jiang Yan brought a lot of food, and she couldn't finish the book, so she would always let Jiang Yan eat it together. After a long time, he asked to bring less, and he said that he felt that he had become fat, and some people might not like it. The amorous Jiang Yan thought she was talking about her, so she blushed and said, people don't mind.

Slowly, Jiang Yan noticed some uneasiness in Shuliang, he always unconsciously asked for the date, and his face was full of anxiety. As time went on, his face became more anxious. This made her very worried about Shuliang's state, she could see his loneliness, and she could see that he was struggling every day.

How hard is a person's heart to force himself to do such a perverse thing, and he has persisted for so long.

Jiang Yan didn't know what to do, she could only accompany him as much as possible, coax him to be happy, let him feel as much as possible about his goodness, and let him try to change his own perception and psychological impact, she thought so shyly...

She wanted to hold him and tell him, I am by your side, and I will always be with you, always with you. However, she didn't dare to take risks easily, she was afraid that his sensitivity would suddenly attack, and then she would never have a chance again...

Jiang Yan carefully expressed her love for Shuliang in her own way and carefully maintained his dignity. She read a lot of books to find information, and has a better understanding of the psychology and emotions of Shuliang. As the contact deepened, she felt that he was lonely...

In a relationship, there must be one partner who will compromise, and that will become a habit. This habit affects consciousness and evolves into a seed that is not aware of itself, which is buried deeply, waiting for trivial and narrow watering, waiting for the time to break the ground...

Jiang Yan believes that love should be so happy, it should be so pure, it should be so sweet, and it should be so relaxed. Therefore, she expressed it with this willing attitude and way. She has watched a lot of movies and love stories, and she also looks forward to the beautiful appearance inside.

What she doesn't know is that love can change qualitatively with time and experience. It will change from the initial pleasure to pain, from the initial pure to complex, from the initial sweetness to bitterness, from the initial ease to burden...

The journey of love will be mixed with a lot of prejudice and vulgarity. They will break free from the cage in various ways, clinging to the side of the magnificence with filth, they will mock mercilessly, and shatter the remaining beauty...

This kind girl doesn't think about this, and she is optimistic, and she has never thought about such a problem. She always uses her best side to show him to the fullest. She always wants to give the best to each other, and surrounds him like a cheerful butterfly every day, so that Shuliang is also used to her presence.

Spring is the warmth of the breeze, the silent fragrance of flowers, the sweet feelings of trembling and turbulence, and the bitter sorrow of longing for the morning and twilight...

"Do you know how to walk and stress others?" Jiang Yan sat in front of Shuliang's wheelchair and asked.

“...”

"Put a few coins in your pocket, and walk with the crisp rhythm of metal collisions, so that you will get out of your own sense of rhythm..."Jiang Yan saw that he didn't answer, and explained.

“...”

"Do you know how much saliva a person has a day?"

"Boring!" Shu Liang said in a low voice: "If your intestines are taken out of the body, its length is enough to reach the ground from the third floor!" Shuliang muttered.

"Really?" After more than a year, Jiang Yan finally heard him say so many words at once, and she was very happy to be alone.

"If you can stretch all your veins, you can go around the earth two and a half times in length." Jiang Yan showed off.

"Are you sure?" Shu Liang was surprised, thought for a while and asked, "Your ears and nose are always growing, but your eyes don't, do you know why?" ”

"I don't know!" Jiang Yan replied.

"Because your eyes are so short, so short that even such small eyes are enough for you!"

"Oh..."Jiang Yan secretly looked at him snickering, and reacted.

"You lied to me!" Jiang Yan lightly hammered him.

"Really!" Shu Liang said.

"Shhhh The blood in the body circulates through the body for a week every 56 seconds! Jiang Yan raised his face and said proudly: "Affected by gravity, your height in the morning will be two centimeters taller than in the evening!" ”

"Do you know why?" Shu Liang looked at her, his gaze evading.

"Why?" Jiang Yan asked with wide eyes.

"Because the spine is compressed by the weight of the upper body, and... What book do you read? Only look at half of it? Shu Liang asked.

"I... I just want to see something you don't know..."Jiang Yan muttered quietly.

"Anything else?" Shuliang bowed his head.

"Nails grow 1 nanometer per second, the fastest growing finger is the middle finger, and the toenails of the feet grow four times slower than the fingernails!" Jiang Yan continued as if to invite merit:

"People shed about 650,000 dead grains of skin every day, and they break down into dust and spread around the room..."

