Hometown timidity. Half an hour before I got off the train, I leaned against the window, through the green protective net, and in the distance there were endless fields, and I suddenly burst into tears.

Everything that has passed away in my hometown, except for the memories of the road when I was 13 years old, the rest is not that I don't miss it at all...

After getting off the train, I made two more bus transfers, and it was already 4 p.m. when I got to the village.

I carried my luggage and walked the streets of the township looking for grocery stores selling money, paper money, fireworks, and lighters.

Since Chinese New Year's Eve is approaching, every family has to go to the reunion year, and most of the department store owners have closed since the afternoon.

I dragged the suitcase with the peony cake given by Wanwan's mother and walked through all the grocery stores and stalls.

The winter wind was howling dryly and coldly, but I was sweating profusely, and finally found a shop that had not yet closed, and gathered all the things for the sacrifice.

There were more things in my hand, and there was still a 20-mile journey from the village to my grandmother's grave. Listening to the firecrackers set off from house to house, I anxiously searched the streets for transportation that would take me to my grandmother's grave.

Seeing an old lady driving a tricycle to deliver wine passing by with an apron on, I grabbed the edge of her car so boldly and quickly for the first time.

I still vividly remember the conversation with her:

"Auntie, aunt stop, I, I can't walk. There are a lot of things to bring, please send me to Liu Dang, right? ”

My aunt stopped the car and glared at me: "Little girl, today is the Chinese New Year's Eve, it's afternoon now, it's going to be dark soon, my man is ready for Chinese New Year's Eve dinner at home." ”

I nodded hurriedly, "Auntie, I also know that the Chinese New Year is coming, and the uncle must be in a hurry to wait at home, do you want to say hello to the uncle and then set off?" Auntie, please, I haven't been home for 2 years, I haven't bought a suitable train ticket, I walked to Liudang Village alone, it must be dark, you see, you send me, I'll give you the fare, I'll pay you now, 100 can you see it? ”

Before I had time to take out the money, my aunt patted the tricycle and responded: "Hey, it's not easy for everyone, little girl, have you just come back from work?" If you have money or no money to go home for the New Year, you will be a fellow countryman when you come back, sit on it, sit on it, I will send you, aunt, you sit tight, I will drive quickly. ”

I sat on the edge of the tricycle in the open air, holding on to the railing behind my aunt, and began to drive towards the eternal village in my memory, despite the cold wind that blew from the north in winter.

Go to the grave where my grandmother is lying.

The wheat fields along the road are pale green, and the big trees in the villages in the distance are bare and dead, and from a distance, the large bird's nest at the top of the big tree that has shed its leaves is particularly eye-catching.

It was a path that I had to go through, a path of sin.

It's almost there: where I struggled desperately when I was 13.

I closed my eyes tightly. I didn't dare open it, I held my breath and didn't look at the most painful part of my memory.

I tried to breathe in the cold winter wind, and I listened to the tricycle running over the flush road from that place, and I pressed my chest and said silently:

"It's all over, it's all over, Liu Zijun, it's all over..."

Finally the tricycle finally stopped on the side of the road as I described. I insisted on giving my aunt 100 yuan. My aunt told me a few words and drove away.

I dragged my luggage, carried the fire paper and firecrackers I bought, and stopped at a pond not far from the wheat field where my grandmother's grave was located.

It's the New Year, and every house in the countryside is lit with cooking smoke, and dogs bark in bursts.

However, there are no pedestrians on the road.

I knelt on the grass along the edge of the pond near my grandmother's grave, ready to print fire money on my grandmother's fire paper.

This is a rural custom, before burning paper, the fire paper should be branded with coins.

When I was very young, I saw adults give paper money to deceased elders.

At that time, there was also a kind of printed wooden board that was specially used to stamp coins, and when you beat it side by side on the fire paper, you could make rows of coin marks.

When I grew up, I would make paper money by flattening the paper renminbi on the fire paper, and then beating it with my fist and moving it side by side, so that the coin would be imprinted on the straw paper in the beating.

That day, the cold wind was howling wantonly, and I was afraid that the wind would blow the fire paper away, so I wanted to find a better haven.

The shore of the pond is wide, about a meter wide, and the grass on the shore has all withered and yellowed, as if it had put on a yellow smock for the earth.

The water in the pond had long since dried up, and the mud was dry and cracked, like the bark of an old tree, with deep black crevices and cracked web-like veins.

The pond is shore on all sides and is a good haven.

I lay down my suitcase on the edge of the pond, carried the thick stack of yellow paper I had bought, carefully descended into the pond, took out a hundred-dollar bill from my coat pocket, and knelt down.

Kneeling in the corner by the pond, I took out a stack of straw paper and spread it out, as I had seen adults make money when I was a child.

I flattened the hundred-dollar bill from the left, starting from the left, and slapped it down with my palm.

After tapping the layout of this note, pan it to the right and continue to tap the second piece.

Panning and patting, I was very serious.

I thrashed and said to myself:

"Grandma, Junjun will be here soon, you wait a little longer. Junjun has come back to visit you, you can wait for me again. Grandma, Junjun is helping you print money and spend, grandma, have you missed me in heaven for two years? ”

"Grandma, Junjun misses you very much, last year's Spring Festival, Junjun also wanted to come back to see you and send you money to heaven to spend, but at this time last year, I didn't have the money to come back. I was once cheated, and my entire net worth was only a few dozen yuan for food. At that time, there was a kind man who lent me more than 2,000, but I was reluctant to spend it, and I didn't dare to spend it. It's a pile of psychological comfort, and if I spend it all at once, there will be no hope for the future. ”

"But grandma, now Junjun is rich. Junjun is working hard and hard in school as before, and your Junjun is very smart, studying hard, and attending classes. Junjun has always been number one, and there are many benefits to being number one in college. There are various scholarships available at the school, did you know that there is a national scholarship? How much is that? Grandma, that's 8,000 yuan. Junjun is very competitive, Junjun has earned a lot of money in the past two years of school, how much is it? More than 18,000 pieces. Grandma, you don't have to worry about your future tuition and living expenses. You don't have to beg that mom anymore, and you don't have to beg that dad. Grandma, you are in heaven, don't worry that Junjun will have no money to pay tuition, let alone worry that Junjun will starve, Junjun will be fine in the future, and will get better and better..."