I'm not meant to be this way.

It's not that I love to laugh and laugh when I see you; It's not that I love to tell jokes and say it when I see you unhappy; It's not that you are superstitious about constellations, and you only read it if you want to know more about what I don't know.

You say that you want to be good, you want to get the life you want, and you don't want your own life because you don't want it. I don't have an opinion, you want to be excellent, okay, I'll work hard too.

"Ah Yu, I seem to have someone I like." This is the first time that you have taken the initiative to call me a few days after your freshman military training and tell me that you have her. And I'm only a freshman in high school.

Brother, Ah Yu is not as simple as it seems, I am afraid that you will be confused by the colorful college life, and I am afraid that you will be disturbed by the bright girls in the university. That's why I chose to confess that summer before you entered college. Brother, when I know what liking is, I also know that I like you. I thought that when you liked others, you could have a trance to think that Ah Yu, who grew up together, liked you, and then hesitated, but it backfired, and it seemed to speed up the pace of your liking others.

I'm taciturn, I'm a transparent person in the class, but you're funny and humorous, and you shine in the social circle, brother, is it such a difference that makes me like you? Brother, Ah Yu is the girl you watched grow up, and she also grew up for you, she poured all her world into it, just wanting to change you, but you don't want to. Everything is said to be conserved, and what is not obtained here will always be returned elsewhere. But, brother, I don't want others to return my affection at all, I just want you to like me too; I'm also so afraid that you like her as much as I like you.

"What do you think, how Wenzhe feels about you?" This is what your roommate asked me, I sent you a courier, he picked it up for you, I think it was curious, he opened it, and I also had a letter in it, and he read it. I don't have to ask, you know, you must be in the dorm room and they will ask me who I am. Your roommate said you blushed, yes, who doesn't blush, but he thinks you like me. I replied to him, I don't feel it, it's not interesting to lie to him, and it's even more boring to lie to myself.

Brother, it's because I don't like it, your roommate has time to reply to my messages, but you don't. Brother, I admit that I used to covet your warmth and the hug you gave me when I was helpless. But now, why don't you have dependence, but you still have love for you, I don't want to be like this. Like you, not only do you feel terrible, but even I am afraid. Every day, I don't dare to look for you, I don't dare to send you messages, so I have to brush your space over and over again. I asked you, brother, can you not have a girlfriend, and you said, no, because youth can't be too lonely. Brother, your youth can't be too lonely, my youth is only lonely.

I can't ask for it, I can't let it go, so I can only let myself go through your world and never see the way back. Find all excuses to find you, the things around you, the tests in the book, brother, you are so smart, how can you not know what I think, I just want to be closer to you, close to light and heat, just like the instinct of plants. Brother, I really don't know what to do with you, brother, I want you to know all my things, ignoring whether you want to know or not.

Swipe your space over and over again, I don't know what happened that day, click into the couple's space, I know, it turns out that you have a girlfriend. At that time, I wondered why it was so boring, I don't know how good it should be. Brother, Ah Yu is not unprincipled, but he has no principles for you, but this time, he can't be unprincipled, brother, Ah Yu doesn't want to be a person who even hates himself. I don't want to go quietly, maybe it's because I want to leave a thought for myself, maybe I just want to have a beginning and an end, brother, I don't even know when it started, this reason is obviously not valid.

I called you, but you didn't answer, so I had to send you a message on QQ, and you didn't reply. I don't think I'll have the courage to get on that anymore. I still haven't fallen asleep in the middle of the night.,Still on QQ.,Brother,I saw you leave me a message.,Stay at a little later.,Brother,Can't you sleep too? Brother, you say, "I don't want to explain anything, little stupid girl, don't make me sad." "Brother, how can I be willing to make you sad, but, brother, I have already made up my mind to leave, I don't want to owe each other, I don't want to break the connection.

The next day, you had already deleted that message, brother, I wonder if it was a dream. Brother, I still didn't leave, because you closed the couple space, you said it was your ex-girlfriend's, and then I asked if you would be sad, and you said no. Hee-hee, no, no, no.

It seems to stop there, brother, you are still you, I am still me. Brother, people, always want more, and so do I. I also want an answer, and I haven't thought about what I'm going to do if your answer isn't what I want. You say, "Little girl, what advantages do you think you have, there are good-looking, gentle, and beautiful people around you, and you can't even reply to messages, and you always murder me." "Yes, brother, I don't have anything, do you know the "Matthew effect"," whatever you have, you have to add it to him so that he is superfluous; and he that hath not, even what he hath shall be taken from him. "I have nothing, I have always had nothing, there is only one you, not even what I have, I have never really gotten it.

You say, "I like pretty, I don't like you, and besides, we don't have the same personalities, we always quarrel, I just want to have someone, and I won't get tired of talking." "I almost gave up, because, brother, I don't have the idea of plastic surgery, and then I think about it, the last two sentences are also the reason, aren't they. Later, you apologized, brother, I didn't read the message you sent carefully, because I was sad, this is the first time someone apologized to me, and I feel distressed. Brother, you don't have to apologize to me, my brother, you don't need to apologize to me, everything is what I willingly do.

Brother, I asked you to send me a book, send "Cangyang Gyatso Poetry Collection", brother, you sent "Cangyang Gyatso Love Poems", brother, can I think that you want to send me love poems? Moreover, there was a note sandwiched inside, "The answer is very long, I am going to spend a lifetime answering, are you ready to listen?" "I thought it was also written by Cangyang Gyatso, and when I finished reading that book, I knew it wasn't, but I later learned that it was written by Liang Weiyin to Liang Sicheng, brother, thank you.

Brother, I sleep with that book in my arms every day, which is another color of my boring freshman life.

In the future, you may have a lot of people, however, there will be no me

Don't ask about the return date, don't ask about the future, don't ask you.