Yes, I need the red, blazing red light in front of me, and I need it to give me a steady stream of new life and hope.

"Hua Ming, how to spend my life, I have also considered it before. When I was in high school, I just wanted to go to Tsinghua University, so that I could leave my unhappy hometown and look forward to living a better life in the future. When I came to Luoyang, I still thought that I would take a detour to Tsinghua University to go to graduate school, or to escape some cruel reality and dream of living a better life in the future. Now that I think about it, the words "I can live a better life in the future" are a bit illusory. It doesn't have a vivid form, it's too far away, it's full of uncertainty, and it's easy to lose momentum. ”

I stretched out my five fingers, in front of my eyes, on my forehead, so that the light penetrated between my fingers, and the white flesh between my fingers seemed to be penetrated by red light, and the crystal red was shining:

"Look, even a beam of light in front of me is much more realistic than that, at least, a beam of light can make me really feel a moment of warmth, can light up my way of life for a moment, can keep some of my steps from falling into darkness, so that I can go on. How do you spend this life? Will you be able to live a better life in the future? No, this answer is not good at all, I finally figured it out today - in fact, I just hope that one day, I can live boldly and truly in the sun without carrying the past. ”

In the last sentence, I said it in fits and starts, much like I deliberately lengthened the sentence so that he could follow up and ask, for example, me: What kind of past are you carrying?

I am mentally prepared, if he asks, I will chisel open the quagmire buried deep in the past under the red sun of Zhanlutai.

However, that day, he did not ask.

After listening to my words, he suddenly hugged me tightly, and he said, "Liu Zijun, do you know? You're actually pretty brave already."

I was a little disappointed, "Why do you feel that?" Why don't you ask me what the past I am carrying? ”

He shook his head, snatched the shot, and forked the way, he said: "Zijun, if you weren't happy in the past, don't think about it, I don't know if I can be lucky to be your light?" ”

I looked at him.

I'm conflicted, and I don't know if I should be glad at that moment or if I should continue to be honest.

He continued: "I just want to tell you: at any time, don't despair, don't give up, live bravely; Don't wait for the day when we get old, we will look back, all regrets and regrets... Liu Zijun, do you want to ask me if I have any regrets in the past? ”

Through the whites of his blue eyes, I suddenly chose to accommodate his problem.

I smiled and said: "Fu Huaming, what do you have to regret, you are the son of the Fu family's generation, a young talent in the entire hotel and tourism industry, handsome, you are so successful now..."

The whites of his eyes suddenly deepened, and he looked at me: "Liu Zijun, I regretted it, and it took me a few years to escape that regret... You should remember the letter I handed you when I was in junior high school..."

I held my breath and my heartbeat suddenly missed a few beats.

As if he noticed that my eyes were not quite right, he quickened his tone and said, "Actually, I regret it... Don't, don't get me wrong, I don't regret liking you back then, what I regret is that I didn't say goodbye. I didn't say goodbye to you, I didn't tell you where I went, and I didn't have any contact with you. In fact, until you reappeared, I thought: time has passed, and the strange things that you and I used to understand will probably never be recovered. It's good that I don't see it, but after seeing it, I find that I can't help myself. In my spare time, I was wondering, Liu Zijun, is she not eating well again, and is it time to change the shoes on her feet? That day, I went to the campus of your university to see how you were doing. I saw that you were preoccupied, I secretly followed you, saw you secretly sitting carefully in the corridor of the family building, keeping watch with your ears pricked up, and when I heard the footsteps, I immediately peeped through the crack in the door, and then I buried my head in the dim aisle light and began to record... At that time, looking at that figure, I suddenly thought, I can't let myself regret it anymore, and I can't let you face it alone..."

I was able to come back to my senses, and my heart, which had been churning, suddenly fell silent.

Like the Sanskrit sound transmitted by the gods from the sky with the wind, I suddenly felt a little ethereal in my heart, and I didn't have time to savor his previous words, and the love words behind came.

I was quiet for a long time, like someone suddenly stuffed a candy into my bitter mouth.

Ignoring the questions about the first half, I pretended to be calm and asked him, "Don't leave me alone?" So, Huang Liqiang's letter was really mailed by you, right? ”

He nodded, "Yes, it's me." ”

I looked at him, "So, that string of numbers, it's yours too, right?"

He was a little apologetic and said softly, "Well, it's me."

I was a little embarrassed, quite like settling accounts after the autumn, and asked him: "Then, Fu Huaming, at that time, I called you back, why didn't you answer my phone?" ”

He shook his head, and it took a long time before he slowly exhaled, "That number is temporary, and there are some things that I can't talk to you about at the moment." You see, this time I came to Taishan, and I specially left our mobile phones in Molybdenum International. ”

I was a little surprised, and unconsciously pulled his arm harder, and wondered, "Why?" Do you have any difficulties, can you tell me about them? ”

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it will be fine soon, there will be another year and 2 months, and when the 60th anniversary of the motherland is over, everything will be over... Moreover, after sending you that text message, I also intentionally wanted to see what Hua Zheng would do. ”

"Hua Zheng, you asked Hua Zheng to help me? Aren't you afraid that I will like him because I am grateful to him? ”

He hugged my shoulder and said with a smile: "I said, Liu Zijun, I know you far more than you know yourself." From the first day of reunion, the moment you looked at me in the ward, you were in front of my eyes, and your mind had already been seen through. ”

I blushed. Actually, when I saw him that time, I didn't know what I was thinking...

I was ashamed and said: "Oh, people who go to society are different, Hua Ming, I used to think that you were so dazzling and dazzling, unattainable, but I found that you are really powerful, whether it is kissing or coaxing girls... Hua Ming, have I already lost everything? You see, my mobile phone was detained by you in the Luoyang Hotel, Hua Zheng can't contact me, I must be in a hurry, but I'm not worried at all, but my eyes are full of wanting to be with you..."

He kissed me on the forehead and continued, "Zijun, we are tied. Actually, I'm naturally not worried about you; I don't have much confidence in Hua Zheng. Hua Zheng can actually take on some things, but he never cares, thinking that with his grandfather, uncle, father and me in the front, he just pretends to be stupid in the back. Also, you don't actually know Hua Zheng, he is a more persistent person than me in his bones. ”