Since others can't be trusted, it's better to rely on yourself.

After all, there are too many unknown factors and unknown conditions in this world, and who will be the one who will never change.

Maybe if you think about it, you can't even do it yourself!

Xinrou envied the malt who was distressed by this matter, and compared to her own incident, it was simply not worth mentioning.

During this time, she rarely spoke in the dormitory, often in a daze, and she had a lot of pressure about the uncertainty of tomorrow.

She knew that she should be stronger at such moments, but she was not able to do it, she wanted to be like them, and she was distressed by love things, but what troubled her was the trivial things of life.

Obviously they are all of the same age, but there is such a big gap, why are they born unequal.

Perhaps if there are choices in life, it is estimated that there are very few people who choose their own path.

Xinrou has also become much less in contact with malt during this time, her troubles may not be something they can understand, she also wants to admit her vulnerability in front of outsiders like everyone else, but she knows best that the nature of these things is not the same.

It is precisely because there is no big difference between what you say and what you don't say, so it's good to keep some things in your heart.

She is most afraid of others communicating with her and asking, "Why are you so introverted?" "Why don't you like to talk?" "Why do you always like to think about things in your heart?" "Are you a very thoughtful person?" "Are you starting to think badly of me again?"

She has experienced these things before, even if some people casually ask a word that doesn't have much to do with this, they will think of those things as before, to put it bluntly, she can't let go of the previous things, and people who always stay in the past have no way to have a new life.

When others ask about the so-called little experience, they will think of the countless unpleasantness that happened before, this step is due to mental sensitivity, but the darkness of living during that time has been experienced so much that when they hear those words, they will have a certain conditioned reflex.

If you can do everything you need to do like your peers, and you don't have to take on much responsibility, then how happy you should be, even if you only feel happy like ordinary people.

Xinrou has a small dream, that is, to be able to become an ordinary person like everyone else, at least not to be a miserable ordinary person.

But it would be great if someone could really help make the wish come true, but no, and neither can that brother.

I don't know how the brother is doing during this time, after all, people with the same experience have a strong sense of detachment in their hearts, and sometimes they imagine things too complicated and difficult, which increases the degree of accomplishability of things.

She had set very few goals at the beginning of the university, and in the end she was overwhelmed by the heavy burden.

When everyone in the dormitory was playing, she was the only one lying on the bed watching in a daze, but she could think of her brother's words in her mind, a good life is created by herself, and if you blindly immerse yourself in the past, there is no new life.

What is life like, will it change a lot from the past, the countdown to the end of the semester will start soon, she is not willing to live under this kind of pressure, not only to find a job that can bring financial resources to the family, but also to take care of her studies, how can she have both?

The thing that scared her the most was that after the countdown to the end of the school semester, she had to finish all her classes, and then she was going home, and he didn't want to go back, so he finally escaped from there, and after a few months, he had no way to face the father who didn't make a firm choice for himself at the age of nine.....

She had fantasized countless times, maybe if she had been firmly chosen at that time, there would not have been such a thing as now.

She is a very independent person, to be precise, she is a person who is forced to be independent.

Because there is no one behind her who can rely on, she can do it, just groping forward alone, although there are countless dark nights ahead, endless fear and countless panic, but there is no other way, this is the only way she can do to preserve her dignity......

Finally received a job with a high salary, but with a certain amount of danger, she became hesitant and scared, but this job was the only job she could do, and other than that, no company chose her, she had to get this job, otherwise the sense of morality tied to her body would completely swallow her ......

People often only like to look at the surface of the situation, but no one is willing to calm down and observe the essence of things, for example, when a parent and a child have a dispute, most people will think that the child is an ignorant and rebellious person, but who would have thought that the child had been nine years old when the memory has completely hurt her entire childhood, people say that a happy childhood can cure a lifetime of unhappiness, but an unhappy childhood has to use a lifetime of happiness to heal childhood.

"Hello, when can I come over and join the company?" There was a very serious voice on the other side of the phone, serious and panicked.

Xinrou has no other way, even if this job is not suitable for her, even if this job is very difficult for her, but other than that, she can no longer accept her job.

"Hello, tomorrow will be," Xinrou said.

