In the mid-to-late 80s, Gao Jiangjiang and Huang Chunmei and I were admitted to the only key high school in the city at the same time, with a total of four classes. Jin Bei is Huang Chunmei's classmate, both of them are girls with relatively good family conditions, so they naturally came together as good friends, and then, Huang Chunmei brought her good friend Jin Bei into my life.

When I first saw Huang Chunmei and Jinbei passing through my class hallway after class, I was amazed by this girl.

At that time, Jin Bei followed the voice of Huang Chunmei greeting me, glanced at me, and I happened to be looking at her, at that moment, the light cast by our two pairs of eyes went half of the way, blended and merged together in the middle, and fed back into each other's eyes with each other's light. The moment my gaze returned to my eyes with the gaze of Kimbe, they pierced my eyes to bloodshot and quickly filled my entire head, my hormones were aroused, my heart was agitated, and I felt my face hot.

Kimbe's gaze quickly looked away, but my back that had been following them all the time didn't take it back. I saw that Jinbei was wearing a light gray dress with pleats, although it was a very mature color, but there was no sense of disobedience in her, and her shoulders were slightly shrugged back, driving the slender waist to be graceful and straight. The long hair of the thin and soft shawl was loosely tied at the back of the head with a simple leather band, and the short layers that spread out hung casually around the ears with long bangs. A pair of flat black sandals looks like the center of gravity of the whole person is just right. The plain and elegant dress made her look so refined and extraordinary next to Huang Chunmei's bright red dress. Just this one look at each other made my heart start to be uncontrollable.

For a while after that time, I had to stand in the hallway every time I got out of class, pretending to take a break between classes, but in fact I longed to see Kimbe walk in front of my eyes. As I would have liked, I saw her almost once in an average of two classes, because she had to go through the hallway of my class to get out of the building, so she had to pass through my gaze. And every time I pretend to greet Huang Chunmei, my eyes are staring at Jinbei. At first, Kimbe looked at me, but as time went on, she began to avoid my eyes, and I noticed her shyness and felt what she thought of me. This made me more and more bold, so much so that I didn't want to listen to the class, I went out to see her after class, and I sat there thinking about her in class.

I found myself feeling loved. Although I know that the whole world knows that I am the aunt of Gao Jiangjiang's family, I have never had that feeling of "love" for Gao Jiangjiang since I was a child, she is like something outside my body, I have the responsibility to protect, but very deliberately. And there is an invisible force in Jinbei that pulls me, making me unable to control myself, and I want to look at her, hug her, and care for her whenever and wherever I want. Kimbe grew into my heart and mind.

My grades have fallen.

I was admitted to the key high school with the first grade in the junior high school in the mining area, and I always maintained the top three rankings in high school, and after falling in love with Jinbei in the first semester of the sophomore year, I began to take my studies seriously, and I couldn't even pretend to listen to the lectures, and I often looked forward to getting out of class in a daze, so I rushed out to meet my beloved. I was in a daze more than once when I was found by the teacher calling my name, until my ranking in the final exam fell outside the top 100 in the grade.

The college entrance examination admission rate of our school over the years has basically remained at about 50%, including undergraduates, junior colleges and technical secondary schools. There are four fresh classes in the school, plus one cram school, which is roughly 200 students, that is, people who are outside the 100-person list, conventionally speaking, the current college entrance examination is basically not connected to the university.

My grades caused a sensation in the whole school, and the principal personally inquired about it, so my homeroom teacher met with my mother, the merchant.

The result of their meeting was that my mother not only scolded me, but also scolded Jinbei in front of her classmates. Because during this time, I used to date Kimbe alone. Although Jin Bei knew my relationship with Gao Jiangjiang and always treated me like a least, she did skip class with me to sit in a park not far away on the night of self-study, and more than once. What's even more blatant is that Jinbei received a love letter from a boy in the same class, and when I learned about it, I angrily made an appointment with that boy and declared my sovereignty over Jinbei.

Years later, whenever I think back to the fight, I have to shudder and fear it once, because if I hadn't been bumped into by other classmates at that time, I would have stopped in time, and that boy would have died at my hands.

I grew up and learned the moves of my brother and my second sister fighting. At that time, I fell down and pressed him down, folded my hands together and pinched his throat fiercely, pinching him so that his face was red, his eyes rolled up, and I was red with anger, but I didn't mean to spare him. Fortunately, a classmate bumped into me and shouted, and I came to my senses and let go of my hand. If I hadn't stopped in time, there might have been one more juvenile murderer in the world. Under Huang Chunmei's unremitting publicity, these things were soon known to the classmates at school, and finally reached the ears of the teacher, and then passed on to my mother.

My mother is a very righteous person, and the reason why she scolded me and Jinbei was not entirely because of the depravity of my grades, but also because of my identity as the "aunt" of Gao Jiangjiang's family. For so many years, my family and Aunt Fan's family have agreed that Gao Jiangjiang and I are a couple, and there are no objections, and there should be no objections.

So my mom was angry and angry with Kimbe. She scolded Jinbei vixen, scolded her for being shameless, pointed and scolded, patted the windowsill of the corridor and scolded, expressing the hatred and grief that a woman should have for Gao Jiangjiang against another woman who robbed her husband. Because of my father's decency, he never gave my mother a chance to show this form, so one day, the scolding ability she had accumulated for many years was exerted to the extreme in me and Jinbei.

