It seemed that Hua Zheng didn't look right when he saw me, and slightly dissipated his previous anger, he followed me to the bed, and finally squatted at the head of my bed and said:

"Liu Zijun, I won't force you, you just have to tell me, when did you and your eldest brother start? I'm not reconciled, he has returned to Luoyang only a handful of times in the past six months, when did you get together? ”

"I wish he could be with me..."

"So, you like my big brother, don't you? You like him a little more, don't you? ”

I lay under the covers, didn't have the strength to nod, just curled up like that, silently closed my eyes...

"So, from now on, you don't want to talk to me, do you?"

He seemed to remember the red trench coat I was wrapping in: "This dress on your body was picked by your eldest brother for you, right?" He seems to understand you very well..."

I squeezed out the moisture in my eyes, closed my eyes, and said to him at the head of the bed:

"Senior Hua Zheng, I'm really tired, don't tell your brother that you're chasing me in the future, I never planned to accept friendship other than friends and relatives...... As for your brother, he just felt a little sorry for me and was too lonely to spend the New Year in the dormitory alone, so he sent me here to be warm and warm; Anyway, thank him and thank you. In addition, I forgot to wish you well, Senior Hua Zheng, happy Spring Festival, you go, help me close the door of the hotel, don't say anything more, don't say a word again..."

There was always something out of the corner of my eye, and I silently pulled the quilt and covered my head.

Hua Zheng really didn't say anything more.

There was silence in the room, and I don't know how long it took for me to hear him walk out of the room, out of the living room, and close the door to the hotel.

Yes, that day, I couldn't wait to come to Huaming.

After Hua Zheng left, I couldn't close my eyes, I stared at the European-style palace lamp on the ceiling with my eyes open, and I saw 5 o'clock in the morning.

As soon as the sky was bright, I took off the red windbreaker given by Hua Ming, put on my old sweater and the red duck down jacket I had originally prepared, left the hotel room directly, found the bus stop, slowly rolled over the ice and snow accumulation on the road, and returned to school.

In the future, I may have to lose Fu Huazheng, a good friend.

That's fine, I've always been very good at reading, and without the guidance of his good friend, I wouldn't be too bad, maybe I'll be more independent and concentrated, right? Shouldn't I just be here to concentrate on studying?

I touched the new red clothes given by Hua Ming, folded them carefully, and pressed them into the deepest part of the single-door wardrobe in the dormitory.

Hua Ming, in fact, he has me in his heart, right?

Otherwise, on that snowy Chinese New Year's Eve, how could he suddenly appear?

However, Hua Ming, why didn't he keep the promise to go back to the hotel on the night of Chinese New Year's Eve?

Is it because he really shoulders the responsibility of the Fu family's generation and has to marry the jewel of the Wan family?

…

They all said that you can't clean up on the first day of the Lunar New Year, but on that day, I made up my sisters' beds and desks in the dormitory.

I used the hot water from the radiator and mixed some cold water from the winter faucet, soaked my black duck down that I had worn for a long time and everyone's sheets, and finally rubbed it desperately until I was sweating, I tried to wash them all clean, I didn't want anything.

Finally, I hung them on the clothes pole hanging high in front of the window, watched them harden and straighten rapidly in the cold air, and watched as they hung with sparkling frost and clear ice edges at the hem.

I was almost running out of dry food such as millet grains, bread, and instant noodles before the holiday. The kiosks on campus have long been locked, and the small restaurants in front of the school are closed, and they will not be open until the Lantern Festival.

The school gate was wide open, and the security guard uncle was so cold that he hid and disappeared.

I stomped my feet for an hour at the bus stop in front of the school gate to wait for a bus. Once you're on the bus, listen carefully as the wheels crunch over the snow that hasn't yet begun to melt.

I went to a wholesale seller in the city called Dazhang, weighed some rice grains and pickles, and bought some bread and instant noodles.

From the first day of the new year to the fifteenth day, I turned off my phone during these fifteen days. Although, there are very few numbers on the address book.

When I was cleaning up the closet, my eyes touched a touch of blue hidden inside, and I remembered the boy who found out that I was stealing books and didn't report me when I was in high school, and kindly gave me this blue hardcover version of "Three Words and Two Beats" in front of me.

So, I spent ten days opening this set of books.

During those ten days, I was intoxicated by beautiful and romantic love stories, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, as if I had wasted ten days, but I did not regret it at all.

In those ten days, I saw all the love in the world: for love, the young ladies and sons who disregarded the fetters of the world and did not hesitate to die; Men and women who fight for freedom and courage against fate...

In that set of books, I saw the stains and flashes of human nature, the inequality of all beings, and the bold pursuit of equality.

After reading the whole set of books, there were a thousand words rushing in the blood in my heart, and after reading it, I bit the pen all night, and wanted to write a long reading feeling in the Japanese book.

But I thought about it, and when I finally put it down: I only silently wrote a few sentences:

"He who holds the plow in his hand and looks backward is not worthy to enter the kingdom of God; All beings can be equal, but "equality" is by no means something that ordinary people can wait silently and can wait to get what they want..."

Yes, equality does not come in silence.

Especially I am a tainted person, I am "under the ordinary".

At that moment, I changed my goal for my university and my life, and this time it was more long-term, and this goal was Fu Huaming.

Even if he is out of reach.

I can pursue equality in my own way, and the previous goal, going to Tsinghua University, is only the first step.

Going to Tsinghua University is not just an obsession of youth, nor is it for a better life in the future, but for the first step to catch up with Huaming, the first step I can take.

Maybe, a little harder, a little harder, I still hope to be able to get him.

Yes, I can't rush, since the goal is so clear, I have to learn to wait and endure...

I cut out those two lines, put them on my desk, and began to look through the professional books I had borrowed from the library without distraction.

As soon as the Lantern Festival passed, the dormitories and campus were lively again. The second semester of that year passed quickly, and I was too busy to pursue my dreams.

Although, Hua Zheng and I still occasionally pass by.

However, we are no longer as open as we used to be; I never heard him on my phone again. I've been wondering if I'd have a chance to give him the phone back, but I didn't know how to phrase it so that it wouldn't "anger" him or break his heart.