It's another Friday, and time flies so fast, I can't even remember if it's the third Friday or the fourth Friday, it seems like the fourth Friday. It's been almost a month since that special day, but some memories and thoughts have not faded with time, but have increased unabated, and I don't know how long it will take to completely forget them, but it proves that a month is far from enough. Since last week, there has been no rest on weekends, and I have been working for half a month, I have been working normally this week, and I still choose not to rest, continue to be numb and continue to keep myself busy, the most important reason is, of course, to send breakfast to AH Sometimes you may also send a lunch overtime meal, generally overtime meals are OK, AH should like to eat. I don't know how long this will last, at least now Anhui needs it, she didn't refuse and I will continue to do it. Unless she really doesn't need it anymore......

Today is also a festive day, went to the wedding of the neighbor's inheritance, in the most prosperous neighborhood and business district of Bengbu. Today, I got off work with my colleague Brother Tao, first came to my house to rest for a while, contacted the neighbor downstairs Erjun, and set off on time at six o'clock. There is a traffic jam in the evening rush hour from one to six o'clock in Yintai City, so it is more convenient to choose to ride a battery car. Yesterday, the air conditioner after-sales treatment of the air conditioning pipeline, the sewer is still not open, just in the right time to call the property, the property manager Zhang personally to deal with it, inevitably trouble and bother the neighbor next door, from his window down, it took a lot of effort to finally dredge the pipeline, and the water pipe arrangement finally completely solved the problem of air conditioning water.

At six o'clock on time to send the second army WeChat, on time to set off, he rode with his daughter and wife, I took my colleague Tao brother to follow behind, the route is not familiar with the road to follow all the way, said that this point people and cars are a lot, especially the crowd of people who ride battery cars to get off work, after several traffic light intersections, turn left to Intime City, at this time it has been half an hour, we thought it was late, ten minutes later than the agreed time, to the Norman Hotel, found that there are many colleagues did not arrive, this hotel is relatively new and tall, The theme is a children's hotel, there are many children's fun items, and the service is also very considerate, a rare StarWorld Hotel. I found a random place to sit down, and when I looked around, I found many familiar faces, and I didn't say hello much. At this point, I feel bored, playing with my phone and waiting for the ceremony to begin.

This is a few words I wrote casually at the time: I came to attend the wedding of the neighbor's inheritance today, and I was with the neighbor's second army and Brother Tao. The Normanley Hotel is high-end and high-end, and many colleagues are with their families, and there don't seem to be many people like me who are single, which is why I am reluctant to attend the wedding, and the excitement of others seems to have nothing to do with me. In a noisy environment, chaotic music, and ever-changing lights. Those people who are smiling and chatting should be happy from the bottom of their hearts. At this moment, I am lonely in my heart, anyway, I plan to be single for a lifetime, and my marriage should be far away.

The noisy and joyful atmosphere seemed to be far from himself, and he was very uncomfortable, but he still persevered. I found out that I had always liked quiet, didn't like to be busy, liked to be alone, and didn't like to party. The reason for riding today, I didn't drink a drop of wine, I drank a glass of mango juice, and I didn't care too much about liquor. The wedding ceremony is very solemn, interspersed with many interesting game links, maybe not usually because of the game, shake the luck is not good, the hand speed is also average, and there is no award. However, in the last wave, in the shake, a small red envelope of 4.5 yuan was drawn, which can be regarded as a little joy. At about nine o'clock, the ceremony was over, and many of the guests had begun to leave their seats one after another, and after the candy was distributed, I suggested that we also go, after all, we were already full of wine and food, although we had not drunk.

The overall feeling of today's meal is average, bells and whistles, flashy, in fact, I haven't eaten much, so I'm more interested in a dish - Buddha jumping over the wall. At that time, an elective course I took at the university seemed to be the study of Chinese cuisine, and I always talked about the allusion of "Buddha jumping over the wall", and I almost forgot it, but I have always remembered the name of this delicacy. Today's Buddha jumping over the wall is a soup, the name is called the world's first soup, the royal Buddha jumping over the wall, and I understand the hodgepodge is very different, I don't know if it is authentic, that is, the container of the soup is more generous and elegant, the taste is OK, but it is not the kind of taste in my impression. In fact, I don't like to participate in crowded activities, today is a challenge to myself, many previous weddings are entrusted to friends with gifts, I just want to change myself, in the face of the lively and complicated environment, the true feeling of my heart, I think it is still empty, no expectation may not be disappointed.