It wasn't until later that my homeroom teacher and principal regretted that looking for my parents might not be the best way to deal with it.

Although my mom's approach was humiliating, it worked. Kimbe transferred to another school.

She didn't tell me where she went, nor did she tell Huang Chunmei, at least that's what Huang Chunmei told me. But the school teachers must know, but that's a secret I can't find out. Because the school must re-cultivate my good seedling, I can't delay my future, delay the school's admission rate, or even lose the hope of one more person entering Tsinghua University and Peking University because of a student with about 100 students on the big list.

After Jinbei transferred to another school, I used to look for her like crazy, to her house, to the park where we used to walk together, to various ordinary high schools, and even to the school in Linshi, but I didn't find out. During the period of looking for her, I often missed school, and I ignored the punishment of the teacher and even the school, as well as my mother's beating and scolding, my father's sigh, and my aunt's accusations. The worst of the conflict escalated to my home, which forced my mom to pretend to be defeated, but secretly she was still strategically looking for an opportunity to continue playing against me. Looking back now, when I look at myself at that time, it can never be regarded as the torrent of courage I thought I was at that time, but can only be attributed to the rebellion of adolescence, but I postponed the battle between adolescence and rebellion until the beginning of the third year of high school.

The list of the second semester of the second semester of high school was released, and Gao Jiangjiang ranked fifth in the liberal arts of the whole school, which was the worst ranking I had ever had. Now, my name, Song Dongqiang, ranks 87th in science. Originally, a ranking like eighty-seven could not cause waves in my heart, after all, I had already squeezed out the matter of learning after Jinbei entered my heart, and I had no regrets. But Gao Jiangjiang's fifth-place position really stabbed me, because her best score in history was sixty-one in the whole school. I don't know what kind of psychological journey Gao Jiangjiang went through during this period, which allowed her to do such a thing to break out of the cocoon and rush her results to this high point. Years later, when I witnessed the extraordinary human effort she showed in her work, I understood the inevitability of her being able to achieve this result during this period.

Before going home during the summer vacation, I quietly helped Gao Jiangjiang pack her luggage and asked her to wait for my Aunt Fan to find a car from the unit to pull her home. Although I deliberately distanced myself from Gao Jiangjiang after getting along with Jinbei, I still helped her in life, and she silently accepted my help. I still felt guilty about this kind of estrangement at first, but after a long time, it slowly faded, so that I once reflected on my feelings for Gao Jiangjiang, and I found that it was just the sense of interdependence created by the inseparability that we grew up together, and the sense of responsibility that I should bear after being given a second life by Aunt Fan. There is never love between us, there is only pure family affection. In my later life, I found that Gao Jiangjiang also has such empathy, and we are all people who put responsibility first.

When I was about to walk out after helping Gao Jiangjiang with her luggage, she said to me lightly, "Help me get your dormitory on the first floor, my mother is here and pulls it back with you." "All along, Aunt Fan came to pull my luggage, and she brought mine back with her. But this time, although I have never compromised on the matter of Jinbei, I also know that I am at a loss, so I didn't want to use Aunt Fan, and planned to take the bus back by myself.

Since the family learned about me and Jinbei, although my Aunt Fan did not scold me like my mother, she also made a clear criticism of me, she believes that my behavior, (she called me and Jinbei's matter) is obviously treacherous, is a departure from the moral standards of a person who believes in his word, and I must self-reflect. I have never refuted or disputed Aunt Fan's criticism, to be precise, I disdain to argue with anyone. If when I fell into the river at the age of five, I didn't know the depths, but now, I know very well that I am actively stepping into the rapids, and I am willing to move forward in the rapids, or I can't move forward in the rapids, I don't care, I don't care about anything except Jinbei. Even though there are undercurrents around me, they are pounding my legs and dragging me into places I don't want to go, but I will not compromise, even if I die. Just like when I was ridiculed and isolated by all my classmates, I was still unafraid to be kind to Gao Jiangjiang.

"No, I still have to live in the school for a while." Although I do not compromise with Aunt Fan's accusations and criticisms of me, I need to keep my basic bottom line, and I can't be shameless after hurting other people's hearts. I admit I hurt them, at least for Aunt Fan. Therefore, I rejected Gao Jiangjiang's kindness. I said to her, "It's okay, I can see your mother coming from the window downstairs, and I'll go upstairs to carry your luggage when I come." "Gao Jiangjiang didn't force me anymore, she won't force others, this is the advantage of her life.

After Aunt Fan brought the car over, I greeted her first, and then silently listened to the driver's conversation and laughter, and went down to load Gao Jiangjiang's luggage into the car. Aunt Fan generally gave me face, responded to me, and was polite to help me pull my luggage together, and after I declined, she didn't say anything. Compared with my mother, Aunt Fan is a very knowledgeable person.

At that time, the school holiday was not allowed to store luggage, and it had to be carried away, but if you enter the third year of high school, you can apply to the school, and after approval, you can stay in school for a period of time for self-study, but you must strictly follow the school rules for normal work and rest time management. I didn't have any idea of studying, I could lie to others, but it was not interesting to lie to myself, so, after sending them away, I stiffened up at school for a day, dragging my luggage and toiletries home in two trips.