Cao Yu'an knew that it was useless to talk too much at this moment, so he silently hugged me in his arms, so that I could sobble under his protection with peace of mind. I want to control my trembling voice so that I can calm down. I felt a pair of large, solid hands gently caress my hair, settling my heart as if it had been rolled by hot lava.

His voice seemed to have a powerful power to calm people: "Although we are sure that he was involved in this merger of the Green and Red Gang, we also speculate that he may have been injured as a result. But until now, his body has not been found in anything, which means that he may still be alive. In this situation, this is the best news. If he was still alive, he would have to hide it so that no one could find out, so that he could get out of it when the storm calmed down. ”

I was shocked by Cao Yu'an's unusually serious tone, raised my head and asked him, "What is it that makes such a big fuss, he ...... There is an organization behind him, can't he save him? ”

Cao Yu'an was amused by my question: "Do you really think this is done by the Qinghong Gang?" If there was no Japanese intervention, would some rabble be able to hurt Shi Yizhi like this? Today's Shanghai Tang seems to be peaceful, but in fact it is a battlefield full of gunsmoke. It's just that due to the intricacies of the forces of all parties, everyone gave up the opportunity to show their heads in the open and transferred all their actions underground. And Shi Yizhi was worried that he would lose the clue, so he made a rash move, and the price he paid could be his own life and that of countless colleagues. ”

I shook my head: "Shi Yizhi is not a reckless and radical person, I have known him for so long, not to mention scheming, he is very calm." ”

Cao Yu'an said: "In this case, think about it, what can make him throw away his life and fight?" A meaningful smile tugged at his lips: "Maybe it's a list, his comrades, his comrades, the names of all the people he wants to protect." So, he learned from the pain and sacrificed his life in exchange for the safety of more people. You say, should he be called noble or laugh at him for being stupid? ”

Only then did I realize that when Shi Yizhi sent me home that day, he didn't feel that he couldn't stop talking about me, but that he was about to face a fierce battle that he had before, and that the end of this fierce battle was death and death. I was speechless by my speculation, and what would have happened if I had known it was so? Is it to hold him down or to help? I was silent, even though I knew all this I would still do nothing for the safety of myself and my family. And this kind of "self-preservation" is not only indifferent but also cruel, which makes the charging revolutionaries lose their shelter and support, and fall into a situation from which there is no way out.

What I could have predicted was dangerous, but it was ten times more dangerous. I sighed and replied in a regretful and helpless tone: "I can understand him, but I can't do what he does." As you have always said, 'Life is precious, freedom is more valuable', and maybe I don't have that strong sense of urgency so far, and I have to give everything for freedom, even my life. I paused and added in a whisper, "After all, you only have one life, and if you miss it, you can't do it again." However, when the time comes, I will not stand still. ”

Cao Yu'an raised his good-looking thick eyebrows and cross-examined: "So it's not a last resort now?" It's not the end of the road?! A cluster of flames flashed in his eyes and disappeared instantly: "Now the enemy's butcher's knife has been set on your and my necks, if you don't resist, you can only survive if you die." I can protect you for a while, but I can't save you for a lifetime. I wanted to hold up a carefree sky for you, but now you have to face the wind and waves yourself. ”

I laughed and said, "I'm not like you who have connections and skills, and I'm not like you who are alone in China, and I'm not afraid of involving my family." Of course, it's not like I haven't tried it, you may have known it for a long time, I checked the Japanese and you for Gu Zuoyan. At that time, I was also full of enthusiasm and ambition, thinking that if I could catch my big handle, it would be considered a great merit. But as you can see, my actions are not only not heroic, not only are I a timid marionette, but I almost made your hard work come to naught. So I was scared, I flinched, I couldn't be a hero, I might as well be an ostrich quietly, bury my head in the sand, and not worry about this terrible and hopeless world. Since I was kidnapped this time, I have also thought a lot, and I think that if I have the opportunity, I will choose to go away with my family. As for the revolution and the cause, naturally some people will worry and pay, and there is no shortage of me. "I tried my best to pretend to be cold-blooded and dismissive, but in fact only I knew how much I feared the nightmares that came up at night, so real, so palpable. The raging fire seemed to leave a burning pain on my skin, and the hoarse cries and terrible cries were deafening with great momentum, and at that moment I was alone, unable to save myself, so I could only watch my loved ones die. A chill spread to all the limbs, and it was only at this time that I really tasted "despair" for the first time.

I was worried, and I couldn't help but have a timid look on my face. Cao Yu knew it with peace of mind, but he didn't debunk me, but just said: "Whether it's the last moment, you have to weigh it yourself." As for what you can do and whether you can help us, the answer is definitely yes. It's just that it depends on whether you are willing to do it and how much you are willing to pay, it depends on your own mind, and I will naturally not force you. He sighed, and then said: "I will try my best to inquire about Mr. Shi's safety these days, and if there is any news of him, I will tell you first." ”

I saw that he seemed to intend to end the topic as soon as possible and leave, and I had already thought about it countless times in my heart, and the sentence that I couldn't ask in the end was "I don't want to be with Gu Zuoyan, but if there is any news about him, please be sure to tell me." If he is in trouble, please find a way to save him. "Of course, I'm glad that I didn't say it after all, if I did this, I would inevitably pull Cao Yu'an into the water. This matter has nothing to do with him, and if he is implicated, it may take his life. If that were the case, I would be an executioner with blood on my hands.

I was silent for a long time and told him, "Maybe you're right, I've reached an existential point. But I still haven't figured out how to save myself and my family. If my relationship had killed them, I would have been to blame for all deaths. ”