The moment his figure completely disappeared in front of me, I suddenly reluctantly wanted him to leave.

I slammed open the hotel door and chased it barefoot out of the door.

I stood in the corridor, looked at his back, and shouted eagerly: "Hua Ming-you, you have to be careful, I will always wait for you to come back obediently, Hua Ming, I think we can make a big deal small?" I—We're not going to make a big fuss..."

He turned his head to look at me standing in the doorway, and slowly turned back to me.

He raised his hand to help me hang my wet hair behind my ears, looked at me and said, "Liu Zijun, don't think nonsense, just wait for me to come back - if you don't want to continue to participate in this mathematical modeling competition, you can withdraw from the group, and I will find a suitable classmate to help you top." You can re-register for next summer, and you can still continue to participate..."

I hurriedly shook my head: "No, no, no, Huaming, I don't want to give up halfway!" I don't know if there's something more important next year... Besides, I've been studying for so long, I must participate in this competition to test myself, and I, I, I'll go back to class tomorrow morning..."

He shook his head and said: "Zijun, don't worry, in fact, on such a hot day, everyone can concentrate on assault to this stage, and it should be slow, you can live here with peace of mind, I will help you take a week off, it will not have any impact..."

Before I could shake my head, he pressed my head above my ears and "forced" me to nod his head, laughing loudly: "Hehe, since you agree, then listen to you." Just a week, and you'll be with me. After this week, I may leave Luoyang temporarily, this time it will be a long time, Liu Zijun, I don't believe you will give up on me..."

I was a little worried and wanted to ask. He pressed my shoulder and comforted: "Liu Zijun, don't worry, the water in the bathtub should be almost full, you are still wet, go back to bubbles." If you're afraid, if you start thinking about what you don't have, count them at once. No matter how scared you are, don't close your eyes, just keep them open when you can, you can put the sound out of the TV, and wait for me to come back..."

I nodded: "Well, Hua Ming, I'll wait for you." ”

He added: "Whatever you want, call the front desk directly, don't be afraid of trouble in the middle of the night, they will be happy to oblige..."

Seeing him leave, I closed the hotel door, walked to the glass room, turned off the faucet, stepped into the warm pool, and buried my whole body in the water.

I held my breath over and over again to allow myself to soak in the warmth of the pool.

I scrubbed my hair desperately, carefully washing my scalp until my otherwise smooth black hair turned into a handful of dead grass. soaked until the skin of his whole body turned white and wrinkled.

The air conditioning in the hotel was a little cold, so I put on my hotel pajamas, wrapped in a snow-white quilt, and lay on the big bed, waiting for him to return.

On my side is the same snow-colored pillow, and here, there is about to be someone in my heart who will put it on the pillow.

The past that I wanted to forget, the past that had made me nervous, the past that scared and scared me, suddenly I didn't hate it.

Because, in front of the computer room, Hua Ming said: Even if I am finished, there is still him.

We, tonight, are going to sleep together.

I can't help but think about it.

Tonight, should I tell him about my unbearable past?

I should be honest.

I had to tell him what happened when I was 13...

Then, Hua Ming, will he care about my past?

Will he dislike me?

I shook my head: Hua Ming, he shouldn't care...

However, it is said that there are very few people who truly love each other and do not care about each other's first time.

So, me, what should I do?

If, if he cares, he will be sad, and even, he will even hate that I have been ruined...

I quickly shook my head: no, he won't, he said: even if I'm finished, there will still be him...

Over the years, I've heard a lot of nice words: praise, praise, encouragement...

But the only thing that touched my heart the most was this sentence.

However, there is a contingency for everything. In case the time comes, he really cares...

Then, Liu Zijun, do you want to make a break with him in front of you completely?

"If Hua Ming cares, then Liu Zijun, have you thought about it in advance: how will you live for the rest of your life? …”

"Liu Zijun, don't cry, Hua Ming won't care, he won't... At the age of 13, you were also powerless... At that time, you were only 13 years old, didn't you almost die? You've fought so hard, but how can you, who is so thin, fight like that... You survived with great difficulty... Hua Ming will definitely not care when he knows, didn't Hua Ming say: 'Even if you are finished, you still have him'..."

"I'm not sad, even if I am really beaten back to my original form after tonight, if Fu Huaming doesn't want me; I also have to try to control myself, I don't despair; For the rest of my life, I will be alone and lonely, and I will be strong..."

"Yes, I'm going to try to live. When Hua Ming was 13 years old, he was not there, and I could crawl out of such a dark and desperate hell, survive, and live to this day. Now that I've grown into a big girl, how can I be more and more fragile inside? No, it won't..."

….

Thoughts collided in my brain and heart, and the sound of coming out from all directions stirred my brain. I closed my eyes and recited silently over and over again: don't think about it, believe Hua Ming, he is Hua Ming, and when he was leaving, he specially told me - don't think nonsense...

Yes, empty yourself and wait for him to return...

The warm lights of the hotel are bright yellow, shining on the snow-white bed, and everything is painted in a warm and warm color.

My eyes were fixed on the wall, observing the patterns that rippled on the brown-red siding, but for the most part I was watching the beating numbers in the plaque-style clock on the siding.

It was late at night, the hotel was well insulated, and the thunderstorm seemed to have long since stopped.

I stared at the number on the plaque and added it up second by second, and when it jumped to 01:30:00, the door of the living room "tick-tick" a few times, and someone swiped it with a card from outside.

I pricked up my ears vigilantly to discern footsteps on the porch of the hall.

I heard his comforting voice coming from the door: "Don't be afraid, it's me." ”

I lifted the quilt, ran barefoot and excitedly ran over to meet him.

He was watered by the rain. There was a strange dark color on his dark cuffs, rain or blood, I couldn't tell whether it was rain.

He closed the door to his hotel room and carried a black paper bag in his hand.

I smelled the aroma of tobacco mixed with a strong smell of blood.

I asked in a panic: "Hua, Hua Ming, he, he didn't die, didn't he, didn't make a fuss, did he?" ”

He put his things on the coffee table in the room, and said in a deep tone: "No, don't worry, of course he is still alive, but, he will never do anything to you in the future - you go back to bed and sleep, from now on, you can close your eyes, tomorrow you don't have to go to class, sleep in..."

He hugged me, quickly let go, turned and went to the glass room, and pulled the shutters in the glass room.

I pressed my beating heart and silently returned to bed.

That night, we both slept together.

The two of us fell into the big white bed.