He was slightly stunned halfway, and then smiled in surprise and waved his hand:

"Senior Sister Zijun, I don't mean anything else, don't get me wrong, I just looked at you when I picked up the car, I looked like you were crying, you are far away, I'm afraid you feel helpless, as a welcome senior, we can help you quickly integrate into the university and eliminate that discomfort as soon as possible."

Service in the end?

Unbelief.

Suffering has sharpened me into the most sensitive, neurotic girl in the world.

I'm afraid.

I was afraid that I would speak too loudly, for fear that strangers would turn their heads to look at me when they heard it.

When I walk, I will bow my head hard, afraid that the developed ** shape will not be stopped by the loose old bra, and will be seen as frivolous by others.

I'm afraid of all the gaze from the opposite sex, even if it's just pure appreciation.

I am afraid that I will not be able to suppress the fear and powerlessness in my heart at the age of forgetting the pain and striving for it.

I was afraid that the undeveloped hormones would evoke the darkest and darkest past in my heart, and that I would be reminded of something precious that I could not give.

He listened to my mother's words and saw that my clothes and fabrics were not new, so he had such a natural compassion.

I'm doing a ridiculous thing: because of my own sensitivity, my own insensitivity enough, to naively judge this kindness. I remember, I suddenly looked up at him and smiled brightly, and said briskly:

"I received it, Senior Hua Zheng, thank you for your kindness, I made an appointment to do it with the dormitory sisters tomorrow, and now it's less than 1 hour before the evening election, I have to go back to the dormitory to get a pen and notebook, and I have to eat something, let's have a chance to talk about it in the future."

"Haha, I'm relieved to see you laughing! Another day, when you have time, I will promote our water banquet in Luoyang to you, the water banquet is a special banquet in Luoyang, and it will not be promoted today, you go to eat. ”

That day, I ran to buy steamed buns and went back to the dormitory, hastily packed up the paper and pen, and finally gathered with my roommates, but finally, the moment before leaving the dormitory, a pain hit my lower abdomen.

"Miserable". My face turned pale.

It is said that my face was whiter than paper at that time, and I asked Tiantian and them to help me ask the counselor for a leave, saying that I had just drunk ice water and my stomach was uncomfortable, and I needed to lie down for a while, and I regretted that I could not participate in this election.

Thinking about what was going to happen next, I was wrapped in fear.

Menstruation is the second most painful moment for me, and it can hurt me to death every time.

When it hurts to the extreme, I can't help but think cranky.

Is it because of the 13-year-old thing? Was it because I was frozen by heavy snow when I was a child? Or does it have something to do with the order of bathing when you were young?

When I was a child, my grandmother and I depended on each other, and water for cooking, bathing, and other domestic life was always a big problem.

Grandma's house has a water tank, very big, a water storage can be used for 10 days, we will go to my aunt's house every 10 days to borrow a bucket, all over the village to find a pressurized well, one old and one young, bucket after bucket full to carry back, finally we take turns stepping on the stool, trying to put the bucket on the edge of the tank, happily watching the water pour in, until almost overflowing the edge.

At that time, the pressurized water wells of every household in my grandmother's village seemed to be very precious, and either the owner was leashed to a dog next to the well, or the water source was not released, or the owner's family pulled out the embolism.

Every time, my grandmother and I used water sparingly.

The water we wash the vegetables is stored in a basin and in a bottle we pick up, waiting for the next time we wash the pots and dishes.

The water used to wash the rice is left in the washbasin and is waiting for the next time you wash your face and wash your hands.

Sometimes, we can use the bottom of the tank to give birth to all kinds of water bugs.

Whenever the water was about to bottom out, before refilling, my grandmother and I would try our best to tilt the water tank and brush out the remaining water at the bottom of the tank with a loofah.

Whenever I look at the water bugs that are wriggling out of the brush, I think that obviously, many of these little bugs must have entered my grandmother's stomach and me.

Sometimes I even wonder: will I have a lot of bugs in my stomach?

The deepest memory is the hot summer, every night after drinking the noodle juice, on the bottom of the pot of firewood ash residual temperature, we will stuff a pot of water in the pot, just half a washbasin of water, after the pot and then mixed with some cold water, not too cold, my grandmother and I sat on both sides of the washbasin with warm water and a towel to start "wiping sweat".

We start by washing our face, then our neck, our upper body, our legs, and our feet.

In the end, I will take the water that has washed my feet, which is very dark and thick, to wash my buttocks and private. Place.

When I was young, my grandmother and my old grandmother didn't have any doubts or worries, I didn't understand anything at that time, and my grandmother said that it was like that, and I didn't know about menstruation and menstruation until I was 13 years old.

Later, I gradually realized that the order of bathing was wrong.

That night, the night of my freshman year, I was alone reminiscing about my past with my grandmother, breathing in the residual smell of paint in the college dormitory, lying there, exerting all my strength, my cold left hand kept breathing, and when it was hot, I rubbed and pressed my lower abdomen, and my right hand clutched a coin until the newly laid bedding under me was wet with cold sweat.

I remember that before the lights went out that night, I listened to Tiantian and Shuanghua chatting in a hazy way.

Their chats seemed to revolve around the campaign that night.

I dimly heard Tian Tian say:

"The senior who is looking for Zijun is so handsome, he is really patient, he actually accompanied him throughout the whole process, and listened to the speeches of everyone in our class! It's so exciting to have him here! I'm also on stage, what I said is not bad, just the two of us, he should see me, so excited! ”