"All the iron elements in the human body are taken out and synthesized, and a 3.5-centimeter iron nail will be made!"

Jiang Yan crossed her slender fingers and gestured, and slowly told Shuliang what she saw interesting. Shu Liang looked at her secretly.

"Adults will have an average of about 500 milliliters of saliva every day, and a lifetime of saliva can fill a standard swimming pool... But how big is a standard swimming pool? Jiang Yan asked.

"Generally, it is about 50 meters long, 21 meters wide, and the water depth is more than 1.5 meters, and there are 1,575 cubic meters... Are you sure? Shuliang replied calmly.

"So... Big? I don't believe it! How can there be so much saliva? Isn't that... Drown yourself! Jiang Yan exclaimed.

"So, what books are you reading?"

"Then let's say something else, I'll start..."Jiang Yan was about to change to a more chic one, coughed twice, and said:

"I went a long way to get away from the rogue of summer, so I got into the arms of the winter man, who knows, it actually liked me, dragged me back, and took off my clothes again!" Jiang Yan clenched his fists, closed his eyes, and was lyrical.

Jiang Yan didn't expect applause, she opened her eyes and looked at Shu Liang who was puzzled: "Why aren't you moved?" ”

"I dare not move! I'm afraid that the scoundrel will come and drag me too! Shuliang glanced at her and asked, "This... Is it poetry? ”

"I was last night... I've been thinking about it for a long time! Jiang Yan invited credit: "Amazing, right?" ”

"Awesome!" Shu Liang nodded slightly.

"I had a tablemate in high school who told me the following words: 'My brother often secretly wears my black mesh stockings, and he has just started junior high school this year, which worries me as an older brother!' After saying that, Jiang Yan laughed...

"Isn't it funny?" Shuliang said sarcastically in a cold voice: "You are like a child!" ”

Jiang Yan was very happy to hear it and asked, "Is this a compliment?" ”

"Because nearly half of your hundreds of bones haven't fit! And they're in your head! ”

"What do you mean?" Jiang Yan asked.

"Meaning! You have more bacteria in your mouth than the population on Earth! ”

Jiang Yan was annoyed, she just thought of the special book cold, and she didn't know how to explain it, so the atmosphere suddenly condensed for a while...

"I'm sorry! You know, I didn't mean that..."

“…”

"Mom's cooking is very light, and my dad is from the Northwest. He voluntarily gave up the superior working environment over there for his mother and came here to live, and he could give up everything for her. When I was 5 years old, I once saw him secretly spill a small bag of things into the dish while his mother was going to the kitchen to get something, stirring it... I didn't dare to squeak, and when my mother returned to the table and wanted to pick up the food, I cried and hugged her and told her not to eat it, saying that the food was poisoned by my father. For this, they laugh at me every time they think about it..."Shuliang listened quietly.

"They love me very much, and I am like their private property, dominated... I've never had my own opinions, and I don't know how to respond, even though I'm not happy about it... Until I meet you. So, no matter what happens, I'll be on your side... I want you to be kind to yourself, even if you don't like me, take pity on me... All right? ”

Shuliang struggled fiercely in this warm sorrow. He was no longer able to stand up, three years ago he had actually found signs of his ill health, afraid that he would be distracted, so he had to find the answer himself, and when the answer became clearer, he flinched again.

In his consciousness, there was a strong desire for him to come back, to have him appear in front of him, every day... The reality is that he can only wait so helplessly, silently...

He's trying to restrain himself from interfering with him...

He's doing his best to cooperate with him...

He could not tolerate losing him because of his own negligence, even the slightest negligence, he was so dependent on him...

"In this hospital, it's like a cage, you may never be able to get out again, you may never be seen again, how can a person like you tolerate a drag oil bottle by your side, how can I bear to drag you down..."Shu Liang thought sadly, tears sliding down his cheeks and wetting his collar.

Jiang Yan is like a colorful butterfly, floating over, wanting to take him around. When she got closer, she noticed his emotion, and her heart was sour.

She walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him in her arms. He was like a helpless child, he didn't break free, and even kept a dumb appearance.

Jiang Yan held a person of the opposite sex like this for the first time, and he was also the person he loved the most. But her heart did not tremble at all, she was happy, nor was she excited by his meekness. She had become accustomed to his indifference, and he made her sore.

She just wanted to make it easy for him, so that he wouldn't think about the things that were messing around. She just wanted to hug him well and try to give him as much warmth as possible. Slowly, she buried her face deep in the side of his neck, sniffing his smell deeply, and unconsciously, her lips pressed against his face, and her lips gently "pecked" to wipe the wet marks on his face, and her hands slowly moved to his chest. Shuliang turned his head, his eyes desperate...

