Mom didn't want to eat, every time she was like this, and when she quarreled, she would not eat much for a day or two. I didn't have much appetite either, so I went back to my room to rest.

The house suddenly seemed extraordinarily empty, and the wind whistling outside seemed to blow the building away. I know that this home is crumbling, and it should be so empty in the future, there is no quarrel but there is no vitality and no vitality.

The night was even more cold, and he covered his head with a quilt, and the whole person shrank in the quilt.

Mu Liang still sends text messages every night, and today is no exception.

"Slept? Apologies again for the recklessness. But looking at you today, you're a lot thinner than before. ”

Mu Liang thought I was still angry, but in fact, he didn't know, at this time, not only was I not angry, but I longed for someone to listen to me, but I couldn't share this with him, everything had to be faced by myself.

"I'll send you a joke, one day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming to use 'Great Wall' to form a sentence, Xiao Ming said that the Great Wall is very long, and the teacher said no! Make another one! Xiao Ming replied angrily, why, I am not Qin Shi Huang! ”

Then he sent a few more days of joke text messages.

These jokes, which are not funny, have slowly warmed my mood at the moment.

replied to him: "Thank you, you came back so early, will the school let you live?" ”

"The same scholars in Nancheng can live, and it is also beneficial to come back early, and the tickets are much easier to buy." He replied with ease, and I could see his shy smile.

"Well, it's late, go to bed." I replied.

"Okay, good night, 8023"

I glanced at my phone and fell asleep to his goodnight message.

The next morning, I woke up very early, in fact, the results came out yesterday, I didn't click on the query, today the newspaper will publish the news of the civil service examination results, my mother will also see it, I can't hide it. I'm very nervous, although I tried my best, in fact, I personally feel that there is still no hope, and it is difficult to reach the things that I am not good at. It's not so much that I'm nervous about not being able to pass the exam, it's better to say that I'm nervous and afraid of my mother's scolding if I can't pass the exam. I was so nervous that I clicked on the report card with trembling hands, and sure enough, I didn't pass the test, and I was two points behind.

I breathed a sigh of relief, although even if I passed the written test and the interview, it was easy to be brushed off, but as long as I didn't do something I didn't like in an industry that I was not good at, I would be more comfortable. At the same time, thinking about the mother I have to face today, I began to feel at ease.

At breakfast, my mother spoke: "Have the results come out?" ”

"Well, two points short." I didn't dare look her in the eyes, staring down at my bowl and pulling the porridge, I knew the storm was coming.

"Humph! I knew I couldn't count on you! The sound of my mother gritting her teeth could be heard clearly, and when she dropped her chopsticks, the porridge splashed on my face.

I didn't say anything, took a piece of paper and wiped my face.

"I raised you such a white-eyed wolf for nothing! Are you looking for a job in Rongcheng?! "Mom is like a firecracker that has been lit again.

"No, I'm going back to work in Nancheng, and it's good to find a job as a teacher."

"Humph! I don't think you're going to be able to do anything at all! There is no compilation! There is no iron rice bowl! When people ask, it's a shame for me to say it! I've been doing this for so many years, and I haven't achieved anything at all! Mom started yelling.

"What is there that is not established now, and it will have to be reformed in the future, what can I do if I can't pass the exam?" I turned my lips.

"Can't pass the test?! If you can't pass the test, you can continue to take the test for me! Until you get in! What a shame you live like this! I walked out without face! ”

Mom always cares about her face and maintains her image on the outside. But I don't understand, isn't it a shameless thing to keep making noise at home? Could it be that dressing professionally, speaking of such and such an office, is something worth showing off?

"I'm going to support myself after I graduate, what's there to be ashamed of? Only when you have an organization can you live? Do I have to die if I don't get in? "I really don't understand my mother's brain circuitry, and in her eyes, her face is above all else.

"I don't care about anything else! I'm telling you it's not over! I'm going to die to be embarrassed, are you going to quarrel with me! Your surnames are not good! I'm compatible with everyone! Who doesn't say I'm good! It doesn't match your surname! "I tell you, if you don't pass the exam, you will climb down from this balcony for me, and die!" I'm all for your good! You don't know what to do! Have a virtue with your dad! ”

The more I listened, the more aggrieved I felt, stirring the porridge in the bowl, tears dripping into the bowl in large drops, and there was no taste in my mouth. The porridge was stirred and the rice settled to the bottom of the bowl, and it was cold and cold.

"If you eat it without skin and face, if I feel ashamed. Can you walk around like nobody? If you haven't found a decent job after graduation, get out of here! Or die! "Mom seems to be like an ultimatum from the emperor.

I don't understand why I should live for the sake of face, for the so-called compilation, for the sake of the nice words that come out of other people's mouths.

She said that everyone said that she was good, that she was a kind person, and that she had worked hard to bring up her daughter. Indeed, every time she is outside, she is smiling, she will help the old man carry food home, and whoever asks her to help will go. But I've always felt that kindness should be more than that. Ever since I was a child, my mother was a person who would come back to me when someone else said something, and the same was true with my father.

I didn't start school, and I was at home during the holidays, and I had nowhere to hide, so I could only listen to my mother's scolding every once in a while. When you can't help but be angry, open the social software mood message and give yourself encouragement: people should be kind, insist on doing their best, and not be affected by anything. Then change the mood to be visible only to yourself.

Mu Liang still talks about what he did, where he went, and what fun and funny things he shared every day. Sometimes when I sobbed alone, I would be glad that he was there, glad that someone would think about me, but I was conflicted, I knew what I was facing in the future: an unhappy family of origin, a mother with a strange and sensitive personality. With her vision and requirements, it is difficult for anyone to satisfy her, I must not fall in love is the best choice, otherwise it is nothing more than Dora falling into this bottomless pit alone, and I will not see the light of day with me, I don't want to do this.

That day, my mother came back from the afternoon and trained me until midnight because she heard that Aunt Shen and her children had found a job in an administrative position.

Mom took a sip of water and soothed the throat that had been screaming for hours.

After not stopping for two minutes, he rushed into my room again, lifted my quilt, and said, "Don't pretend to be asleep here!" If you are as faceless and skinless as your father, you don't live here, if you can't find a decent job, you won't be able to marry a powerful and good family in the future, and you will return to me all the money I raised you! ”

"Good, good! Will I be able to pay you back when I earn it? Can you take a break? "I can't stand this kind of abuse.

"Humph! You're just not productive! If I were you! It's long gone! "My mother gave me a punch before she left the room.

The fist hit me in the back, and I was still so shocked that I couldn't breathe, and when I pulled back the quilt that had been lifted, I realized that I was shivering with cold.

Put on the headphones and listen to the music shared by Mu Liang with me, but the music made me cry even more uncontrollably.

"A song in my heart...... Don't just be a passerby..... I want to ask you...... Are you tempted by me?"

Mu Liang's attitude became more and more obvious, and I became more nervous and conflicted.

Looking at the goodnight he sent again, I clicked on the type: You still don't want to be nice to me, or don't send it again, I'm not as good as you think.

But he never sent it out ruthlessly.