My name is Kiki

I always like to lie quietly in the chair at the door, even though there are only a handful of sunny days this winter. In fact, you don't have to bask in the sun, look at the crowd of people, listen to those three aunts and six mothers-in-law chatting and gossiping, and play with the group of children in the community if you have nothing to do, it is not a comfortable life.

I rarely go out because my legs and feet are inconvenient. For my convenience, my mother converted the garage on the first floor into my exclusive room. I love my mom, but if she looked at me with less sympathy, I think I would love her more.

I can't speak, because they don't understand what I say, so I'll be quiet and dumb, and I'll be happy.

The place where I live belongs to a private house, as the name suggests is a privately built building, the owner of the house is very Chinese diligent and thrifty, in line with the principle of making the best use of every inch of land and money, except for a sidewalk and driveway that barely drives two cars, the rest of the place is a building shoulder to shoulder. Although it has recently been zoned as a neighborhood, it seems to me that it is just an extra gate that I have never seen a doorman or security guard before.

I think I'm a bit autistic because no one talks to me but my mom. Even those children, at most, just ran in front of me and shook around a few times, and when they saw that I didn't move, they didn't say anything and left.

Do I feel lonely, you ask? What is loneliness? Can you eat it? Don't laugh, I don't really know what loneliness is, I love my life now.

A new family moved in on the second floor, no, to be precise, it should be a person, because except for a few men on the day of the move, only one woman was seen coming in and out the rest of the time.

Now there are still people who are willing to buy a private house instead of buying a real community house, I really don't know what is good about moving to this broken ground, I think she is sick, I despise people who are sick. That's why I despise her, and I despise her from the bottom of my heart.

She lives upstairs from me and hits my door every day, and the ghost never goes away. Because I despise her, I basically treat her as if she doesn't exist, and it is said that this is a higher order of contempt - ignorance.

She greeted me every time she saw me, even though I ignored her at all. Then she started calling me Qiqi, come on, I don't know you well, okay? I glared at her, but she didn't care, but smiled even brighter at me. I can't be fierce in front of that smiling face, yes, good men don't fight with women, I turned around and went back to my room to sleep, I can't afford to hide from me.

She still calls me every day when she sees me, and occasionally sits with me and talks a lot of nonsense when she is in a good mood, but I still continue to ignore her.

The days go by, it seems that I have gotten used to this noisy woman, sometimes she comes back late from overtime and can't see her, I still miss her a little, I think I'm used to being cheap and tortured by her cheekiness, definitely not like her, absolutely not.

This afternoon I lay down in the chair at the door again, it was a rare sunny day, the sun was so comfortable that I thought I would have had a good night's sleep if it hadn't been for the conversation between the two women who walked by.

"You know what? The woman who moved in two months ago and lived on the second floor was taken care of."

"Huh? Don't talk nonsense! I think that girl is very nice, and she greets everyone she sees."

"What are you lying to you? The man who took her was married, and she forced people to divorce and they refused, so she went to other people's houses to make trouble, and the man's wife was so angry that she was hospitalized. The man was also angry and insisted on breaking up, so she asked the man to buy her a house as a breakup fee. Well, this is the house now."

"I really can't see that this girl is this kind of person."

"That's right! Knowing people, knowing faces, not knowing hearts! Don't look at her smiling all day long, maybe what she calculates."

I suddenly got up and rushed over and knocked all the two women I was talking to to the ground, and I was just about to hit them when my mother came over and forcibly dragged me away.

Mom reprimanded me while dragging me into the house, but I didn't listen to anything, I just wanted to rush out and kill those two gossipy women, I didn't allow them to speak ill of her, I didn't allow it!

At this moment I finally understood that I was in love with her, in love with the woman who was noisy and laughing.

The rumors spread much faster than SARS, and within a few days, the whole community knew about it. She still goes out and goes in every day when she goes to and from work, and she still greets me every time, but she doesn't smile anymore. Looking at her lonely figure, I wanted to reach out and hold her, but my hand stopped in mid-air, what am I? Am I worthy?

In the blink of an eye, it was the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, and my mother happily beckoned the whole family to eat the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, but I couldn't lift my spirits when I looked at the hearty meal. I looked up at the window on the second floor, and although the lights weren't on, I knew she was at home, and she hadn't gone downstairs since she got off work yesterday afternoon. I was worried about her, but I couldn't do anything but quietly look at the dark window on the second floor.

It wasn't until 3 a.m. that the house quieted down, and a wave of sleepiness hit me, and I curled up under the covers and fell asleep. In a daze, I smelled a burning smell and there seemed to be hurried footsteps in the hallway. I woke up in shock. As I struggled to get out of the house, I saw two men running away, through the street lamp. I vaguely looked at the two men who came when I moved on the second floor.

Second floor! Oh, my God!! It's her family!!

I struggled to climb up to the second floor, but the door to her house was still closed, and it didn't look like there was anything wrong with it. Is it my delusion? No, I smell the burnt smell again, it seems to be coming from her house.

I knocked desperately on the door but there was no reflection inside. I'm in a hurry, I want to go and inform my neighbors for help, but what do I say? The smell of burnt was getting stronger and stronger, and I let go of it, and I started banging the door. One, two, three... I don't know how many hits I had, my shoulder was covered in blood, but I told myself I couldn't stop, she was in there, she couldn't have an accident!

I began to blur, I vaguely heard my neighbor open the door and scream that there was a fire, before I passed out I heard the sound of a fire engine, great, she was saved...

When I woke up again, I saw her and she was crying.

Don't cry, I want to see you laugh, you don't cry. I tried to tell her, but I found that I didn't have the strength to speak, and I wanted to wipe away her tears, but I couldn't move at all.

She kept calling me Kiki and crying.

My vision is starting to blur, hehe, am I dying? It's okay, death is a relief for me, it's just that I can't see you laugh anymore, I can't hear your croaking anymore, I can't hear you call me Kiki anymore.

Don't cry, you know? It's good to know you! It's good that you're alive!! I can leave with peace of mind, in the next life, I will definitely go to you, I want to tell you personally: I love you!

I am a Scottish Shepherd with a congenital disability that can only move on two legs, and my mother (aka my owner) calls me Kiki.