This job is so important to her, and if she devotes herself to it, perhaps the heavy sense of moral responsibility she carries will be reduced......

"Then tomorrow at ten o'clock in the morning, you will come to work in the store" The voice was still unusually cold, like the words of a robot without any emotion.

Xinrou was a little afraid of such indifferent words, the cold tone made people feel nothing, she couldn't feel the slightest warmth from others, and even the essential conversation had a cold breath.

After hanging up the phone, Xinrou sat in a daze for a long time, there was nothing on the empty wall, the road ahead was so difficult, didn't she say that God would give everyone the same opportunity? Or is it just talking.

Perhaps! She couldn't care too much about this, because she didn't get this privilege from the beginning, she knew that she was relatively mature compared to her peers, but others didn't know that mature people were envious of these carefree and naïve people.

If life can go according to the rules and do some work that does not cause people to panic, maybe it is also a very desirable job for her.

The biggest challenge of this job for her is strength, which is a manual job, and it has a new, and somewhat lofty sounding name, compared to moving bricks: transport personnel.

She found a courier company, but they were all large express shipments, and at first the company did not intend to accept her, after all, she was a girl, but she did not ask for a high salary, she planned to do more than others, and she would get more.

Maybe that's the only way to get a job, but she didn't tell anyone about it, because it sounded so humiliating, and no one likes to share life experiences with people who are disgraced, and she understands that.

If there is a choice in life, maybe she won't be like this, if she doesn't do this, then she has no choice, she is burdened with morality offline, maybe she will go out to sell blood, this is her only value, for that cold family.

Soon, there was a call from home, and your tone and tone hadn't changed much, and maybe nothing could have changed, for a person who had become numb.

"Why haven't you called yet? Your mother's illness is no longer able to get out of bed, and now she can rely on me alone, I work in the fields with the village chief every day, don't you know how hard it is? You see how good the village chief's daughter is, thinking about you, I really don't know how to mention it sometimes..."

On the other side of the phone, her father said something very blameful, but this was a kind of daily routine for her, and if he didn't talk like that one day, she would still be a little unacceptable.

"I'll call you in a few days" Xinrou is a little helpless about this kind of life, but there is no way to get out of it, maybe in the eyes of others, she is not a filial child, because no one wants to enter the heart of a nine-year-old child.

Instead, people are willing to think, "What can a nine-year-old child understand?" "The child's temper will be fine after a while, there is no need to coax at all" "Let her stay by herself for a while, and the child's temper is habitual"

She used to be a little princess in their eyes, when did it start to change, she couldn't figure it out, if it wasn't for all these problems, maybe she wouldn't be so lost, sometimes she still thinks, if she hadn't gone out to set up a stall at that time, she wouldn't have met those people, and the next thing would not have happened, but what? Is it just because of one reason that day....

Xinrou smiled bitterly, what can a nine-year-old know about, yes, can't she feel love? Doesn't she have eyes? Can't she tell which one is the family?

She understands everything, but she doesn't want to share it with others, she often likes to sit alone in a daze, and the most common thing the neighbor says is: "Your child is so quiet!" Of course, this is not a good adjective, you can hear it from the tone alone, and at this time, the biggest answer that the family often makes is: "She is like that, she can sit alone for a day without talking"

She's like that? What does it look like? Are many things defined since childhood? She was sad and sad about it, but it was all meaningless, no one would listen to and care about the thoughts of a nine-year-old, and it would often be ridiculous to a greater or lesser extent.

When I was young, I didn't receive much care, I didn't get more love, but now I am so demanding, tying the young heart of a child who has been hurt with morality and emotion, what is the difference between this and robbers......

Xinrou looked at the wall again in a daze, and her heart was very panicked when she thought of the future.

"Xinrou, let's go to breakfast tomorrow!" Malt enthusiastically climbed onto her bed and said.

"Don't eat" She hasn't eaten breakfast for several days, and in order to be in a hurry, even the time for breakfast has been planned.

"Go, I see you haven't eaten breakfast for a long time, and you can't do it if you continue like this" Malt gently pulled her hand, but it felt extremely rough.

Xinrou immediately withdrew her hand, and after a few days, the calluses came out, and her hands, which were originally a little immature, did not look like before......