When I came back, I also drove Tao Di to follow the neighbor's second army, there were a lot of people at night, and there were many battery cars, and I controlled my speed more slowly when I rode with the lights on. This time, along Donghai Avenue, then turn left into Hongye Road, then turn right to Yingbin Road and then turn to Yongye Road, which saves a lot of distance. Brother Tao's house is in Fengyang, and it is inconvenient to take a taxi at night, so I took him to stay at home. Back to the door of the community unit, just happened to meet the neighbor next door with a child from the outside, I gave today's candy to the child, anyway, I have not liked to eat sugar, to the child to enhance the feelings of the neighborhood, my home air conditioning drainage is not smooth caused by the dampness of his wall although not my reason but has been sorry no apology, the property this time did not inaction, promised to deal with the neighbor's warranty project as soon as possible, this is also a remedy, as much as possible to reduce some of the apologies.

I just went to the living room to turn off the TV and downlight, Brother Tao has finished washing and rested on the second bed, I turned off the ceiling light in the room and turned on the night light at the head of the bed, he was still playing games on his mobile phone, and told me to go to bed early and I continued to come over and finish writing my diary of going to bed early today. Boys seem to like games and live broadcasts, after watching the SN and LGD game, it's not exciting at all, it's a three-to-0, SN advances to the finals as the third seed, and LGD continues to bubble up and compete for the last LPL spot with the first two S tournament championships. It seems that my early bedtime diary is written into a running account, and I write whatever comes to mind.

Today is the first time I have stayed at my house since I moved, and there were people who left late before, but they didn't stay overnight. I remembered AH, when she came to the house to sit on the floor, and I rode her back to the dormitory late to get wet in the rain, just like yesterday. The throbbing of watching a film with a girl for the first time, many first experiences, that's why AH is so special and memorable for me. To be honest, after leaving home from AH, I really didn't watch movies for a month, there was no contact stimulation, etc., I admit that I quit sex for a month, I don't have a I think I did it, my self-control has gradually improved, I am very happy. This is also the sixteenth day in a row that I have been writing an early bedtime diary.

I haven't been to the second bedroom for sleep since I left AH, I couldn't sleep at all after I tried, I would always think of AH, everything about her smile, her words. I calmed down and she asked me to wash the bed and change the room layout so it was easy to forget her. But I didn't do it, I couldn't do it, I kept it as it was, as if the smell of her hair shampoo had not gone away, I always missed the temperature of my body, and every moment I felt as if it were yesterday. Tonight, I still let Brother Tao sleep in the second bedroom, and I continue to sleep in the tatami room. At this moment, my heart is also as calm as water, although I miss AH a little, but there is no impulse, no desire, and some are restrained. Like is presumptuous, but love is restrained. I feel like I'm slowly learning to love, and although I lack love, I don't know how to love people, and I keep denying myself, but I experience that kind of desire to love, albeit if it's a vague existence.

Usually on Fridays, I try to write as many words as possible, because my thoughts are always very complicated at this moment, and I always think of that night on Friday. When everything is calm, it seems as if it had never happened, and it doesn't seem real at all. Tomorrow I have to get up early to work overtime, continue to bring breakfast to AH, just write here, it's already eleven o'clock, this is the moment when I allow myself to sleep late on the weekend, maybe insomnia and nightmares will repeat the same mistakes, but going to bed early has become a daily habit, just like writing now. From that day on, my writing was to forget a person, something, so that I would no longer be bothered by memory, and as soon as I vomited, all thoughts and thoughts were filled with words, hidden and diluted between the lines. I remember writing the preface at that time, recording the days I went to bed early every day, and how much I missed you, and changing myself day by day. This is something I have insisted on doing, and I will continue to do it every day without interruption at will. I like to get used to this word, maybe there is helplessness and evasion, but I can always accept it calmly, and I feel that my persistence has meaning.

Get used to all the habits you can, such as getting used to going to bed early, getting used to insomnia, getting used to waking up early, getting used to the days when you can bring breakfast every day, getting used to the opportunity to write every day. These delicate existences, which are easy to ignore, have long been ingrained in the seemingly unchanging life of every day. I don't know when I'll break this habit, and I don't know if I'll not get used to it when the time comes. Tomorrow will get up early will continue to bring breakfast to AH, and it should be a double portion, this is the habit, if possible at noon, send an overtime meal to her, this is the habit of every weekend, it seems that even now the weekend two days of work without rest has become a habit, habit is really an interesting existence, change will happen quietly, but also a habit that can be accepted and controlled, this is the meaning of life. Life needs to change, but also get used to all the changes! What is changing is not life itself, but oneself, including one's own heart and behavior!

Good night yourself, it's late, you need to rest, may you have a good dream!