Spring is like a delicate little girl, sometimes dressed in a thin gauze dress, chuckling and skimming the grass and the river, bringing a refreshing fragrance. She will use clarity to iron those restless emotions. In her amorous and delicate soothing, what she finally obtained was a soft sweetness, a coquettish blush, and a wisp of glutinous honey...

Early in the morning, Shuliang woke up and found a person lying beside him. Frustrated, he tossed through his deep memories, trying to find an outcome that satisfied him, frustrated that he couldn't convince himself. He slowly closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. However, how can the boiling in my heart be appeased, the rising and burning flame, what to appease...

The door of the ward was pushed open, and a man in a white hexagram and a woman in a gray professional uniform came in, and they saw Jiang Yan sleeping soundly in the hospital bed. Jiang Nan turned around, and as soon as he walked to the door, the quilt on the hospital bed was ruthlessly uncovered and thrown to the ground. Annoyed and angry, Hua Na saw a scene she would never want to admit...

Jiang Yan begged, her parents did not compromise in the slightest...

Finally, she agreed to leave Shuliang, in exchange for him not having to leave the hospital...

She thought that she had finally waited for the sweet flowers and fruits that belonged to her, and she thought...

I never imagined that the taste of happiness had not had time to be savored, and it was exchanged for such an ending. Jiang Yan wanted to look at him again, so she should say goodbye. Her sorrowful appearance had lost the vitality of the past, and her fair face was full of pain. The soulless husk mechanically and with great difficulty moved to the side of the room, leaning against the wall of the doorway. She didn't know how to face it, how to open her mouth. Tears are so bitter, why...

The ward was empty, and the quilt was neatly folded and placed at the head of the bed. The only flaw is that the bed sheet on the hospital bed was torn off a piece of mutilation...

Jiang Yan seems to have realized something bad, something very bad. She searched, frantically searched, under the bed, in the wardrobe, in the bathroom, in the corridor, on the roof, everywhere she could. There was no shadow of him in every corner of the hospital, he seemed to suddenly evaporate, without a trace ...

He disappeared from her vision, silently...

At that moment, her heart was suddenly emptied, and she experienced the pain of tearing, the feeling of losing her beloved, indescribable...

He's gone, gone, and she told herself...

He left in his own way, the smart, tenacious, unusually sensitive and fragile man who was gone...

She approached cautiously, expressed cautiously, and accompanied cautiously, and had already rubbed him into the bottom of her heart...

She was exhausted and helpless...

She sat on the side of the road, buried her face deep in her lap and sobbed.

In the evening, Hua Na and Jiang Nan found Jiang Yan on the side of the street, she raised her face and pointed to the front and begged:

"Mom... I put him... Lost... Can't find it... I can't find him..."

"You know what... His compromise ... You're all doctors, don't you understand? Rejection, anger, compromise, frustration, acceptance..."

"The book is cool... He compromised, Mom... He's been struggling, every day..."

"Do you think... I don't understand anything, I understand him, I'm... Understood..."

Hua Na hugged Jiang Yan: "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Yanyan..."

Jiang R&D's white lips trembled, and he begged:

"I'm really... I can't find him... I beg you! Help me... You help... I'm looking..."

Shuliang hid from a distance and looked at her, biting his palm, not letting himself cry, trying his best to suppress the violent burning madness in his heart...

Finally, he turned around and wanted to leave the place he didn't like in the first place...

"You... Like that girl? His emaciated shoulders trembled, and he stopped, a little incredulous in his ears...

"I... Take you home? "He heard clearly. ' It's his voice! It's him back! He's finally back! He didn't leave me and came to pick me up...'

The big tears on Shuliang's face rolled down, and he couldn't help the pain anymore, bending his shoulders and crying there...

It's been almost 2 years, he doesn't want to endure it anymore, he doesn't have to wait any longer, it's too hard...

He was held in his arms and vented to his heart's content:

“... Where have you been... I thought... You don't want me anymore..."

He hugged him tightly as if he had gone back to the past, as he had done when he was a child, and never let go, never let go...

"You... Carry me..."

"Good!"

"Leave... Here..."

"Good!"

"Far..."

"Good!"

How much beauty is lost to the vulgarity of reality. How much beauty is broken by the filth and ruthlessness. Who plucked that flower, and let this sorrow, the vacuum under this eaves...