The recent events triggered Xinrou's sensitive nerves, she didn't like this kind of life, and even suspected that there was no life she wanted in this world, but she never mentioned it to anyone.

The enthusiasm she had just entered into college life gradually lost its heat in the cold environment of her heart......

In just a few months, her longing for the future life completely changed, and she kept thinking about what she wanted, but she never came to a conclusion.

Looking at the other people in the dormitory, who had been happy for a long time because they had a new brand-name bag, she was tempted, not because she wanted a brand-name bag, but because she wanted to be happy for a long time.

She began to gradually realize that the happiness she wanted was fading, she wanted to pursue happiness, but she didn't know where the happiness was, she was lost in the process, at the moment she was extremely envious of other people's lives, maybe the happy life of others is what she wants.......

She was really conflicted during this time.

The family called again, and needed more money, this time it wasn't my father, it was my mother.

"Hey" Xinrou was very afraid of receiving a call from home, as if there was a heavy pressure on herself, but when the call came, she couldn't help answering, so what was the use of hesitating for two or three seconds.

"Xiaorou, actually, I don't want to make this call. But your father asked me to call you, and I know that you must be very stressed to live over there, but no one can do it at home except you, and you are now the hope of each of us."

Enough of this kind of talk has been heard, just because leaving that small place has become their hope, but they have never asked themselves how their lives are like here, nor have they asked the environment here and the people here, what do they care about?

If it happened when they were nine years old, then they would not hesitate to stand with them, because at that time that sense of trust was spontaneous, but now it is different, no one has experienced the sadness of not being firmly chosen, and no one has ever asked what happened that night, as if this incident was erased from their memory, but it is clean.

"I see," she always replied habitually, pale and weak.

"Xiaorou, when is the holiday, go home" But before her mother's words fell, she heard her father's voice from her mobile phone, "What are you doing when you come back from vacation?" There are many opportunities in the big city, and you are still in a hurry to use the money, she is coming back, and the whole family is going to drink the northwest wind? ”

Xinrou was silent for a long time......

"The child is still listening here, you will break the child's heart if you say something like this."

"What about that heard? Didn't she grow up in our family from childhood to adulthood, we never owed her, and now that the family needs so much money, shouldn't she contribute to us?"

Such words are true, but when a child hears such words from his father's mouth, he feels very chilled inexplicably, it's not that she is ignorant, she also wants to pay a little more for this family, but when she asks the hard-earned money to send it to the family, it is always this attitude in exchange......

Doing one's best for the family is not like a voluntary one, but rather a responsibility that should be assumed, a responsibility that there is no way to shirk.

Xinrou is a child, but she is too mature compared to her peers, and sometimes she really wants to ask why her father left so firmly at the age of nine, and never looked for himself in those three days, how did he spend those three days, did he have no waves in his heart, or didn't care at all?

"Xiaorou, don't blame your father for speaking too badly, I'm too old to control it, now all the hopes in our family can only be pinned on you alone, other than that, we have no way, you don't want our family to be decadent, right?"

How should a child answer such a question?

She is not a ruthless person or a ruthless person, otherwise she should have left that home in a fit of anger at the age of nine, instead of choosing to go back.

"I see," she always said.

"Alright, hang up the phone, let's not waste any more phone bills" came the father's voice, and after a few seconds, the phone was hung up.

Because of the distance, even the time for phone calls has been shortened, and perhaps the most common thing to say in this concise telephone communication is the hope of the whole family, and who is the hope of Xinrou? She couldn't see the light in front of her, it was pitch black, lonely and helpless.

She had thought countless times that if she hadn't made that decision at the time, would her life have been different now?

This is the secret she hides deep in her heart, in the eyes of others, she is a very independent and strong girl, never have something to trouble others, but only she knows best, she is not strong, but if she falls, there is no one behind her, only one can do is to live hard in this world, constantly looking for the life you want......

After this phone call, Xinrou needs to work hard to work part-time to be able to afford the heavy pressure on her shoulders, if she doesn't do this, I'm afraid she won't even be able to go to college, only if she continues to study in this university, can she stay in the city, otherwise she will really not change anything when she returns to that small village......

In the countryside, Xinrou's mother is bedridden.

