Some questions have probably been bothering the second brother for a long time, he hesitated for a long time, and finally couldn't help but ask me: "You will graduate in a few months, but now the school has been withdrawn to the rear." When the time comes, will you go to the rear with your classmates, or will you stay in Shanghai and wait until the situation stabilizes before making plans? ”

His question was what bothered me the most these days, and I thought it was a difficult decision to make, but at this moment, the answer suddenly came out. I silently thought in my heart that when it came to the moment of life and death, I couldn't leave my family and fly away alone. There is a saying that seems to say that when the end of the world comes, I will only want to be with my family. And at this moment, I think so, too.

In the same way, there is another reason that I want to say but can't, I think that if I stay in Shanghai, maybe I can do more for Gu Zuoyan, maybe I can also make some insignificant contributions to this huge war, only in this way, no matter what the outcome of the war, I can have a clear conscience.

I thought of my father and second brother, whom I hadn't seen for a long time, and like most of those who fought against Japan, even if they paid with their lives, they were still just one of countless unknown martyrs. But in any war, people may see a commander who is strategizing, but every victory is forged by countless unknown people with their lives.

In the end, I just told my second brother: "I don't believe that this battle can be fought for many years, anyway, I am still young, and when the war is won, it is not too late to go to college." ”

The second brother didn't plan to let me go easily: "But what can you do if you stay in Shanghai?" Naturally, you can't be idle with this kind of temper, or I will find you an errand in a foreign bank, so that the family will have an extra income, and you can realize the ideal of a professional woman. ”

I stared gloomily at my toes, completely unable to find the spirit of the year: "Well, there is nothing wrong with arranging my life like this, but my ideals are completely different." I used to think every day that I could be a surgeon, and I never thought that every day of my life was full of explosions, bloodshed, separation, and death. I turned my head sideways and saw the second brother's bright eyes, and suddenly sadness came to me: "I feel very tired, scared and confused, I don't know how long this will last, and I don't know what will happen in the future." I don't want my whole life to be ruined by this inexplicable war, can you tell me what to do? ”

The second brother stretched out his hand and patted me on the shoulder: "I'm sorry, I can't help you with all these troubles you encounter." Like you, I don't know if what I'm doing makes sense or not, and I don't know where this war is going. Everything we are doing today is actually a gamble with no result, and the only thing that can comfort me is that I have done my best, so I have a clear conscience. ”

His words are helpless and cruel, but they are the truest portrayal of reality. In fact, in troubled times, people's struggles and efforts to survive are often destroyed in an instant.

And I was so busy with self-pity that I didn't hear his voice. It wasn't until much later that I recalled the conversation and realized that the outcome had been foreshadowed, but that we had been too careless to find out. At that time, I also thought about how good it would be if there was a regret medicine in the world, but it was destined to be a pipe dream.

The penultimate semester of high school passed quietly in the chaos. Cao Yu'an didn't know what kind of mentality he had unprecedentedly put down his busy work and social interactions, and rushed to attend my graduation ceremony, but I didn't know anything about his appearance.

In the solemn auditorium, I reminisced about my journey over the past two years. I deliberately avoided the bloody war and the chaos of the times, but I was surprised to find that my life had long been intertwined with the war and the current situation, and could no longer be separated. No one is a bystander in this war that is spreading across the country, and no one is out of it. We have been completely changed, and we are kept in the dark. I heard myself say in a trembling but firm tone: "The dreams we once had and the beliefs we held on to were shattered overnight, and we were confused and at a loss, not knowing what we were going to do next, or whether tomorrow would be easier than today." However, my brother's words woke up the dreamer, saying that the more we think, the more difficult it will be for us to move forward, and in such an era, we must let go and do what we think is right, no matter what the outcome, at least with a clear conscience. Today I also give this sentence to you, maybe many people feel that there is no room for a quiet desk in troubled times, or some people feel that a person's efforts cannot save the overall situation, but as long as we have worked hard, we can have a clear conscience, and any result will no longer be so unbearable. ”

I ended my statement with a round of applause. The faces of the classmates, who were flushed with excitement, became more and more blurred. I quietly turned my head away and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, the hot touch on my skin made me believe I was crying. I can't figure out what kind of state of mind I have at this time, maybe it's relief, maybe it's relief, or maybe it's a kind of courage born of adversity. I think that from now on, I will establish my faith even more, even if I will sacrifice my family, love and even my life because of it, I will not hesitate to do so.

I stepped off the stage, pulled back to reality by a familiar voice in the dimly lit place. Cao Yu'an was wearing a black tweed coat and leaning against the wall of the auditorium, and the whole person was hidden in the dark, and I almost didn't recognize him. He was pleased to show off his little white fangs when he saw me, and then said to me in a gentle, deceptive voice, "That's right, you're so young anyway, and you always deserve to be forgiven anyway." ”

The scorching heat passed through his palm to mine, and my senses, which had been numb to the cold, became active. I didn't look at his face with trepidation, only to hear him say, "I've always wanted to surprise you, and today is a good opportunity." As he spoke, he pulled his right hand out from behind his back, and a small velvet box lay quietly in the palm of his hand, on which the diamond shimmered with a charming sheen, still visible in the darkness. Without giving me a chance to breathe, he immediately got down on one knee and gently took my left hand. This series of movements was done smoothly, as if it had been rehearsed countless times in advance. His eyes sparkled in the dark, like diamonds in black velvet.