Koshiro frowned in pain, the blood on his face faded, pale and haggard, he reached out to hold his head, his eyes were irrepressible pain, and his eyes were gloomy and sad.

Self-blame, remorse, guilt...... Hit the heart, like a hand grasping the heart tightly, every time the wife said a word, it was like a little more force, the nails of that hand pinched into the heart, breaking the skin and bleeding endlessly......

He felt so sorry for his wife and children that he was suffocated, so that he couldn't breathe, and he was more ashamed and blamed, his voice was hoarse and weak, as if he was getting old in an instant, "It's my fault, it's all my fault......"

If he is separated when he leaves.

If he sends back something in two.

Isn't it all the same?

Becoming a soldier is for the sake of her early life, in order to make her and her children live a better life, but she can't protect them when she leaves home.

It's a dead knot that can never be untied, and no matter what decision he makes, he will treat his wife and children badly.

Even though he is now famous, he has defended the country, killed the enemy, and is admired by the people of the border city, and has become a general, a hero.

But it is...... In front of his wife and children, a coward who can't hold his head up.

A ...... who has failed his wife and children through and through Coward.

Family and country, for those of them who are soldiers, it is too difficult, and it is too difficult to take care of them all.

Defended the country, shed blood on the battlefield, and even died on the battlefield with a horse leather shroud, becoming a hero, becoming a martyr, admired by others, but ...... And how many more, did not live up to the family?

It's hard to have both worlds.

He did not regret being a soldier.

I only regret that I was too tender, too stupid, and trusted my mother too much three years ago.

thought that even if his own mother was partial, she would not really starve his wife and children to death.

But he overestimated his own mother.

Knowing that selling military merit to General Wu was to be skinned by the tiger, but thinking of the hard life at home, he still sold it, for the silver, in order to let his wife and children live a prosperous life.

But who would have thought that sending back all the money he had worked hard would not be able to exchange his wife and children for his mother...... Half pity.

She drove his wife to work in the fields as cattle and horses, and drove his wife and children out, and beat his son to the point of maiming him, so that his wife had no way to seek medical treatment, and even thought of dedicating herself to saving her son......

He closed his eyes and held back the tears in his eyes.

He died on the battlefield, and there were only three people left in the vanguard army in the end, and in the face of thousands of enemy troops, he did not shed tears, did not have such despair and pain, and could still kill the leader of the enemy army, and find a way to survive in the moment of death.

But I didn't expect that because of my mother's harsh treatment of my wife and children, I wanted to cry because of the pain and self-blame, and I couldn't hold back my tears.

He had a grudge against his eldest son, and when he wrote to his lord, he didn't dare to guarantee that he could completely let go of his mother's resentment.

But now he felt that even if his son hadn't killed those people, when he knew the truth about it, he would have gone crazy when he went back.

After experiencing the bloody slaughter on the battlefield, he was already brutal in his bones, and if he went crazy, he didn't know what he would do.

In the face of his wife, he felt guilty, painful, and hated his powerlessness.

complained about myself three years ago, when I was too young, too stupid, too stupid, and too close to those family affections.

Three years ago, he was just a mud kid in the countryside, and he was a big old man, who didn't care about the past and the future. He arrived at the barracks, with full ambitions, but was frequently frustrated, was arranged to the vanguard army sent to death, experienced the bloody baptism of the battlefield, after the intrigue in the army, he slowly grew up, three years, let him learn a lot, but it is too late, too late to understand, too late to mature.

Three years ago, if I could have been more mature and smarter, I would have arranged everything in an orderly manner.

Perhaps, everything will be different.

"Now...... Is it still too late? I...... It's really wrong, I won't blame the big head, it's my useless father who didn't protect you well, so he was forced to grow up at a young age......"

"Yingniang...... Let me spend the rest of my life atoning for my sins, making amends for you, and making amends for my children...... Good no good? ”