The father was cleaning up the broken wood in the yard, only to hear the neighbor next door ask loudly: "The daughter of the village chief's family has a house and a car in the big city, and her life is very moist, and today she drove back to see the village chief. ”

Hearing these words, he was silent for a few seconds, and there were some things that he would never throw into.

"My daughter is also very powerful in the big city now, and she always sends money home every month, and I say I don't want it, but she is still filial, and she can't persuade her" It is obvious that he lied, for the sake of his face.

"Really? So powerful? Then let her come back one day and let everyone see, this child is something I've seen since I was a child, I didn't expect it to be so promising, but it's really giving you a long face for the army, you just find a place to steal the fun."

"That's not it, I'll let her come back after a while, but I've been busy lately, I can't spare time, she always wants to come back, but we haven't let her"

"I really want to meet the people who come back from the big city, to see what is different from us, Xiaorou, this child has been well-behaved since he was a child, and he believes that he must have great achievements, so don't forget about us when the time comes."

"What is this saying, if there is something Xiao Rou will definitely help solve, it would be a matter of saying such a thing."

"That's the best, alas, how nice it would be if I had such a good child."

He sorted out the broken wood in the yard and put it in a corner, with a fake smile on his face, but his heart was gray. When I walked into the house, the pretended smile disappeared immediately.

He took out a few dishes and chopsticks from the side, and the light meal was displayed in front of him, in order to cure the disease, he had not eaten meat for a long time, and sometimes he really wanted to buy a piece of meat ruthlessly, and finally he had to give up this idea.

Thinking of what the neighbor said just now, I was inexplicably holding back a breath in my heart, I have been in this village for so many years, but I can't be looked down upon by everyone, especially the village chief's daughter came back to show off, and she was so angry to watch.

"I heard that the village chief's daughter is very popular in the big city, and today I drove several cars back to see the village chief, why do we all go to the big city, but our daughter is not angry, she has already gone to the big city, and she actually let the family eat these light meals, and there is no meat at all"

His words were very cold, especially when he saw that the food on the plate was not a little fishy, and he became more and more angry, but when he called his daughter in the morning, the anger in his heart could not be calmed.

"Are you talking big to people again? I'll tell you what you say yourself, don't put your own promises on others" Mother has always known him very well, what he cares about most is face, you can lose anything in front of everyone, but you can't lose face, and a lot of irreparable things have happened for this.

"I don't want to lose face in front of him, I will call him in a few days, I must send more money over, we have to eat something good at home, let the neighbors see that my daughter is also a very promising person in the big city, and they will chew their tongues behind their backs"

She didn't dare to say anything, he drank too much a few times and started beating people, it was nothing more than that he still had expectations for him emotionally, and he could only carefully maintain this fragile relationship.

To be honest, he didn't dare to divorce, what he cared about most was the face on his face, if he was really divorced, he would definitely not be able to stand the discussion of the neighbors around him.

"She's still in school, why don't she get so much money, it's almost enough"

"You're starting to protect her again at this time, do you really want to stay in bed for the rest of your life? Even if you want to lie in bed, I don't want you to be unable to get off the ground for the rest of your life, I really want to be tired to death."

"You talk like that all the time, and if you make your daughter sad, you won't get anything"

"This is what she should do, I don't believe that she can ruthlessly let you lie in bed for the rest of her life, we raised her from childhood to adulthood just to drink the northwest wind in the future?"

"Say whatever you want, I don't want to talk to you more"

She lay on the bed and rolled over and turned her back on him.

"If you don't eat, I eat, I don't believe she can really watch you lying on the bed, if that's the case, even if I buy the most expensive ticket, I'll go and give her some color."

She didn't speak, he wasn't so irritable when she married him, the more time passed, the more he changed, sometimes I regretted marrying him, but regret was useless, I was old, and there was no need to divorce, otherwise it would be really unbearable for people to talk nonsense behind their backs.

He deliberately placed the bowl on the table after eating and made a noise, which she knew was for her, but she just deliberately pretended not to hear it.

Xinrou could imagine what her family was like now, but the clearer she was, the more uncomfortable she became.

Some nights are so tormented that I can't sleep and I can't stop worrying...... m